Ems Hancock

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A new heron - 7th February 2012

Last week I had a strange experience. I woke in the night with a sharp pain in my chest and shoulder and with a pins and needles type of sensation in my left arm. This pain did not leave and, whilst it varied in intensity, it stayed with me into the next day.
I asked Jon to ring our GP who had no appointments.

So I rang my Doctor brother to get some advice. Having heard my symptoms he advised me to go to A and E. So I found myself in the Triage system being treated as a potential heart attack case.

Sitting and waiting for the ECG I found my eyes darting all over the department to see scared, ill people, fighting for the attention of the nurses. I was calm but incredibly tired and achey. I saw a young guy in his teens who had stabbed himself twice in the arm because he was angry with his girlfriend. I also saw a girl who was handcuffed to two prison officers – even when she went to the toilet.

I had some tests, none of which gave any cause for concern. The upshot of the diagnosis was that I had probably trapped a nerve somewhere in my shoulder and that this was causing the pain and the other symptoms.

I had to have one further blood test to make sure.

The test results took 8 hours to be given back to me. So, in that time, I was sent to the Clinical Decisions Unit and sat between three elderly women. It was not long before we got chatting. One lady, who I came to love very much over those next 8 hours or so, mentioned going for a walk ‘every fine day’ down by the river and seeing a heron. Now, those of you who know me well, know the significance of the heron in my life. It is my ‘God bird.’ It is the sign God sometimes sends me to say, “All is well, I am here!”
I shared my stories of herons with the ladies in the ward. One lady, especially, was really moved and inspired by them.

In the hours that followed, I discovered her amazing story and how she had brought up her three children. Her philosophy was not to shout but to LOVE. She told me that her mother had never raised her voice to her children either. I wish I could say the same.

This wonderful lady, Nora (“without an ‘H’ dear”) also spent her entire life volunteering for various good causes. The first time she found herself needed was as a teenager in the war. A lady standing behind her and her mother in the butcher’s queue began to sob. Her mother, who was kind-hearted and compassionate, asked what was the matter. The lady told her that her son had just been enlisted and that her husband was on firewatch duty that night. She said she was scared of being by herself. Nora was dispatched once a week to this lady for the next two years to sleep at her house and help her not to feel lonely.
Nora smiled as she told me that the man of the house worked for the Co-operative and was therefore able to literally ‘bring home the bacon.’ So for her trouble, she was given two rashers for her breakfast every week – something that would been unheard of in war-time-ration-conscious Britain at that time.

Then Nora begged to be allowed to join the group of young girls tending to the fields and crops. She was too young to be officially part of the movement, but her Father wrote her a letter and she was allowed to volunteer. She then worked for the land army for a number of years, growing skilled in tending to crops.

Her next job was as a worker with Stroke victims. She spent three mornings a week caring for a highly intelligent young Cambridge graduate who had suffered a severe stroke, teaching him to speak again. After three years she had the pleasure of being invited to hear him read the lesson in the local church. She said she would not have been more proud if he had been her own son!

Her list of what she had done got longer and longer. I listened with real amazement. She was never paid for a thing she did for 74 years. But her payment was in the joy it brought to other people.

Nora and I had a wonderful time together. We had a lovely cuddle and a pray and vowed to keep in touch.

She was my heron that day. And I was hers.

e petition - 3rd February 2012

Hello,
Today I am going to ask you to do something more than just read my blog. I am going to ask you to consider something.
Do you think it is right that children should walk into a garage or a WH Smith and be confronted by pictures of semi-naked women in sexual poses with their legs open?

Sorry to put that bluntly. But nor do I. Nor do any of the team behind the new charity Naked Truth which seeks to change the way people look at Porn.

One guy who heard about what we are doing wrote an email which said this:


Hi,
I’m writing just to share a small victory.
I work at at petrol station and after hearing about the Naked Truth at Prayer Storm, I mentioned the whole thing of modesty covers for “Nuts” and “Zoo” to my manager who sent off an email. Today I had the pleasure of sticking huge opaque plastic covers in front of all the issues of “Nuts”, “Zoo”, “FHM” and “Loaded”. All this was off the back of one email… just think what changes we can bring through prayer and action, however small.
Thanks for the inspiration."

I find that little email really encouraging and amazing. It proves that all of us can do something to affect our society - even in little ways.

How about you go a step further than this today.Rather than just thinking "Well done random bloke. Now where is my coffee?" Hows about this...?

One idea: sign the e petition below today. It needs 100,000 signatures to be eligible for debate in the House of Commons. It already has over 1000. Together we can double this within the next week, and do our best to make it spread.

Sign the petition now and please post this on your own sites and send it to your friends.

Thanks. Lets change the habits of our nation. One step at a time.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/25536

Listening in - 31st January 2012

Good morning... or is it afternoon?
It's been one of those days today.. I feel time has leaned away from me and embraced another. I am chasing it and it is not wanting to be caught. Ever felt like that too?? Good. Not just me then:)

Last night I had an extraordinary experience. I was minding my own business making a cuppa when I got a word in my mind for a friend in the States. Well, a few words to be precise. Not telling him to do anything but just confirming that God loved him and was pleased with his faith and progress. But there were specifics too.

I grabbed my phone and emailed it fast before the sense and the words got away. I knew they weren't my words.

I got an email back within a few minutes which really encouraged me. In fact it made me laugh and cry at once. The word had been timely and accurate (unlike some of my words... which appear, at least on the surface of things, to be neither!)

I felt like I had truly listened in to a conversation with God for this guy. It was lovely.

How I long for more of that!
How I long to be holy enough to be trusted with things like this more often!

In the process of the emails that followed, Bob sent me his latest piece on "Life today." It is an electrifying read. if you feel like being challenged today, go to:

http://lifetoday.org/connect/words-of-life/god-got-on-his-knees/

Please read - 28th January 2012

Hi all
Just to let you know that the new prayer website for Naked Truth is up and running. You can read one of my posts there. Please go to:


http://nakedtruthprayer.com/#/blog
and look for the post entitled
"Boundaries" Thanks.

Confession - 25th January 2012

Today my eyes alighted on the subject of an online article that I thought would be helpful to me. It was entitled "How to organise your home." Joy filled my heart at the very thought of some more clever tips on how to get my house looking like a double spread in Country Living magazine (one of my favourite eye candy treats.)

But I was sorely disappointed. The guru in this article told me nothing new. There were no tips I had not tried and no ideas I had not already employed. Could it be then that there is nothing left to learn? No new gadget to employ, or habit to begin?

Possibly, yes.
So why is it that my bedroom somtimes looks like the Febreze advert? (The current one on TV where they send someone into what looks like a derelict drug dealers house furnished with dirty clothes and furniture from the nearest obliging skip.)

The answer is ME.
I am the answer to that question.

Whilst I know all about the "put it away, throw it away or give it away" policy that makes for a happy, tidy home, I sometimes wish someone would come in and do it for me. I find it SO hard to do it myself.

I am not a natural cleaner. I struggle to make things tidy and neat, UNLESS they belong to someone else, when I am ruthlessly marvellous and can whizz through their junk in a jiffy!
I look at MY clothes however, and think, "whilst it is clearly three sizes too small, I MAY lose some weight, so I'll keep it - even though it is the colour of baby mucas and is a disgusting shape...Mustard may look better on me as I get more grey hair?"

There is something very theraputic about clearing the rubbish, sorting through the junk and cleansing the waste from our homes and our lives. I love being in a time of confession before God. (Well, thats not strictly true... I like the bit after I have been forgiven best.) In that moment the ordered shelves of my life gleam with purity and cleanliness, the surfaces sparkle with polish and the bin bags lie full and forgotten at the end of the drive. Bliss.

When was the last time you had a good hard look at your life and your habits and mindsets? When was the last time you checked whether or not what you are watching, reading or thinking was healthy?

I encourage you today to operate this policy in your hearts and homes
Put it away, throw it away, and give it away.

What do I mean?
Put away the past, the things that you did well that make you feel guilty now, or the things you did badly that make you feel guilty now.

Throw away the lies of the enemy that say you can never conquer the habit or pattern you are adopting right now. That is a LIE.
Give away yourself, your time and your life to God.
He will use it!

You might like to pray this prayer from the Anglican service book to help you:

O Lord our God,
you know us better than we know ourselves.
As we come before you now,
believers and doubters alike,
we all share a deep need,
for we are all lost without your grace.
Search us, O God, and know our hearts,
test us and know our troubled thoughts.
Give us true repentance.
Forgive us all our wrongs.
Transform us by your Spirit to live for you each day,
to learn to serve each other
and, through the grace of Jesus Christ our Lord,
to come at last to heaven. Amen.

Good to know you are loved and forgiven isn't it?

Now, where is that binbag? I need to unearth that mustard monstrosity in my drawer and consign it to the bin.

A big plateful - 24th January 2012

I love the name Benjamin. In fact, one of my sons has this name. Genesis 43:34 tells us that when the brothers of Joseph were fed at his table, special favour was granted to Benjamin.
In fact, his portion was 5 times as much.
I have been dwelling on the significance of this today.
Why would five times as much be appropriate for the youngest (and, presumably) smallest son?

Strongs Dictionary defines the word "portion" as coming from the Hebrew word “maseth” which can mean any of the following things: an uprising, utterance, burden or portion.

I find this interesting.
Benjamin’s portion was a clear sign of Joseph’s favour over him as the youngest son – the son he himself had once been, but was it also something else?

Did it mark him and his future tribe out in some way? Look at the words
‘uprising, utterance, burden and portion' again.
With that portion came not just favour but perhaps a sense of responsibility too.

Benjamin was the only one of the twelve sons of Jacob that was FULLY his brother, having the same father and the same mother. Joseph and Benjamin were the only two sons of Rachel, the beloved wife of Jacob.
As she was dying, Rachel named her son Benoni, “Son of my sorrow or pain.” Poor kid!! That's not a name to shout out in the playground is it?!
But Jacob stepped in. He renamed his son "Benjamin," which means “Son of my right hand.”
What is the significance of this phrase in scripture?

The right hand is referred to in the following ways:

1. It is the hand of strength and righteousness:

Psalm 48:10
According to Your name, O God, so is Your praise to the ends of the earth; Your right hand is full of righteousness.


2. It is the hand that signified victory over the enemies of God.

Exodus 15:6
Your right hand, O Yahweh, is glorious in power,
Your right hand, O Yahweh, shatters the enemy.

3. It is the hand that typifies the loving-kindness and faithfulness of God.

Psalms 17:7
Show Your marvellous loving kindness by Your right hand, You who save those who trust in You.

Psalms 18:35
You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great.


When Jacob renamed his son he gave him a different destiny. He was no longer called a ‘child of pain’ but a ‘son of authority.’
For all of us who are Christians, there is an abundant portion from God and a renaming. We are given more than we can ever ask for or imagine by a Father who longs to give good gifts to us. We are renamed from 'sinner' to 'forgiven!' From hopeless to "full of hope!"

