I honestly used to believe that no-one could really dislike me. I mean well… even if I get things wrong. But in the last few months I’ve come to realise that I am disliked and possibly even hated by some people. Some individuals wish me harm and actively hope I won’t succeed. (A curse in effect.) I’ve had to grow a thicker skin without developing a hard one. Ever tried doing that? It’s a tough balance.

Its taken me a while to handle these situations with any sense of strength, and I’m still not arrived at ‘Don’t care’ station. The long and short of it is, I don’t like not being liked. I’ve tried everything I can think of to restore peace…. and felt very sorry for myself into the bargain. But I’ve come to terms with the reality of spiritual and physical enemies now. ‘Who I am’ is offensive to some, it seems.

I take great comfort from the amount of people in the Bible who battled with attack. Jesus included. He didn’t ask why. He expected it. So must I. I know that some will dislike me because I get things wrong and hurt them. Ultimately I may never know what I have done that causes offense, especially if the person involved wants no contact. But I’m learning slowly that asking God ‘why?’ doesn’t seem to get me very far. He doesn’t owe me explanations. Asking ‘what am I learning?’ or ‘what can I do differently?’ is much more profitable for me.

So when I feel my enemies closing in or life not going the way I imagine, that’s my first altar to build. Until God gets me out of it, He’ll get me through it.

I have to keep loving those who choose not to return the favour and pray that Proverbs 16:7 may soon be my reality.