Its quite a while since someone called me to share some guidance or speak a rebuke into my life, but in the last four weeks, I have had it happen three times. Each time, I have weighed it seriously and prayed hard about the words spoken. Bells of truth have sometimes rung. At other times I have sensed the unmistakable whiff of self-motive, insecurity or another less paletable emotion hiding in the words.

But how did I feel the second that ‘correction’ was being delivered? Hurt, that’s what. Hurt that someone would want to ‘damage’ me by delivering harsh words or corrections. None of us seek discipline. But we know – to the cost of society as a whole – that lack of discipline and the absence of helpful boundaries leads to carnage in our schools, on our streets and unwittingly filters into the church. Frankly, we need it boys and girls. It makes us a good deal nicer.

I have learnt two things when handling correction:
1. To thank the person for their words. (Even if I am binding them in Jesus’ name in my head!) Most of the time Christian people mean well. They do want to bless you, by ‘speaking the truth in love’ – something that can feel like saying anything they darn well choose! Allow their words to wash over you and pray that anything of Father sticks.

2. To weigh their words for a clear 24 hours before ‘retaliating’ in any way (harder if the person is standing in front of you.) In such situations, I have learnt that my first reaction is rarely my wisest one. If I am not careful I can speak out of hurt, ‘hear’ things negatively and struggle to remember the good things spoken over me. Its not until I dwell on it afterwards that the conversation or email can take on a different slant.

One of my dear friends is a guitarist in many different bands and travels all over the place with various musicians. He regularly has all sorts of bags, boxes and instruments in the back of his car. In transit, there is what he describes as ‘a settling’ as all of those things find their place in the boot. This is what we need to be like when faced with difficult words. We need to keep travelling and allow those words to settle somewhere, before moving on.

Today’s conversation which started off with the worrying phrase ‘I’m not telling you off but…’ followed by a telling off…left me feeling rather belittled and bewildered. Not to mention bally cross. But, as I have dwelt on it some more I have felt Father shine a search light over the words. I have sensed ‘the settling’ take place and found what He was saying through the muddle. I bear the person concerned no ill will – nor do I feel bound to whisper their name to others. Its over and done with. I have heard what Father designed me to hear and I can move forward.

I think that does the enemy’s head in. What he would like is for me to get all uppity and refuse to work with this person again. He would like it to be something used for disunity and to undermine the plans of God. Nothing delights me more than thwarting his ploys.

Maybe you are in the throes of something similar where someone has maligned you or what you stand for. Maybe their criticisms are of those you care about (how hard is THAT to bear?)

Jesus was regularly faced with critical words. His approach was rarely to answer back like-for-like. He was often able to answer with a question, or a word of scripture or even, at times to remain silent.
You have a choice about how you handle or mishandle what has been and is communicated to you. What are you going to do with that today?