God's style is to give to his children lavishly, fully and running over. His heart is for us to conquer the things that bind us and to live in victory over the big and the little things of life that seek to weigh us down.

Like Benjamin, we are TRUE sons and heirs with Christ.

Praise God today for that inheritance and truth and realise afresh your importance and standing before God – the God of five portions.

The God of small things - 20th January 2012

Being a 'stay at home Mum' is not something everyone relishes. I can remember my own Mum explaining to me that the constant irrepressible company of 4 small children often made her long for a decent conversation (not to mention a long lie down and a week in Prague.)

One of my high-powered go-getter type friends from University really battled with the desire in her heart to work when she had young children. She was in a group of 'Yummy Mummies' in Kent who seemed to adore being liberally sprayed with mucas and thought that an afternoon spent making organic vegetable soup and ordering jolly coloured wellies from Boden was deeply fulfilling. She did not share their view.

I can remember her joy on going back to work and how totally her demeanour changed. She enjoyed her children, but felt so much that her calling was within the cut and thrust of her highly-charged office environment. I would have lasted five minutes in her job. Suits and brutes aren't my thing. But she was capable of carrying off both outrageously well.

She told me two funny stories about her first week back after four years of staying at home.

If you are a parent of tiny people you will know that there is no such thing as 'alone time' if your child is conscious. Going to the toilet is therefore often a much more social activity than one would wish. (I can remember heady days of trying to wee whilst carrying a twin in each arm and keeping a toddler at bay with my foot...)

My friend, who shall remain nameless, to spare her any embarrassment, was used to such social toilet occasions herself. The first time she needed the loo at work she was so elated that no small toddler appeared to assist her, that she said out loud in a busy office,

"I've just been to the toilet! All by myself!" I think the silence that followed must have been deafening.

"Well done?" offered a colleague quizically, after some moments pause.

My friend, now flustered, tried to explain what she meant. It fell on deaf ears. There was much coughing. Mainly from her.

Later that week she and some of her managers were in a taxi on the way to an important meeting. Suddenly she spotted a vehicle out of the back window and shouted in excited 'slightly talking down mummy voice,' "Look everyone. A Fire Engine!"

Now, if you are a mother of infant boys such an event is to be celebrated with glee. Much pointing and noise making ensues. Deep educational points are brought out. Pictures can be drawn.

Not so much if you are with three 50 year old bosses.

They were unimpressed by her outburst.

I loved it though. The thing is this: we are meant to be impressed and excited by little things. All too easily we become hardened and 'adult' in our responses and we lose the ability to be grateful for small things or to see little everyday miracles.

If you could see the total joy with with my Esther 'knocks on the door' of an egg as she is baking to see who lives in it, it would melt you. I see eggs very differently now.

She teaches me in little ways with little hands and with her huge capacity to love unconditionally, all sorts of tiny miracles about the world and about God.

Don't lets be the cynical, bored, underwhelmed people we see in the world all around us. Lets be grateful for the small things today...happy to share them, list them and celebrate them.

Why not list some of the things you are thankful for.

I could go on, but I need to go and knock on the door of an egg.

"I wish I hadn't..." - 19th January 2012

I am sure, like me, you have had many ' I wish I hadn't' moments. Perhaps you shared something in confidence with a blabbermouth, or spoke ill of someone. Maybe you just embarrassed yourself or let someone down?

I tuned in on iplayer to the Mark Thomas show about Wigan on Radio 4 the other evening. It had moments of real hilarity, one of which was the recounting of an occurence that I confess had me crying with slightly inappropriate laughter.

Back in 1992, Wigan's rugby league team had just won some championship or other and the prevailing Primeminister at the time, John Major, came to meet and congratulate them.

Unfortunately for him, and the 2nd Row forward concerned, Mr Major walked into the changing room at full time to be met by a totally naked man - naked that is, apart from a single pineapple ring being sported as a genital appendage. I don't know who would have felt more awkward. The person inventively wearing the fruit salad, or the one who accidently beheld it!

We have all done things we are ashamed of, things we wish we could take back and omit from our lives and our memories. But the wonderful news is that God chooses not to remember our gafs and our failings. He does not parade them in front of us when we ask Him for anything:

"Don't you remember what happened last time? Pah! There is no way we are going THERE again!"

No, God is not like this. Instead, He is patient. Slow to anger. Abounding in love. He will not laugh at us when we try our best. He will encourage and cheer us on.

More that this, He tells us that there are a great cloud of witnesses also joining Him in his pursuit of goodness for us. (see Hebrews 12)

I, for one, am so glad that God chooses not to laugh at me, but to love me. Aren't you?

He knows my name - 16th January 2012

Last night I had the privilege of leading worship at a service where 7 young men and one young girl (all from the same house group) were baptised. It was a real night to remember for everyone present! I can’t remember how many times I wiped tears from my eyes. In the end, I gave up and just let them flow.

The testimonies were brilliantly expressed by the guys - men who were so different to one another, and yet had this one amazing thing in common : their new-found love for Jesus!

One of the men had been brought up as a Muslim. The cost of becoming a Christian was very real in his testimony. His story was very moving. Some people gave him a standing ovation as he left the pool.

Another was a professional martial arts fighter who met Jesus as a result of losing a match. (Proof that Jesus can and will use anything to speak to us!)

Anthony, our pastor, gave one of the best talks I have ever heard on the subject of Zacchaeus and I just felt hugely overwhelmed.

I felt overwhelmed that Jesus knew Zacchaeus’ name and that He knows mine. I felt overwhelmed that I am in a church where people don’t just get saved, but they get converted. I felt overwhelmed that I am allowed to minister to these people sometimes, even though I am so often such a poor leader. (I really messed up the structure of the last song and had to laugh out loud as the band fumbled to catch up with me! It is humbling to make such a basic mistake in front of a crowd. But it didn’t matter really.) I felt overwhelmed that God has saved me… little me.

He knows my name! I don't have to tell Him who I am, what I need or where I have gone wrong. He knows it all.

Afterwards, on the way to my car, I saw a girl who is a friend of Jon’s de-icing her car. I had seen her in the back of the church but hadn’t had time to chat to her afterwards. I shouted her name, “Charlotte!” and called her over.

As she came through the shadows to me, I was confronted by a COMPLETELY different person. This was not Charlotte at all. But someone I had never seen. In my life.

She looked at me curiously.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I thought you were called Charlotte!”

“I am,” said the girl.

(Cut to me, looking very confused now...)“ Oh…Were you just in that church?” I said, lamely. (Now starting to feel very awkward.)

“Er, no. I was just at a friend’s house.”

“I thought you were someone I know called Charlotte.” I said, apologetically.

“Well I am called Charlotte. But you don’t know me,” said the girl, laughing. “How weird is that? Of all the names…!”

“Yes, very.” I laughed too.

“I feel like I should say something very profound to you now,” I smiled. “But I have nothing to say.” (I racked my addled brain. Nothing.)

“No worries, I’ll just go back to de-icing my car,” said the WRONG Charlotte.

I got in my car. Now I felt a double portion of foolishness. I had cocked up the last song and now I had harassed a total stranger in the street. THEN on top of that, I had missed the chance to use the opportunity to tell her something about Jesus.

It was only as I drove away that I realised the significance of the encounter.

It was just God underlining the talk for me.

EMS I KNOW YOUR NAME. I also know which EMS you are. I know you. I love you. I care for you. I made you. I died for you.

By the time I got home I didn't feel foolish anymore. I felt very, very loved.

And I prayed that even though I didn't say anything to Charlotte of any value whatsoever, something of the strange encounter of a woman walking out of a church might tell her that she is loved too.

Enlarged - 11th January 2012

I sometimes love the old language of the King James version of the Bible. The other day I read a Psalm (Psalm 4) in that translation. It immediately offered a completely different take on the passage.

Psalm 4
"Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer."

Look at the same verse in the NIV.

“Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. 
Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.’

Not quite so amazing a translation is it?

“Thou hast enlarged me…” sounds pretty cool to me (as long is we are talking spiritual worth and not physical girth. I don't need the other kind at all.)

My view is that God does choose to ‘enlarge’ us when we are in distress.

When my Mum had eye cancer, God ‘enlarged’ her faith. Her witness became easy as she simply shared her story. Maybe something similar has happened for you too.

This week I had some wonderfully healing prayer ministry. As I sat and beared my soul I realised afresh that some of the difficulties I have gone through in my past have made me stronger, braver and closer to Father God. I am enlarged as a result.

When God wants to grow our spiritual muscles what does He do? Firstly, He puts our muscles to the test. He gives us something heavier to carry, or wider to hold. Then He watches how we handle it. Will we moan and groan under the weight or will we adjust well to this new way of doing life? What will happen to our faith when things don’t go the way we planned? Will we collapse, or blame others or will we work hard to see how God is enlarging us?

I read in my Bible notes this week that the enemy’s number one target is our faith. No surprises there! Jesus said to Peter, '...satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail...' (Luke 22:31-32 NKJV).

What a prayer!
“I have prayed for you,” says Jesus.
My notes went on to say, "In the same way that wheat gets separated from chaff, our enemy wants to separate us from our faith. He may attack your health, but he's after your faith. He may attack your finances, but he's after your faith."

He may attack your reputation, but he is after your faith. He may attack your kids, but he is after your faith. When we realise this, what we most need to do is hide ourselves in God and pray that He will choose TODAY to enlarge our faith.

Join me in praying:

Father thank you for this new day. Please use it as a day to help me see where you are at work in my life. Help me to trust in Your plans to grow me and develop me, through every and any situation I face. Help me not to forget that you will enlarge me, even and sometimes especially when I am in distress.

And she's back boys and girls... - 10th January 2012

Hello! And welcome to the 10th day of 2012 with me, Ems Hancock.
Join me as we play a new game of "How much closer can we get to God this year?'

It's going to be fun. YIPPEE!
Item one on our agenda:

1. What adjectives do people use about you... and are they true?

Pause to cough.

Another pause... for impact.

It does not happen often but occasionally someone will call me wise. (I KNOW, what you are thinking...me?!!) You might not think that's as complimentary as "Your legs look great in those jeans." But not so for me. Mmmm. Wise is great. It's not about bIg beards or weighty books. Or socks with sandals... Praise be! Wisdom, for me is about closeness to God. And that is like gold to me.

Wisdom is something I seek, but it is often elusive and short-lived in my nineteen-to-the-dozen existence. I can be wise and 'all-knowing' one minute and then totally fall flat and fail the next. Its amazing that common knowledge is not common at all... and, that conventional wisdom is not what it is cracked up to be...


