I read an amazingly helpful word today in my UCB notes which I am copying here in full.

I think this is much more helpful that what I was going to blog about. I hope you find it useful too. Thank you again UCB:)

‘…He who heeds counsel is wise.’ Proverbs 12:15
When someone comes to you with a personal problem, ask them the following questions: What do you think caused the problem? What have you done about it? What Scriptures are you standing on? What do you think I might be able to do, that you haven’t already done? These questions will help you weed out those who genuinely want help, from those who only want attention. Some people see prayer as a magic wand; they think you can wave it over them and their problem will just go away, then they can go back to living their lives the way they please. Here’s another situation. Someone may say, ‘The doctor has suggested surgery. What should I do?’ Unless you’re a doctor, be very careful what you advise. If God has spoken to someone and they have faith that He will heal them, don’t throw cold water on them. So what should you do? Jesus said, ‘…If two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven’ (Matthew 18:19 NKJV). The real question is, are they standing on their faith or yours? You can teach people God’s Word, but you can’t force them to come up to your level of faith until they’re ready. Sometimes people may be ready and all they’re seeking is confirmation. The Bible says: ‘You have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things’ (1John 2:20 NKJV). But unless God has let you ‘know,’ be careful what you advise!”

Those questions were challenging to me.
I have a lot of people come to me for advice. Most days I have at least two or three people seeking my opinion on some matter. It might be on the colour of their carpet, or on the choice of their future husband.

Let’s have a look at those questions more closely:

1. What do you think caused the problem?
2. What have you done about it?
3. What Scriptures are you standing on?
4. What do you think I might be able to do, that you haven’t already done?

All of these questions lead the person to seek answers for themselves and not lean (unnecessarily) on others. All of the questions contain the premise that God and His word CAN be relied on at all times and will offer both practical and permanent solutions to our difficulties. All of the questions turn the person away from seeking us out BEFORE they have really done some work themselves..
It is often tempting to offer a listening ear and even to seek to advise people without praying… It is also all too easy to suggest solutions and practical tips for change without referring to Scripture. We are encouraged today to stand on God’s word, yet again, for it’s supremacy and sovereign wisdom.

Those questions can also be applied to ourselves and anything we are facing today:
What do I think caused the problem?
What have I done about it?
What Scriptures am I standing on?
What do you think others might be able to do, that you haven’t already done?

We must seek God’s ways and His will first before seeking or offering advice. And I am advising myself to do that first too.