Murderers
I was very moved to read a blog today from my friend and church leader, former policeman, Anthony Delaney who writes…
“I wanted to be a police officer since I was thirteen, and at 16 my dream came true when I joined GMP Police Cadets. After that two years I served 10 years in various roles as a Constable, with some of the bravest and best people imaginable.
As I wrote in my book ‘Diamond Geezers’ my concept of true friendship was forged during those years, and in some senses it spoilt me for what sometimes passes as friendship in the rest of the world.
In the church I have made some great friends too, but such terms as brother/sisterhood are sometimes bandied around too easily as religious concepts among people who are Sunday acquaintances; but while not wanting to be over sentimental, when you’ve been through that dangerous door with someone, or fought alongside them in a dirty pub as the pint pots fly past – you learn who your friends are. My best mate is still one such man I faced fear alongside.
The call that every Bobby worth their salt would abandon everything to run to was that of a police woman ‘requiring assistance.’ It was a rare occurrence to hear such a call, because the police women themselves were such brave and resilient people, and when a PW was hurt by a man – he’d crossed the line.
My mum used to always warn me to be careful when I went on duty and I told her not to worry – but many bigger and tougher guys than me were invalided out after injuries on duty. I also remember when I was in GMP a police Inspector called Ray Codling was killed at Birch services and it cast a pall over the thousands who had sworn to work together there for ‘the protection of life and property.’ Just after I left the police it was a brother not only in the police but also a brother in Christ, Stephen Oake, who joined the list of those who laid down their lives in the line of duty. (The full list is found here).
Federation spokesman Ian Hanson said ‘GMP is a family’ – and both serving officers and retired grieve deeply today.
Since I first saw the news break this morning of first of all one, then two police women being murdered in such a callous manner by the coward Dale Cregan. I’ve wandered around in something of a daze. I cried a few times. I’m very angry. I reflected that anger toward heaven as I prayed and the Bible doesn’t shy away from people praying like that. God would rather us be real than religious. The God I know loves people, but hates evil – and punishes it.
If you want honest prayers where people vent their feelings about injustice try Psalm 5, 6, 11, 12, 35, 37, 40, 52, 54, 56, 58, 69, 79, 83, 109, 137, 139, and 143.
King David asked, “Lord, how long will the wicked”¦ triumph they break in pieces Your people, O Lord, And afflict Your heritage” (Psalm 94:3,5).
Jeremiah said: “Why does the way of the wicked prosper? “ (Jeremiah 12:1).
Anyone who knows me or our church will know we support and work for and with many great organisations that work to help those in prison, we work to help rehabilitate offenders, we believe in changed lives and see evidence of it regularly. We believe in forgiveness.
But the Bible also indicates that since the very first murder, blood shed like this pollutes the ground and ‘cries out’ to God.
On Sunday in our services we will have a time of silent prayer, and take up financial offerings – that is the least we can do.
And today I’m just talking to God about how I feel about this, I find it hard to talk to anyone else about it that’s why I’m writing it down here.
Praying for the families of Pw Fiona Bone and Nicola Hughes; RIP.
Praying for the City I love, where so much great work is done and incidents like this appall everyone, that after this ‘dark day’ we’ll work together for light and right.
Praying for the Chief Constable Sir Peter Fahy who I have met on a number of occasions, and all the Police here who are as he says, ‘In Mourning,’ that their professionalism and integrity will result in the strongest possible case being presented to the court so justice is done here on earth.
Praying for organisations like Redeeming Our Communities, founded from our church by Debra Green OBE, working together with the Police and all people of good will for the benefit of all.
But right now – I’m not proud to say, I can’t pray for Cregan, and those who have sheltered the evil coward.
So what do you do when you can’t pray?
I’ll have to talk to God about that.”
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It is so hard to handle our emotions when we face things like this – head on. I met a lady this week who is alleged to have committed a terrible crime. I was speaking in a prison and got the chance to pray afterwards with a number of inmates, including someone with easily the most frightening (but true) story I have ever heard.
But as I sat there looking at her, my heart wasn’t filled with anger or disgust. I just felt how awful it must be to wake up EVERY DAY knowing you could never undo that awful, life-changing experience. I looked at her wrist and arms with all the tell-tale evidence of self harm on it and wondered how this woman was still breathing. Most people wake up from their nightmares. I doubt she ever will.
“How can I forgive myself?” She (and others that day) asked me.
It was a hard question. It was a hard answer. I don’t think she liked it.
I spoke about the fact that God could help her to handle what she had done, but that harming herself was not the answer. I told her she needed God’s help. It didn’t go down that well. Poor love. She didn’t know where to start. As I prayed for her the tears of self-hatred, self-pity and self-denial fell thick and fast, merging together like pointless drops of water in a desert.
But I believe God did break through. If only for a few seconds.
I came home and cried and then hugged my children harder than they have been hugged for a while.
(When you encounter something so sad and hard to hear it makes you want to find those you love and affirm that love somehow.)
One thing I know, Saul was a murderer. David was a murderer. And yet look what God did with them!
God doesn’t need good people in order to make something good from them. He can use dirty, broken, disgusting, loathsome, hateful people and turn them around. He can also use confused, weak, hurt and unwise people – those second range of characteristics often sum up better those I have met behind bars. The women inmates I have met are often not callous, calculating and driven, but frightened, foolish and have followed someone or something out of fear, with disastrous consequences.
I pray that they will find hope in the God of new beginnings.
In the meantime join me today in praying for the families of those murdered policewomen. Join me also, if you can, in praying for the man who did it – that he will understand the consequences of his actions and will one day be given the wisdom to show true remorse.
May God forgive him as He has forgiven me. Not because I am a “nice girl” who deserves it, but because He is a faithful holy God who requires it.
(For more from Anthony’s site full of real, gutsy Christianity that puts the ‘man’ in Manchester, please go to Anthonydelaney.com)