I read a wonderful passage on wisdom this morning in Job 28 and it got me thinking.
I think there is a right way gain wisdom. There is also a wrong way.
What do I mean?
Well, if I am honest, much of my ‘wisdom’ or experience comes from my previous sinfulness and mistakes. I cannot claim it as "pure" wisdom… it is simply the result of God's grace through tough times, unfortunate decisions or difficult circumstances. THIS IS THE WRONG WAY. Or at least, not the best way.

A person who becomes wise by blundering through life and learning from it (a.k.a the artist formally known as ME) is, I think, much farther behind than the person who seeks out the right kind of wisdom from the start.

Job 28:23 says of wisdom:
“God understands the way to it and He alone knows where it dwells…”

Did anyone else spot the BIG CLUE there? Read that again.
“God understands the way to it and He ALONE knows where it dwells…”

This is both beautiful and sobering. There are many, many times when we seek wisdom from other places. We have a ‘try it out’ philosophy rather than it ‘pray it through’ one. (Or maybe that’s just me!)

If God alone knows, then why do we ask our husbands, or our teams or our friends first? Advice is good but it should always come AFTER seeking the face and wisdom of God.

And say so all of us.

Those of us who are wise, that is.

Happy New Year! - 1st January 2012

Let me be amongst the first to wish you a happy new year of much joy and inner prosperity!
I have been waiting in great anticipation for 2012. I have very good feelings that it will be a great year for me and for us as a family.
Last year was NOT so. (For me personally.)

Now that it has passed I can be honest and say, "Phew!" It WAS not fun for me in many ways. I stick my tongue out to its memory!
Things I desperately wanted did not happen. Things I fervently prayed for were not released. 2011 I am glad to see the back of you!


And so we begin again.
A fresh page is given. New hopes to be shared and new resolutions to attempt.

A few days ago I was hugely disturbed to read my prayer diary from the 4th January 2011. I read the entry with my breath held. It contained EXACTLY the phrases and words I was feeling almost a whole year later. That sense of having not grown, changed, progressed or developed hit me hard. High hopes were dashed and fresh ideas went stale before even being heard...

Like I said, not a good year.

But now new things are around the corner. I can start again. Pray again and try again.

I pray that 2012 contains much more for me, that I grow and develop in Christ and that I take others in that direction too.

Stay close to Jesus in this new year and it really will be all you hoped for.

Coming undone - 30th December 2011

There is a time and a place for the removal of underwear. As far as I am concerned this is not in public, or during the examination of one's dental region.

Before I alarm you further, read on.

This morning I had a routine dentist appointment. Whilst there something very untoward occurred in the cleft of my bosom. Now, if you know me well, you will know this to be a sizeable cleft. As I was lowered into the chair by the kind man about to examine my teeth, both of the underwired sections of my bra took the liberty of shooting out in unison. It was an inexpliacable and painful double pincer action which stabbed me hard in the breast region, not once, but twice.

I was somewhat shocked and let out a small cry which I think surprised the dentist and my breasts. They, now suddenly let loose, did not know which way to turn. Fortunately, for the Dentist and for myself, I was wearing a poncho-esque-cape-like jumper which hid the worst of my escapee chest. I was glad from the top of my head to the tips of my tippy toes, that I did not need root canal work and that I could remove myself pronto.

On leaving, I grabbed the children and upheld myself, (as best I could with a heavy handbag and three boys in tow) and retreated fast (but not TOO fast) to Marks and Spencers' car park where I tried, unsuccessfully and with much pinching of skin, to force the underwires back into the bra.

Thwarted by the amount of poncho and the amount of children witnessing the scene, not to mention the driving rain, the gawping of a carpark attendant and the weight of the handbag, I gave up and marched into M and S to buy bread rolls and discounted christmas cards. I was highly delighted to find some cards substantially reduced but could not enjoy my time in the queue due to the sudden and alarming appearance of the underwires at my chin. I stuffed them back down again and hastened to the car.

I tell you this story not merely to guide you through a day in the life of my ill-fated lingerie, but as a wonderful reminder. There are things and people (and in my case, wires) that hold us up. They may not be visible to others, but we are lost without them. God puts people in our lives to be those who support us and, dare I say it, separate us from others. Those who guard us and encourage us. When such people (or in my case, wires) make themselves scarce, things go awry. (PRAISE the good Lord for the current renaissance of the gypsy poncho.)

I am very blessed to have people in my life whose job it is to build me up. You and I are also meant to perform this function for others.

Last night before I went to sleep I counted those who have done this for me in recent years. I felt such a sense of God's timing and wonderful provision over me. Perhaps before this year is out, you could do the same and spend some time thanking God for those who "lift and separate" (sorry, could't resist) you.

Stressed skin - 29th December 2011

This morning I was amused to find an old book on motherhood that my sister-in-law gave me some years ago. In it, amongst other alarmingly pointless things, is a fail-safe homemade cure for "stressed skin." The book does contain some helpful hints. But this is not one of them. For your amusement the recipe is thus:

"In a small bowl combine several tablespooons of dry clay with a squirt of aloe vera juice and a tablespoon each of red cider vinegar and blackstrap molasses. Stir briskly with a wooden stirrer until the mixture becomes mudlike. Apply and leave to set."

I read this with glee. I mean - REALLY!
Whilst my skin is possibly stressed, (what does stressed skin look like??I am not sure I KNOW.) I do not have ANY of the above ingredients. So I shall content myself today with staring into a small bowl and IMAGINING it is full of the clay... and the other random ingredients above.

I think the only genuine cure for stressed skin is a long pray and a good sleep. But I might try the small bowl too. Just for good measure.

On being a good one - 28th December 2011

Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said, "Whatever you are, be a good one."

I like that.
It's simple.
It's challenging and it's thought-provoking.

I struggle to 'be a good one' all the time.

I am good at certain things but don't excel at any one thing, so I can find it hard to know at any one time what to focus on.
There are times when I envy people who can only play football, or sing, or bake. They are known for that and that alone.
I am not like that. I am not known for any one thing more than another, but I have learnt that this is what I am and who I am - for now at least.

What about you?

What do you do? And are you a good one?

Are you a mum? A doctor? A wife? A daughter? A cleaner?

More to the point, are you a good one?
What would help to make you better?

Whatever it is "work at it with all you heart as though you were working for the Lord, not for men."

Fireman Angels - 22nd December 2011

Yesterday my car broke down. The AA man (who appeared exactly 7 minutes after I rang) told me that there had been a small fire in the engine.
That's right. A small fire.
A tiny part of my engine could have meant the end of our car, or me...or the kids...

It is amazing to think what we are spared from. God's has commanded His angels concerning me to guard me in all my ways. The same goes for you.
He has deployed them. They are in your living room. Standing guard at your bedside. Watching your house. Protecting your children.

As I looked at the small piece of scarred blackened plastic that used to house the fuse box in my engine, I realised how good angels are at fire fighting too.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

The lack of car meant we might have to forgo travelling down to Essex for Christmas. But one of our Grow Group family has lent us his car. So Christmas is as planned in Hancockville.

Isn't God kind?!
(The image here is by my friend Ollie Pengilley who is the most fabulous prophetic artist!!)

"I will not say it" - 17th December 2011

The Bible speaks of a powerful weapon that some of us have never learnt to master.
It is not a sword but can do just as much damage. It is the tongue. A tiny part of the body and yet used to bring down or to build up.

There's an old English headstone that reads: 'Beneath this sod, this lump of clay, lies Arabella Young; who on the 24th of May began to hold her tongue.'

What a sad epitaph! There are times when it is hard to hold our tongue and refrain from shouting at our children, moaning at our husband or nagging our leaders. There are also times when we will use our tongue to tear ourselves down.

“What an old hag!” we might say as we look in the mirror in the morning.

Our tongues need to come under the mastery of Christ and agree with His statements about us and about others.

During the French Revolution the king and queen were beheaded, leaving the crown prince orphaned. There was talk about beheading him too, until somebody said, 'If you kill him you'll just send his soul to heaven. Instead, turn him over to Old Meg and she'll teach him vile, filthy words so his soul will be damned forever!' However, when they turned the prince over to this woman of the streets who tried to get him to repeat all kinds of profanity, he refused, saying, 'I was born to be a king and I will not say it!'

If you and I are daughters and sons of the king, our words should ALWAYS reflect that.
How is that for a challenge today?!

Snoring - 13th December 2011

1 Timothy 4:12
 says "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

I no longer qualify for the above statement. But I try to make sure that others don’t feel ‘looked down on’ around me.
For 13 years Jon and I took part in Spring Harvest where, for part of that time, we led the 11-14’s age group. I loved working with those young people, but even more so, enjoyed leading and pastoring the young team around us.
Occasionally I will see one of those team members at a service or event and find out what God is doing in their lives. It is wonderful that very often they set an example to ME of what God is doing.

One such person is a guy called Matt Hollidge. I am always so proud of everything he achieves for God. His charity KORE (www.kore.uk.com) that he set up with his wife Juls, who we got to know and love later, is quite extraordinary. I LOVE hearing what is happening with them and the amazing ways God uses them for His glory. Such gifting!! Such exciting promises over their lives! I pray it will one day make for an amazing book of God-encounters!

Sometimes we can all be guilty of imagining that the young don’t have as much experience or gifting as ourselves. But we can be very wrong. Anointing is not about age. David was a young shepherd boy but he was anointed to bring down the most feared giant in the enemy camp.
Josiah became king way before he was even 10 years old. Samuel was a very young boy when God spoke to him that first evening. Many of the really significant Bible characters were children or young people.

This week the youngest daughter of the explorer David Hempleman-Adams has successfully skied to the south pole with her father.
Amelia Hempleman-Adams has become the youngest person to achieve the feat.
The Wiltshire pair began 97 miles from the pole, where Sir Ernest Shackleton abandoned his mission in 1909.
Both said they were "elated but tired" after enduring temperatures as low as minus 50C (-58F) and spending 17 nights camping in the Antarctic.
Miss Hempleman-Adams said: "This expedition has been an extraordinary experience. The biggest challenges were the freezing cold, dried food, pulling frozen poo in a sledge and dad's snoring."

It is interesting that she rates the snoring alongside the cold! But she never says she struggled to believe she could do it. (Her older sister was the youngest person to trek to the pole, so I guess giving up is not an option in their household!)

There are some incredibly gifted children and young people in our church – a number of whom I sense already, have been given real anointing to teach, preach, prophesy and minister. I, for one, want to be someone who does not hold them back by my ‘spiritual snoring.’

So I finish where I started today. With a prayer based on 1 Timothy 4:12:
God help me not to look down on anyone because they are young, but help me allow them set an example for me and other believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.
Amen!

Practicing His presence - 12th December 2011

For some time I have struggled to get into the pattern of praying which I developed during my last year in Kent. It was easy to pray in my last house. I had a prayer room with no distractions in it. I could shut the door and everything was ready for me- my music, my books, my sofa and my piano. I spent evening after evening in there, by myself.

Those were precious months.

This house is not so easy. The piano is under the children's rooms and wakes them at night. I don't have my own prayer space and I don't have everything all kept in one place any longer.

Last night I was leading worship at church and as the last song ended I found myself in tears. God had taken me to a deep place in Him that I had not dwelt in for a while. I had missed it!

It reminded me of the beautiful writings of Brother Lawrence that I was encouraged to read by one of my mentors whilst at University.

Brother Lawrence was born around 1610 in Lorraine in France. He fought in the 30 years war as a soldier and sustained a near-fatal injury to his sciatic nerve. The injury left him quite crippled and in chronic pain for the rest of his life.

In middle life he entered a monastery and for the rest of his life devoted himself to practicing God's presence with joy and calm. This, despite being in constant discomfort and regular pain.

His conversations are recorded in a short booklet entitled 'Practicing the presence of God" (which can be downloaded here: http://www.practicegodspresence.com/)

One of my favourite quotes from the writings is this:
“When outward business diverted him a little from the thought of God, a fresh remembrance coming from God invested his soul and so inflamed and transported him that it was difficult for him to contain himself. He said he was more united to God in his outward employments than when he left them for devotion in retirement.”

That is really interesting – not to mention comforting, to me. Brother Lawrence’s experience was not that he felt closer to God in meditation and study, but that he was often more intimate with Him in performing his everyday duties in the kitchen or in the sandal repair workshop. He did not need the rosary or the stations of the cross to inspire him but the simple acts of serving others helped him stay closer to His Father.

Today as you serve others by making them food, buying them something or tidying up, you are serving God and can be as close to Him as you were last time you sensed the depths of His presence in worship.

For this is your worship too. Your service is service to Him.
Every time you put on the kettle, you are doing it “as unto the Lord.”
Rejoice in the small things that bring big joys and practice His presence today.

Selfish encourager - 10th December 2011

Giving encouragement is vital.
But I believe that the most important person you should ever encourage is YOURSELF!!

Before you think I have lost what little plot I still possess, let me assure you that this is an entirely Biblical stance.

When tragedy struck his life, we read: 'David encouraged himself in the Lord...' (1 Samuel 30:6). How did he do this?

We read that although he was greatly troubled that the men in his own army were threatening to stone him for the deaths of their wives and daughters, David did not panic. Instead we read,
“Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelek, “Bring me the ephod.” Abiathar brought it to him, and David inquired of the LORD, “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?”
He went straight to God, instead of straight to others.

He inquired of the Lord. First. Get it?

We need to learn how to do that too. We need to learn to go to God and ask Him what He thinks of us and what we are doing.


Jude writes: '...building up yourselves...praying in the Holy Spirit' (Jude v. 20). To succeed in life you and I must learn to encourage ourselves, to pray and build ourselves up.

So where do you need encourage today?
Is it in your prayer life? Your work? Your relationship with a difficult person? Your eating? Your spending? Your time? Your health?

Take some time to pray for yourself right now and ask that God would build you up in that area to fight against any enemy assignment. It matters greatly how you see yourself.
Are you a kitten or a LION?
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF!

The Maturing Process - 6th December 2011

Do you give up easily?
When you find things hard, are you first out of the door? Or do you try again and use a different tactic?
I confess that I am sometimes a good starter of projects. I get less joy out of finishing them- but I have learnt that I need to stick with it. I love to see a job well done. I am learning to enjoy persevering with something until it is completed.

I think God's primary work in us is sometimes simply to mature us. This is not always fun. It is not always easy. But it is the way that God gets His work done on earth. Well.

I was amazed recently to hear about the change in an old friend who used to be a real liability on stage; a gifted communicator, but sometimes a bit of a loose cannon, he was a guy whose mouth could often get him into trouble! Friends in common shared a few weeks ago how God has matured him and how he now speaks with grace, wisdom and clarity. No longer brash, no longer 'dangerous'.

I so want God to do this in me too. I don't want to be thought of as immature, and yet, so often I am. Let me explain.
When I think of someone with maturity it conjures up the following things in my mind:

They are able to take criticism and praise with grace. Am I?
They are not easily offended or angered. Am I?
They live a life of discipline and self-control. Do I?
They think of others. Do I?
They see the bigger picture, not just the part that affects them. Do I?
They consider before acting. Do I?
They speak carefully. Do I?
They seek to build up not tear down. Do I?
They know God well and are prayerfully committed to His plans. Am I?

I don't know about you but I don't do very well at all when I consider a list like that!

James 1:4 says "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I pray this over myself today... perhaps you would like to pray it too.

Father, teach me today to see the areas in my life that are not maturing in the way You need them to. Show me what You are working on in me and what You need me to do to get alongside You. Help me to focus on how You complete me, so that I don't lack anything. Thank you that when you look at me, you don't just see what is wrong with me, but You choose to see the image of Your beautiful son at work. Thank you for maturing me. Make me an easier job for you to work on!
Amen

Buy one get none free - 5th December 2011

For the last couple of years I have been more than suspicious about the rise in the 'bargain' notices on our supermarket shelves. This morning I read an article that rather highlighted my fears.

The piece, on the BBC news site, explained that often shoppers are duped into buying more than they need and spending more than they meant to. They see "bigger pack, better value" and put it in the trolley when in fact this means, "bigger pack, costs more." Have a look at these examples:

At Asda this week, a 1kg tub of (Big saving) Clover spread was £3.20, 20p more than buying two 500g tubs of the same product.
At Morrisons, the "value" pack of the same spread was £1.70 MORE than the two smaller packs.
At Tesco, the Vanish stain remover was £12 for the "big value" size - a full £3 more than the if you just bought three smaller containers with the exact same amount of product.

The supermarkets said manufacturers often put the value labels on their products. (i.e it aint our fault guv!) They say they offer thousands of deals and display unit prices so shoppers can compare items.

I have four kids. Since when have I got time to stand with my calculator and work out if its cheaper for me to buy three packs of dishwasher tablets or the one unfeasibly big one? Utter rubbish.

I think we just see big red letters saying "big value" and believe it!
Years ago of course, we would not have had the choice of the 50 different kinds of margarine on offer today. It would have been one choice: butter, from a local farm. It would have been wrapped in greaseproof paper with the price written on it in pencil.

Sometimes choice is a bad thing. It can lead us to the wrong thing.
We are faced with big and little choices every day. What do we spend our time on? Who do we prioritise in the diary? What is important? What should I read?

As a parent we also make these kinds of choices for our children too don't we? What they eat, how they spend their money, who they have to play etc.
False promises are everywhere. X factor contestants are told "You are a star! You just HAVE to be in the final!" and then are dumped if they don't receive the votes. The government says one thing and does another. Even our friends make promises they can't keep. It is painful but true.

But there is somewhere where there are no false hopes and no fake promises. The word of God is totally without blemish or fault. It is perfect and wonderful. Yes, it has parts that I struggle to explain and understand. But I am happy with that. I understand that God's ways are higher than mine. I praise Him for it. My thoughts are so limited and little!! I LIKE it that He knows more!!

I can only see the outside of things from my view but God can see ALL things. He knows All my needs and will supply them according to His riches not mine.

So today, grab a bargain. Hold on to the promises of God. They do just what they say they will... and immeasurably more!! And every other promised supermarket bargain? Well, they can just BOGOF.

Deleted emails - 4th December 2011

There are some people who want to be my friend. Perfectly nice people. But if I get a sense in my heart that I am not meant to build (or rebuild) relationship with them, I just won't. I always ask God first and He always tell me. If He says no, I won't return their call, or their email or their text. It seems cruel, and maybe even a bit 'unchristian' but it is part of the boundary system God has put around my life. If God says "stay away" I step back. I have made enough mistakes in that area before. I know God's heart for me and I trust the voice of my spirit when it says that 'no'.

So whether its an old flame, an old friend or a new person, I have my spiritual radar on high alert. I KNOW many people who have allowed the wrong people into their circle - people who have flirted with other kinds of thrones, other kinds of choices. Something ALWAYS happens to weaken that person in some way. Such people I need have nothing to do with. UNLESS GOD DIRECTS IT. That changes everything.

Perhaps such a person comes into your life again after a long period saying they need you in some way... that YOUR friendship is what they need to stand stronger, understand more of their destiny, rekindle their ebbing faith... I get that kind of email or phone call too sometimes. Not often. (I'm not that amazing!) But sometimes.

It all sounds plausible and tickles the ego nicely doesn't it? We all like to be needed and appreciated after all. And if people have nice memories of us? Well that's all very lovely too...

But I come back to the first point I made. We all have certain people in our lives who are not meant to be in our lives - if that doesn't sound like the craziest sentence I ever wrote! You see, there are some people who will bring us down, remind us of the old self, tap into part of us that is still to be conquered by Jesus. There are also other kinds of people who WE can be of real harm to. Perhaps we mistakenly think WE are the answer to their prayers and try to be. But God has hedged us in and it is never going to work.

There are people in your life and mine that the enemy uses to try and block us from God's plan for us. If, for some reason I am that for you, you have my permission never to return my call!

Forgive me for not returning yours too. The plan is bigger than we can see and sometimes its very key that we simply obey the voice of God rather than always understanding the reason why.

So today, I delete another email and wait on God to bless the person with my blind obedience rather than my interference. I am not the answer to that person's needs. Jesus is.

The importance of touch - 1st December 2011

This morning I sat on the stairs with Esther. We were just having a cuddle and the stairs seemed as good a place as any.

The cuddle went on a lot longer than usual. Esther was tired and grouchy and she needed soothing. So we just sat still. A rarity for her. And for me.

I was suddenly hugely struck by how fortunate I am to have cuddles and hugs 'on tap.' I have four very affectionate children indeed. They are marvellous cuddle generators, so I am well-off for physical touch - something I totally need.

How many people are there in the world, who have no-one to hug and cuddle? Or worse still, have no-one to cuddle them?

I thought of my single friends, my elderly neighbour... who do they turn to?

Today I want you to think of someone who has no-one else in their world who hugs them. Maybe it is your Dad, your brother or your friend. Whoever it is, make the time to go and find them and hug them this week. A hug can make someone's day... if they are lonely, it can make their week.

I remember once (with a tinge of sadness) that one of my close friends once remarked about someone in his life "all she needs is the kind of hug you give people and she would be fine." I never got to give that hug.

Don't let someone you love miss out on feeling loved and special today! Don't meter out your hugs. Give them freely!

The empty chair - 29th November 2011

As a rule I am not into attractional church models. I don't like the idea of a worship band that are so bothered about what they look like that it becomes more about performance than praise. However, recently I have been really interested in listening to some of the pastors of big churches and what has helped their churches to grow and develop. They have a lot to teach those of us from the "small is beautiful" mindset and background.

One such guy, TD Jake, has become a little bit of an overnight hero in my eyes. I only heard half of one of his talks the other day and confess to being a little bit blown away by his very simple but effective teaching on both church planting and church growth.

One of the most beautiful things he said that really stuck with me is this:

"If God has given you an empty seat in your church then there is someone in your city it belongs to."

I love that. I love the concept that an empty chair is a person waiting to be asked to come, waiting to be given the chance to get to know Jesus or remember why they once knew Him better.

Today, I want you to imagine your church. I want you to imagine your pew, or your row -the one you sat in last week. Now think of your friends, or your family. Who does that seat (or those seats) beside you belong to?

Join me today in praying that in this season of Advent, the season of waiting, we would wait on God to give us the courage to invite people to fill their seats.

No more empty chairs, in Jesus' beautifully perfect name! Amen!

The way you walk - 23rd November 2011

Earlier today a young guy overtook me on the pavement. He had a shaved head and tracksuit and would have looked quite menacing - except that he had a huge grin. He passed me and smiled at Esther.

Later on up the road he saw a friend and immediately I noticed a change in his demeanour. His gait changed. His volume changed. He swaggered and looked threatening.

I guess that his friend was someone who brought the worst out in him.
The two of them laughed and play fought up the road. I crossed over.

We need to be careful who we walk beside in life. Some people will encourage us - but encourage us to become less than we are. Others will challenge us but make us soar.

Who are you walking closely with. Do they change the way you walk? For the better?

Facts to make you go wow! - 21st November 2011

Have you ever considered the sheer amazingness around you and under your feet?

Sometimes we need to think about how incredible God is, based purely on the evidence. Check these facts out for size:

1. There are 62,000 miles of blood vessels inside your body – laid end to end they would circle the earth 2.5 times.

2. At over 2000 kilometres long, The Great Barrier Reef is the largest living structure on Earth.

3. The risk of being struck by a falling meteorite for a human is one occurrence every 9,300 years.

4. A thimbleful of a neutron star would weigh over 100 million tons.

5. The oceans contain enough salt to cover all the continents to a depth of nearly 500 feet.

6. Polar Bears are virtually undetectable by infrared cameras, due to their transparent fur.

7. The average person accidentally eats 430 insects each year of their life.

8. A single rye plant can spread up to 400 miles of roots underground.

9. The evaporation from a large oak or beech tree is from ten to twenty-five gallons in twenty-four hours.

10. Butterflies taste with their hind feet, and their taste sensation works on touch – this allows them to determine whether a leaf is edible.

I don’t know about you, but that sort of list inspires my awe and wonder to ramp up a bit. I mean, if God can create all of that then He can certainly handle the issues in my life and yours, right? If He can create butterflies with tasting feet, transparent-furred bears, incredibly heavy stars and plants with 400 mile long roots, He is big enough to deal with ANYTHING that I come up against. Isn’t He?

Thank you God for this beautiful, complex, fragile and amazing planet. Thank you for the constant reminder it is that You are in control; that You are the author and inventor of all things. I am in awe of you!

30 things you may not know - 18th November 2011

I read recently that a blog is merely 'graffiti with punctuation.' In this spirit, I offer these random thoughts and observations from the past few days:

1. A twin given sympathy for tummy ache is 97% more likely to pass on their symptoms to their other twin, free-of-charge, within seconds.

2. If there is a small amount of drink left in any cup, on any surface, in any room, it will be upturned with maximum effect by a deft toddler.

3. Just because you have a picture in front of you of a child's nativity costume, does not mean you can make that costume- even if you have all the right ingredients. Ben's robin redbreast outfit looks more like a Peruvian market sellers' poncho from the last century than any garden bird. I am genuinely sorry Ben.

4. Some men enjoy watching women struggle to get out of their driveways when they have parked ever-so-slightly across them. They laugh and point. They then turn away and pretend they were laughing about an old friend.

5. A dirty dishwasher won't make dirty plates clean. However many times you put then back in.

6. The more people you invite into your home, the more biscuits and chocolate you acquire.

7. Sometimes the most expensive groceries are the best value.

8. A kiss really does make it better.

9. Threadworm is very unpleasant.

10. Threadworm medicine is even more so. It is like chewing the underside of a chalk-covered flip flop. Only slightly less enjoyable.

11. Children are grumpier in November than in any other month.

12. Knitting a dishcloth is a surprising and satisfyingly-obtuse stress reliever.

13. Attack comes an hour after encouragement.

14. Removable wall stickers aren't. At all.

15. Recently cleaned floors = much muddier shoes.

16. Joy and silliness is catching. Especially amongst small children.

17. Peas left upside down and open in the freezer will always empty their contents at an unhelpful moment.

18. Attempting to wallpaper a utility room by yourself when you are too small to move the appliances is almost entirely futile.

19. Banana cake made with hideously blackened bananas is completely delicious.

20. If you buy your children an outfit for a special event in advance, they outgrow it before the event.

21. 100% of the children in my household have a pudding tummy. When really overfull from a main course they can always squeeze in a few helpings of apple pie and custard.

22. The higher the bran content, the longer it stays in the cupboard.

23. Celery can live unharmed, uneaten and undetected for months in the back of your salad drawer.

24. If asked if I would prefer a holiday to the Maldives or a part-time cleaner, I would ask for the cleaner.

25. I am more excited about Christmas than most 5 year olds.

26. Because I have no job and no "focus" from January I have thought about applying for such crazy things as a magazine columnist, a Child-minder and a family pastor. I say thought. I have dismissed them all...

27. A West Wing episode is the answer to most of my problems.

28. Spending five minutes praying sometimes feels like five hours of blissful counselling.

28. True faith isn't never questioning God. It is really questioning Him, not knowing the answer and loving Him more afterwards.

29. Children remember things. Especially things you'd like them not to.

30. My husband is worth his weight (and mine) in very heavy gold.

The blurring of reality - 17th November 2011

Is it me, or has the line between cool and uncool got very much thinner recently?
One of my brothers is a fashion journalist and some of the things he shoots and writes about just look plain geeky to me. He calls it ‘directional’… but I am wondering, in which direction?! Years ago if people had turned up to a meeting in National Health Glasses, drainpipe jeans, an ill-fitting snood, legwarmers and captain sweepover hair, they would have been laughed out of town. Now they are the latest thing in cool and revered for looking like they were dressed by a committee of unkind blind people.


In terms of language what used to mean bad can now mean good. So someone who is “sick,” is very cool indeed. Something that is “wicked” is also rather fabulous. Someone who is ‘gangsta” is wonderful. The other day I caught a bit of radio 1 where a DJ asked a pop artist to clarify what he meant when he said his backing singer was “a real problem.” “It means she is great on the album,” he explained, laughing. WHAT??!

In terms of our society these kinds of things can be really unhelpful. I was taught the old adage that you have to “say what you mean and mean what you say.”

I think that the enemy does use things to blur reality at times. He uses words, (the things we say to ourselves and the things others say to us,) to condemn us. He also makes things appear to be harmless that are harmful and vice-versa. (emphasis on the word Vice)

We need to be aware today that the enemy does prowl around trying to find ways to take territory from us.
The reality is that no weapon formed against us shall prosper and that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

There is nothing blurred about that reality!

Naked Truth - 15th November 2011

As some of you know, Jon and I have recently been involved with the foundation of a new charity to open people's eyes to the level of Pornography in our society. The Naked Truth was set up by our best friend, Ian Henderson.


For those of you who don't know the stats, here is how Ian puts it on the new website:

"53% of Christian men consume pornography.
1 in 4 pastors will look at porn today.
47% of families are worried that porn is a problem in their home.
Every second, 28,000 people view porn online.
There are 116,000 searches for child porn everyday.


Ian goes on, "Of course behind all those stats are people. People like me and you.
Four years ago, I discovered that my dad was one of those people. In 2007 he was arrested and charged with having indecent images of children on his computer. When he was arrested my dad simply said, ‘My life is over, isn’t it?’
A year later, he stood in court, having lost his job as CEO of a Christian charity, the darkest parts of him having been exposed to his family, friends, church and community. With local newspapers recording every word, he was found guilty and sentenced. A month later he died of cancer.
Proverbs 9 talks about how Folly entices the city with a invitation to eat and drink in her house: ‘Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!’ she purrs. ‘But little do they know’, verse 18 continues, ‘that the dead are there, that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.’
When I read these verses recently, I knew that they described my dad and the destructive power and pull of porn in the lives of millions of people. Just like Folly, the porn industry entices and deceives us, promising secret pleasures but covering up the consequences.
As a result, futures and families, marriages and ministries are at risk or ruined every day.
But Proverbs 9 also speaks of a women called Wisdom. Like Folly, she too calls out to the city with a better invitation: ‘Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live.’
It is a message that if my dad had heard in time, could have rescued his life before it was ruined.
So with a bunch of mates I am launching the naked truth, a project that seeks to change how every person views porn. It is a massive dream. It longs for a change in how people think about porn as well as a change in their behaviour.
In short, it’s about two things: open eyes and free lives. It’s a dream not just for the church, but for everyone from pastor to atheist.
The project will be launched starting Spring 2012 with various websites, campaigns, resources and support groups.
But it starts here, and now. Because we think real change only comes about through prayer.
If what you’ve just read makes sense to you and you want to know more, then sign up.
I believe that life, freedom and hope should be our shout too."

I can't tell you how proud I am of Ian and how he has chosen to speak out about this issue!!


If you would like to find out more, or be involved in our prayer campaign, please go to the website www.nakedtruthprayer.com and sign up.
Thank you,
The Naked Truth Team

Prayer Storm update - 12th November 2011

Oh my word!
Prayer storm was EPIC with a capital...E... well, all of those letters.
I am totally exhausted but in the best way.

It felt as though we really shifted and pressed into some very deep things this weekend. It was noisy, fast-paced, exciting and worshipful.

One of the most significant moments for me was when some girls came forward who had been hurt and abused by others. God gave us as a band some really special and precious music and words for them.

One of Andy Smith's latest songs was absolutely ripe and right in these moments:

"So I'll run
run to my Saviour, run
with all that's within me, run
There's no more chains that bind me now.

I'm leaving all my chains behind..."

As we sang those words over the girls who came forward it felt right to sing the words "Arise my daughter, you are pure!"

I love it when God gives us truth to sing and speak over others - just like He sings and speaks over us.

Praise God for the Prayer Storm guys. You are amazing!! More Lord!

Off the rails - 8th November 2011

This morning I was playing trains with Esther. In a mammoth clear-out yesterday I unearthed an old train set that the boys had when they were small. Esther was delighted with it and we enjoyed building the track and getting the little magnetic trains going round. However there was always one place where the trains fell off the rails.

The smallest imperfection in one of the tracks meant that the wheels veered off it every time. I changed the train formation and the order of carriages to see if that would help.

No.
The trains still came off.
Sometimes the SMALLEST thing in our lives can be the biggest stumbling block. Perhaps it is an attitude we hold about ourselves, or someone close to us - maybe it is a fear we have or a regret we rehearse in our minds. No amount of re-ordering the train or changing the nature of what runs over the tracks will help us.

What we need to do is examine the track properly and see what needs to be repaired or, in my case, thrown away.

May God bless you today as you examine your lives. Ask Him today if there is any small thing in you that displeases Him; any tiny reference point that shuts Him out or any seemingly harmless belief that is blighting your journey.

Father God, thank you that You care so much about how we travel through life. Thank you that Your love for us does not depend on us getting things right. Thank you that even when we mess up, deliberately or accidentally, You are there and You know what we need. Father if we need to stop and repair something, or stop and renew our minds today, give us the grace to see our blind spots and our broken tracks. In Jesus' name and for His sake.
Amen

Why Roast chicken = no cold turkey - 7th November 2011

This week I read a fascinating (and frankly rather scary) set of research data haling from the US about what happens when children don't sit down to eat regularly with their parents.

I am passing on the findings to you. I think you will be as surprised as I was! The article was called "Fighting for Family Dinners" by Chuck Colson. I wrote to him to thank him very much for his work and received a very kind email back from one of his staff. Don't you just love our American cousins?!

Chuck believes that something as simple as having dinner as a family every night totally changes the way children grow up and behave. He writes, "The dangers facing young people today are many: Premarital sex, drug abuse, suicide and dropping out (of school) among them. And if you listen to the “experts,” there are no easy answers for protecting our kids. And of course they are right. But saying there are no easy answers is entirely different from saying there are no answers.

The dinner table is not only where we share good food and drink. It is also where we share our values, what happened to us during the day — the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s where we ask questions and learn from each other. In a relaxed atmosphere we can talk about our faith. The dinner table can be a great refuge from life’s hard knocks and stresses."

I agree with Chuck. I find dinner times a fun and simple way of catching up with my little ones - and my husband.

But this is not all. Chuck writes further, "The National Centre on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University finds that teens who have dinner with their parents three or fewer times per week are four times more likely to smoke, twice as likely to drink, two-and-a-half times more likely to smoke marijuana and four times as likely to say they will use drugs in the future as those who eat dinner five to seven times a week with their parents."

You may want to read that again. Basically it said this; Kids who eat with their parents regularly are FAR less likely to take drugs.

Chuck goes on to show some research connected with alcohol and other aspects of young health:

"These findings mirror the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, which is the largest longitudinal study ever done on adolescents. This study has some amazing statistics. Of 12- to 14-year-olds who don’t experience family dinners at least five days a week, 14 percent report drinking more than once a month. That’s kids 12 to 14. But for those who have family dinners, it cuts it to 7 percent!

Also, 27 percent of 12- to 14-year-olds who don’t have regular family dinners say they think about suicide, compared with only 8 percent of those who do eat with their families. Among 17- to 19-year-olds, 68 percent without the influence of family dinners have had sex, versus 49 percent of those who have had family dinners."

I find this amazing. Truly.
So next time you feel exhausted and want to let the kids watch TV and grab a sandwich, think about THESE facts.


I know, more than anyone, that family dinners take planning, cooperation and work. If they are older, your kids might protest at a "new routine" but let them! Seriously, the stats are staggering.

Let them eat your roast chicken... not suffer later in life with cold turkey.

AMAZING CAKES - 3rd November 2011

I love the BBC. Not simply because it pays my husband's wages. But for chocolate reasons too. I have never put a recipe up here before. It's wasn't that kind of site. Until NOW. Check this out Jaffa fans! It's AMAZING.

Simon Rimmer's recipe for homemade jaffa cakes is well worth the (fiddly at times) effort. Thanks to the BBC food website for these beauties. MAKE. SAVOUR. ENJOY.

Ingredients
For the cakes
2 free-range eggs
50g/2oz caster sugar
50g/2oz plain flour, sieved
For the filling
1 x 135g/4¾oz packet orange jelly, chopped
1 tbsp orange marmalade
125ml/4½fl oz boiling water
200g/7oz good quality dark chocolate, minimum 70 per cent cocoa solids, broken into pieces
Preparation method
Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4.
For the cakes, bring a little water to the boil in a pan, then reduce the heat until the water is simmering. Suspend a heatproof bowl over the water (do not allow the base of the bowl to touch the water). Add the eggs and sugar to the bowl and beat continuously for 4-5 minutes, or until the mixture is pale, fluffy and well combined.
Add the flour, beating continuously, until a thick, smooth batter forms.
Half-fill each well in a 12-hole muffin tin with the cake batter. Transfer the tin to the oven and bake the cakes for 8-10 minutes, or until pale golden-brown and cooked through (the cakes are cooked through when a skewer inserted into the centre of the cakes comes out clean.) Remove from the oven and set the cakes aside, still in their tray, until cool.
Meanwhile, for the filling, in a bowl, mix together the jelly, marmalade and boiling water until the jelly has dissolved and the mixture is smooth. Pour the filling mixture into a shallow-sided baking tray or large dish to form a 1cm/½in layer of jelly. Set aside until completely cooled, then chill in the fridge until set.
When the jelly has set and the cakes have cooled, cut small discs from the layer of jelly, equal in diameter to the cakes. Sit one jelly disc on top of each cake.
Bring a little water to the boil in a pan, then reduce the heat until the water is simmering. Suspend a heatproof bowl over the water (do not allow the base of the bowl to touch the water). Add the chocolate and stir until melted, smooth and glossy, then pour over the cakes. Set aside until the melted chocolate has cooled and set.

Avoid Mysia at all costs - 2nd November 2011

A lovely faithful praying lady called me this morning. She left me a voicemail message and encouraged me to read Acts 16:6-8. I did.
I place it before you for you to read:

"Paul and his companions travelled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas."

What is all this about you ask?
I ask too!
Sometimes God prevents things from happening. In this case, the Holy Spirit AND the Spirit of Jesus combine forces to make it VERY clear to Paul and his pals NOT to go to Mysia.

So this got me thinking. I wonder what that word means? Shall I tell you?
The word Mysia is from the root word meaning "abominable, or criminal." I think that is quite a helpful understanding. The Holy Spirit and the Spirit of Jesus wanted Paul to stay away from Mysia. It was not in the plan. It might have ruined the rest of the plan!

Where were they meant to go? To Troas.

I looked up the word Troas too.

The word "Troas" is from the hebrew word meaning "to penetrate."

God has a plan for you and for me which is good. His plans will stop us doing something that displeases Him in order that we truly penetrate and perpetrate His will.

This helps me today. In my human self I am sad as I was told this morning that the record company I have been praying into are not interesting in pursuing anything with me.

I am so grateful that the Spirit of Jesus guides us. He shuts doors for us to help us avoid Mysia and lead us to Troas.

May He confirm His will to you today and help you to avoid Mysia at all costs.

Tiny big things - 1st November 2011

Sometimes we can find it hard to hold out hope where there is little to go on.
Even those of us with real faith and trust in God can have days where the impossible dream just looks…well, impossible.

I was reminded again this morning not to belittle the little things - the things of God that go unseen in our lives.
There is an advert on TV at the moment for a new smart phone that shows small amazing things; leaves twirling in the wind, babies clapping… small details of life that we can so often miss in the busyness of it all.

Zechariah 4:10 says this: “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”

We can certainly feel deeply insignificant at times, as fragile as a dried leaf. It may seem like nothing is happening and the prayers we are praying for our children, or our future, or our church are simply not being answered. In situations like this we can ignore the ‘small’ but significant things God IS doing. Instead we say, “Where are you God? Why aren’t you doing what we talked about?!”
Frustration can loom large on days like that and faith can seem a shriveled up shadow.

I believe that our prayers can and DO release the power of God and activate the forces of heaven to go to work in that situation. God loves to use things that we consider to be small to activate His gigantic purposes. How many times did He do just that in the Bible?

Moses’ stick that parted…yes that’s right, the Red Sea.
David’s catapult that killed… Goliath.
The little boy’s packed lunch that fed… a multitude.
The smallest man from the smallest tribe – Gideon, who became… a mighty warrior.

It's not about the size of what we are given. It is about the size of HIM who gives it to us. Think about that today.

Not my version of Forever - 30th October 2011

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is to separate from basket-ball player husband Kris Humphries after being married for 72 days. 72 DAYS. That's not even three months!!

The pair tied the knot at a lavish ceremony, (filmed for television, of course) on a private estate near Santa Barbara, California, in August.

The couple cited "irreconcilable differences" as a reason for the split.

"I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision," Kim said. "I hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out."

You think?!

Now don't get me wrong, but three months is NOT my version of forever. Is that even long enough to get to know how someone likes their coffee in the morning??

Mmm. One thinketh not.

I think it is SO sad that marriages can be taken so lightly these days. Kim and her husband apparently had a pre-nuptual agreement - meaning they had doubts from the start!
"To have and to hold from this day forward... until about next Tuesday..."!

Pah!
I checked out some divorce stats though and in the US they are slightly falling after a HUGE increase...

The other day the boys were asking me about divorce. They were talking about one of their friends who lives with one parent. We talked for a while about parents and how they are God's design for families.

Tom looked at me very sweetly before saying, "I'm glad you're my mummy Mummy. You work very hard and you are so much better at cooking roast dinners than Daddy."
I agreed. But then I reminded them how much better Daddy is at Maths homework. They looked thoughtful.

"Don't get a divorce Mummy," said Sam.
"No darling, I won't," I said. " I love Daddy far too much... and anyway I like cooking you roast dinners and watching Daddy do times tables."

Two are better than one.
FACT.

Failure v success - 24th October 2011

How do we become successful at what we do?

The first singing competition I ever entered I came 12th. I was so gutted that I refused to enter the following year! It took me a long time to feel confident to sing again. I eventually decided to having some singing lessons and spent a term at school getting my grade 7 voice exam.

Since then I have had plenty of good gigs (and my fair share of bad ones.)

So what makes me carry on and keep singing anyway?
Partly I can't help it! It is part of my DNA! I love it and it comes naturally to me to sing.
Secondly, I believe that sometimes something happens to other people when I sing. It can unlock certain emotions, feelings and allow God to do something in their lives. This belief keeps me singing.
I know I am not the best musician or the best singer in the world. But I know that I carry the presence of God in my heart and this comes out of my mouth - albeit in my failings as well as my triumphs as a musician.


Job 11: 15 declares "...you will lift up your face without shame."

My bible reading notes the other day contained this helpful paragraph:

"Many of the world's most successful people were at one time considered to be failures. A banker in Iowa laughed and told Alexander Graham Bell to remove that 'toy' from his office. The toy he referred to was the telephone. Talk about missing an investment opportunity! A movie producer once scrawled 'reject' on the screenplay of Gone with the Wind. In 1906, the man who was Henry Ford's greatest investor asked that his stock be sold because he didn't believe the company would go anywhere. Imagine living with that memory! Mr Roebuck sold his part of the Sears and Roebuck Company for $25,000 because he said it would 'never fly' But it did, and in its heyday it was selling $4,000 worth of goods every second. Understand this: you have everything every winner in history had - plus God. The God of the Red Sea, the lion's den and the walls of Jericho is your God! So get your eyes out of the rear-view mirror and start looking ahead. Celebrate the fact that you survived. The devil may have tried to destroy you, but the good news is that he failed. In spite of all you've been through you're a walking, talking, living, breathing miracle of God's grace. He must have kept you around for a reason, so find out what it is and pour your life into it. You say, 'I've got more troubles than Job.' Maybe, but Job trusted God and came out on top! His book reads, 'If you devote your heart to [God]...you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear.'"

Be a success today! Tap into what God has told you to do and stand firm without fear!

Busy business - 18th October 2011

Did you know that no matter how busy you are the Lord promises you that HIs grace is sufficient for today?
This is a truth that the enemy does not like us to know, or remember.

Last night I was at our worship leader's monthly gathering where we pray for one another and seek God for our church.
Lynn exhorted us not to be too busy; not to allow ourselves to fill our heads with things and people to the exclusion of Christ.


This morning, busyness was the theme of my 'word for today'. Is God trying to say something to me??! I copy it here wholesale for you to dwell on too.

"The word busy is used only once in Scripture: 'While I was busy doing something else, the prisoner disappeared!' (1 Kings 20:40) In this story, God judges someone for forgetting what's important and taking their eye off the ball. In 1992, Fortune magazine featured 'The biggest business goofs of 1991'. In an act of corporate cooperation, AT&T reached an agreement with Con Edison, the power company in New York City. The contract stated that whenever power demands exceeded the utilities' grid, AT&T would lessen their demands on the electric utility by throwing a switch, unplugging some of its facilities, and drawing power from internal generators at its 33 Thomas Street station in Lower Manhattan. On September 17, AT&T acted in accordance with its agreement. But when AT&T's own generators kicked in, the power surge kicked out some of their vital rectifiers which handled 4.5 million domestic calls, 470,000 international calls, 1,174 flights across the nation carrying 85,000 passengers, and the total communications systems linking air traffic controllers at La Guardia, Kennedy and Newark airports. It was a giant mess! The alarm bells at the 33 Thomas Street station rang unheeded for six hours. Why? Because the AT&T personnel in charge of the rectifiers were away - attending a one-day seminar on how to handle emergencies! The Bible says, 'Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8 NLT). If satan can't 'devour' you with a frontal assault, he'll settle for diverting you with things that ultimately don't matter. So, don't get diverted."

May you know what sends you off track today.

Taken - 17th October 2011

This week I spent some time with a friend of a friend. I don't know her at all... but I sensed she would be someone I could chat with, because of what I knew about her.

I asked God if she was a 'safe' person to confide in. He told me that she would 'take something from me' and that would prove she was... (WHAT??)

I had to ask Him to say that again! It made absolutely NO sense.

After she had gone, I discovered that my phone was missing. I looked everywhere for it. I rang it and couldn't hear it ring... Then I remembered what God had said to me and wondered if this girl had taken it somehow?

She then rang my landline and said she had found she had two phones when she got home. (We think Esther may have put mine in her bag or something as she has NO memory of picking it up.)

Suddenly I realised what God had done! I was amazed by that simple occurance.

I don't feel as though I need someone to confide in at the moment... or that I don't have enough people around me... But I sense that God has marked this person out for some reason and so I am watching with interest to see what God does!

I think it could be something very significant:)


Psalm 25:14-15

The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the LORD...

New freedom - 13th October 2011

This week I have had a personal revolution. It has been wonderful! It started out, simply enough, by me sending an email of encouragement to a pal of mine in the states who is a pastor, speaker and writer.

He emailed back and asked how I was. I greatly surprised myself by being 100% honest! ( As in, the kind of honest that says things you weren't really aware of yourself! I pressed "send" and then thought... Yikes! That was a bit unlike me! I NEVER do that! That is so out of character.)

Anyway, the guy sent back a page from his church website with some amazing teaching about freedom. The main premise I picked up was this:
Freedom is not the absence of something (a bad habit or thought pattern) but the presence of Someone - i.e. Jesus.

Read that bit again, because its really, really explodingly amazing!

How many times have you thought that you would be free of your depression, or your porn habit or your eating disorder when you weren't exhibiting those behaviours any more?
If you are me, the answer is EVERY TIME.

He also went on to talk about levels of change and how and why people don't always change easily and permanently.

For someone who has experienced a great deal of healing and freedom ministry, I was slightly more than amazed that the WHOLE of the way he presented his material was new to me. I mean totally new. Now I have read this guy's book and dipped into a few of his blogs but for some reason, I had a veiled heart to this nugget of joy.

But now! Boy oh boy! I am lapping it up;) I have literally fed this teaching to everyone in my world who has had time to chat this week. The girls I mentor have all had it... the Grow Group we lead got it...mums in the playground... anyone who will listen is getting a big dose of this truth!

It is hard to do it justice in one blog. It really needs about 20 to even scratch the surface! Seriously. But here is the MAIN thing God has begun to show me:
I have realised that the head is NOT the source of the bad habits and negative thought patterns we sometimes battle with.

That was a pure revelation to me. I have always believed that the mind is the battleground of the enemy and the flesh. It IS something the enemy uses but its not the MAIN thing. It is actually our hearts and our beliefs that underpin those thoughts! That is where things are lost or won.

So ALL these years I have been struggling with certain mindsets about myself, my future, my calling etc etc... I thought I just needed to change MY MIND!!! But I am starting to realise that this is not true. It is found in my heart first. It is my beliefs, not my behaviours that I need to work on.

Thank you Jesus for this new revelation and thank you Bob for helping me discover this.

If you would like to find out more about these foundational truths for yourself, please go to:
http://gatewaypeople.com/ministries/freedom-kairos/media1



USEFUL TIPS:
Don't be tempted to skip the foundational stuff and click on a talk that might sound relevant to you. If you miss the foundational stuff, the other stuff just won't help you as fully.

These video talks are long, interesting and thorough. You will benefit from setting aside at least an hour and a half with a pen and paper next to you. If you stop the video for some reason and close the window be aware you have to start again at the beginning. You can't just parachute in where you left off. This may be a blessing because you might just have to hear it all again:-)

The Storm is gathering - 11th October 2011

I had never seen anything like it. I have been to crazy prayer meetings in my time, but nothing quite like this. I was singing backing vocals for Andy Smith at one of the prayerstorm events a few months back and didn't really know what to expect. I arrived before the others in the band and so walked into a hot room full of shouting, crying, laughing, swaying people. They were praying.

What happened afterwards was a breaking in the heavenlies, an opening, a thin space. It felt like God was IN the room, inhabiting the worship, breathing life into the pray-ers.
And breathing life into me.

I was fascinated to see that the average age in the room was well below the typical age associated with a life of prayer. (By about thirty years.)
I felt old, and ashamed that there weren't more of my generation THIS excited by Jesus...but I felt SO at home too.

So what exactly is this Prayer Storm all about. Well, it is more than just a movement of radical worship and intercession. I asked one of those involved in its leadership, Alan Taylor, for his thoughts about what God is doing with it right now - exactly a month from its next event.


"Prayer Storm carries a vision to see God awaken hearts to a life of prayer,' he said. " A revival like this means being grounded in Jesus and empowered by the Spirit to pray the prayers on the Father's heart. We are convinced God is calling a new generation to stand up and pray history into reality."

This ties in with part of the book I have read (The Reformer's Pledge) that declares in chapter 3, "History belongs to the Intercessors." Something I have blogged about before at length.

The prayer storm site (www.prayerstorm.org) speaks about crying out to God for a 'Great Awakening' in our cities and our Nation. They declare, "we are passionate about praying for our generation and seeing the Lord release a great move of His Spirit in our Nation."
I will certainly agree with that. Passion there is!
In unbridled wonderful abundance!

Alan continued, "Hundreds will be gathering for a prayerstorm on 11/11/11 and Saturday 12th November in Lighthouse Church, Salford. There is a horror movie coming out on the same day that is about a gateway of hell being opened. We trust the Lord will open up a gateway of heaven’s power for a new generation to pray like never before in this nation. Why not join us?"

I will be there.
Will you?

For more information please go to www.prayerstorm.org

Please be seated - 10th October 2011

I love it when Jed Bartlett walks into the Situation Room on the West Wing. Everyone rises. He invariably then says "Keep your seats!" and they all sit again.

Today Esther asked me to read her story. She settled herself into the large wooden chair that her godmother gave us and then realised that I didn't have room to sit down. She moved up a little and patted the chair next to her, "Sit down!" she demanded. But I couldn't. There still wasn't enough room.

"Mummy, sit down!" she implored again.
"Darling, I can't" I said. "You have to let me sit down FIRST and then you can sit on my lap. I am too big to sit on you. I will squash you. We will both be uncomfy if we do it that way round!"

Eventually Esther conceded and got off the chair. She waited until I was seated before climbing up onto my lap. She settled herself, snuggled into me and waited for her story.

My friends, today's thought is very simple.

Sometimes we can try to make ourselves comfortable. We spread out and take up all the available room in our lives, making every decision, using up every minute. We may then see God (on the sidelines) and, as a last minute thought, invite Him to join us, but there is no real room for His presence or His person. It is only when we VACATE the chair/throne that He has the room He needs. You see, He is so much greater, bigger and more powerful than we are. He needs SO much room. All the room there is in fact.

His whole person and His WHOLE presence is the best platform for us to sit or stand on. It is the least precarious way to live life and it is the wisest anchor to hold on to.

Say to God today, "Please be seated."
But, before you do, move! He is HEAVY.

Answers to prayer - 8th October 2011

God answers prayer. He does it wonderfully, beautifully and sometimes when we have faith smaller than a mustard seed.

Amazingly, my meeting with the Headteacher of the school was totally fabulous. Before I opened my mouth, he told me that the year 3 teachers had decided to change the literacy work to use Toy Story instead of Harry Potter because of my letter to them.

Then he said that he felt it was wise not to celebrate Halloween in the school, partly because of people's religious views and partly because it wasn't necessarily a good idea.

(Cut to me, open-mouthed and smiling.)


I thanked him and then I told him a little more about why I feel the way I do. It was great to have the chance to share what my faith means to me and explain what I want the boys to think about and why.

I told him that I strongly believe that the things we think about affect the way we feel and also affect our behaviour. He listened carefully and seemed very interested. I went on to explain that I believe in the supernatural and that some texts contain images that clearly ring true with my experience of it. I told him that some books show an unhealthy subtlety that doesn't portray a clear line between good and evil and that I felt this was unkind to young children (and adults) and dangerous for them to think about.

I then went on to widen the field further...

That day, Sam had a reading book from school which I felt was far too violent. The story line was about a 9 year old cabin boy who sunk an axe into the forehead of a pirate. It was gruesome. Once we had read that passage I said we were not going to read any further. I didn't want that kind of thing to embed itself into my little boy's mind.

I put the book in my pocket and decided to share its contents with the Head. I read the passage to him.
" I used to be a teacher," I said. "If a child in my class had written a story that contained these images, I would be very concerned about their mental state and certainly take the story to the Head. And yet, this is available in our school for anyone to read. I just want to ask this question: Are we ok with this?"

He thought for a moment before answering.
As he popped a post-it note into the page in question, he replied saying that he had not thought about it from that view-point before that it did concern him.

The meeting ended with him saying that he would speak to other teachers about the book and he thanked me for my time. I thanked him for the way he leads the school, for the fact that he had taken me seriously and for the way the staff had responded to my views. We exchanged a warm hand-shake and, I am sure, mutual respect.

I confess that on the way home, I was massively elated. I felt honoured for my position and not ridiculed. Whilst I sense he did not always agree with my views or share my reasons for them, he kept saying that they were reasonable and that I had a point.

I felt encouraged and uplifted that I had chosen to speak out.

I believe so strongly that what we read, see and experience has power. I know how quickly I can 'talk myself up' (or down) by the internal script I allow to play in my mind. I think images have double the effect. The enemy is about three things
1. Stealing
2. Killing
3. Destroying.
(read John 10:10 to see what I mean)

What does he steal? Firstly talent. He skews people towards the wrong things.
What does he kill? Dreams. If he can take those, he has secured our future is not a faith-filled one.
What does he destroy? Mainly and primarily our peace, joy and our trust that God has a perfect plan that we will enjoy being part of.


We all (if we love the Lord) have a responsibility when we produce ANYTHING - from food to adverts, from kids' shows to stories - to guard that it meets the following criteria:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

If it doesn't, we must "out it." At once.
Otherwise we allow the powers of darkness in. And I have prayed with enough people seeking deliverance to know where THAT leads.

Betel - 6th October 2011

Thank you to the many of you who have prayed with me for my friend Tom.
I am delighted to report that he is now in the Betel rehab In Watford!!!!! PRAISE GOD!
After a series of miracles and answers to prayer, he decided to give up his council flat and go.

(One of the answers to prayer, he may not thank me for! I prayed that he would start to realise that his flat was not a nice or healthy place for him to be. He battled with me on the phone one evening about it and so I prayed that God would change his mind. The following evening, as a result of him being sick on his neighbour's floor, he was punched in the face! Ouch! He suddenly decided that his flat was not a nice place to be....Sorry Tom!!)

Anyway, our amazing friends at St Peter's Brighton, and a couple of musician friends of Tom's and, of course the wonderful Jennifer who orchestrated the album for me, all played their part to get him to Watford. No mean feat for someone in Tom's condition!

I am not allowed to contact him, so all I can do now is pray that he survives the cold turkey without fitting and manages to stay for the 12 month rehabilitation period. Please join me in seeking God on his behalf.

Thank you!

Too much Halloween - 4th October 2011

This morning I wrote to my children's school to ask that they think hard about what they expose the boys to in terms of Halloween this season.

Sam had come home yesterday saying that one of his teachers had told the they were going to decorate the classroom to look like the Great Hall in Hogwarts in the Harry Potter film. My internal alarm bells went off.
I love my kids' school with all my heart. They are totally amazing at what they do... but I just remembered the nights of nightmares with Sam and wondered if it was all going to start again.

I just wanted to make them aware of what we believe and why and that I was concerned that Sam was feeling the way he was.

I have been really shocked this year by the huge rise in the amount of costumes, accessories and general Halloween items for sale in the shops already. The costumes alone are truly hideous and some of them, really frightening. The worst one I saw was a dismembered body for a five year old child to wear. Seriously. Does anyone else out there think this is a sign of a healthy society??

I mean, if we (on any other day of the year) dressed up as witches, devils, skeletons or demons people might think we had a screw loose...

How can we be so duplicitous as to say that on every other day of the year they must behave, be kind and not frighten others and then let them have a day off those moral guidelines??
It makes no sense to me.

In my letter to the school I quoted one of my favourite passages of scripture: Philippians 4:8 and said that nothing about Halloween ticks one of those things listed.

Is it noble? No.
Is it of good report? No
It is excellent? No
Is it true that is all harmless? No. Not in my experience of the demonic.
It is praiseworthy? No

Therefore I have to stand up and say so.
They can think what they like. (And they will!!) Some will think I am a muppet for making something bigger than it is... but some may see my point of view too.

I have been asked to go and see the Head and I am looking forward to the chance to sit down with him and find out what the school policy is on such things.

I hope they are noble, true, excellent and praiseworthy.

Bible Bingo - 3rd October 2011

The other night I couldn't sleep. I knew it was God asking to get up and pray. I haven't had this feeling for a long time. (But let's just say that might be because I have been so tired lately!)

Anyway, I went downstairs and sat in my prayer chair and waited with my pencil in my hand.

I asked a series of questions. Each time the same thing happened.
I asked God something, then a verse (as in the chapter and number) came into my head. I wrote the reference down and then quickly looked it up. Every single time (about 11 in all) the verse I read totally smacked me between the eyes with its clarity - speaking into my life with total accuracy.

I cried. I smiled. I cried again. It was like a conversation. But one side of it had been written thousands of years ago.

It was truly beautiful.

I wouldn't normally advocate this kind of Bible Bingo thing. I mean, it can be so open to misinterpretation can't it? You all, I am sure, know the joke about the guy who was wondering if he should date a girl in his youth group and opened his Bible at random, finding the verse "You shall go out with Joy." (And, yes. That was the name of the girl.)

Nevertheless, it was the way that God chose to speak on me on Friday for a whole blissful hour. It was precious and it was perfect.

For me, I mean.

I was throughly grateful to God for illuminating certain specific things that have been dark recently.

I feel unburdened and free. (I am also delighted to know that various actual Bible Bingo games exist for the purposes of teaching children. Who knew??!!)

(TOM update for those who pray for him: He is now willing to give up his council flat and is hoping to get to Betel today.)

Power in the name - 30th September 2011

Forgive me. I don't know your name or what it means. Do you?

All of our children are called names that mean something precious to us.

My name, Emma, means various things like "Healer", "Whole' and "Completed." I LOVE that! If ever I could just sit down and in three words explain what I want to do with my life I need to look no further than my own name!

Praise God!

I think one of the saddest names in all of scripture is the name Ichabod. This name means 'The glory of the Lord has departed." in other words, "God has left the building!"
WHAT a name to call a child!! What a sadness and a fear and depression must have rested then!

I can remember when we were young we had a friend staying with us from Africa who shared that people from his tribe called their children the worst names they could think to ward off evil spirits. So it would be common to call a child "Vomit," or "Death"... (Imagine trying to write that on a CV sometime?!)

Names are vital because they give us a sense of what the family are thinking and who they are. I can remember smiling hard when I met a little girl called Tuesday. I asked her why she was called Tuesday and her reply was thus, "I was born on a wednesday but me mum couldn't spell it." Priceless my friends!

If you know someone's name you can call them in the playground or across the street and get their attention.
Friends, you and I know the name of Jesus! There is NO other name by which we can be saved. There is no other name by which dead men are raised, blind men can see, deaf people can hear and lame can walk! There is no other name that makes demons flee, waters part, thunders roll and storms subside. There is a great deal in that name of names.

Jeshua. Immanuel. Counsellor. Prince of Peace. Everlasting Father. You know them. You can call them!
Call on the name of Jesus today. Call Him! Call His name! Shout His name! Whisper HIs name! Cry His name!
HE WILL HEAR!

Kind Betrayal - 29th September 2011

Sometimes people might betray us with the best of intentions. For example if you are being hit by your husband, you may confide in a friend and that friend might seek help on your behalf... that is a kind of betrayal... but it is a KIND betrayal.


Bono is reported to have said that "in order to love the world, we must first betray it."

This is true of many things.
In order to love people well, we must understand them; their faults and issues and what they need. We must then be wholehearted in loving them anyway. Love is blind, but true love wears dark glasses.

Sometimes the easy thing to do is stay silent. Nearly always in fact.
But that may not be what people need. Someone around you might need to "dob them in"... to offer some sort of 'kind betrayal' in order to help them get something right today. It is a dangerous path to tread.. but there are too few people willing to get stuck in and make a difference...

So, do you know someone with a destructive habit or mindset that you need to pray into and challenge?
Do you know someone who lives outside their means and then blames everyone else when they can't afford to buy shoes?
Do you know someone who is constantly stressed at their children because they have taken on too much?

Perhaps you need to offer a word of kind betrayal today.

I won't shush - 26th September 2011

God is my protector! He is my shield and my defence! Woe betide anyone who does not understand this and tries to come against me as I am serving Him. They will not come against me at all... but all the forces and powers of heaven!

And exactly the same is true for you my friends!

The weapons we fight with are not carnal, but spiritual. They are not transitory but eternal. Praise God!!

When I was a teenager, my brother discovered an amazing track of a vagrant guy singing the old hymn "Jesus' blood never failed me yet." Someone (Gavin Bryars) had taken the song, just recorded out in the open by a guy with no apparent hope, and put a very moving set of strings to it. It was one of the most poignant tracks of my late teenage years. The memory of it makes me gulp with emotion. You can listen to it at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnYA0w4cWiE (There are some weirder video postings out there, so take care!!)

Jesus' blood never failed me and never will.
I will not be quiet about that.
I will not be intimidated about that.
I will sing and I will praise!
That is my choice and my passion, my delight and my joy.

Today I am praying for a friend of my own. A friend who is battling his own inner poisons; a friend who on the surface of things has little hope. But the thing is, I don't buy that "no hope' rubbish for a second. I don't believe it, of anyone. I think there is a plan for each of us and I'm there and you are there to remind people of that plan.

I am praying hard that Tom has the courage to ring the Betel rehab where he has a place ready and get himself there today! I have the faith to believe it. Why? Because Jesus' blood never failed me yet! And it's not about to.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
More info about the song below by the composer Gavin Bryars:

"In 1971, when I lived in London, I was working with a friend, Alan Power, on a film about people living rough in the area around Elephant and Castle and Waterloo Station. In the course of being filmed, some people broke into drunken song - sometimes bits of opera, sometimes sentimental ballads - and one, who in fact did not drink, sang a religious song "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet". This was not ultimately used in the film and I was given all the unused sections of tape, including this one.
When I played it at home, I found that his singing was in tune with my piano, and I improvised a simple accompaniment. I noticed, too, that the first section of the song - 13 bars in length - formed an effective loop which repeated in a slightly unpredictable way. I took the tape loop to Leicester, where I was working in the Fine Art Department, and copied the loop onto a continuous reel of tape, thinking about perhaps adding an orchestrated accompaniment to this. The door of the recording room opened on to one of the large painting studios and I left the tape copying, with the door open, while I went to have a cup of coffee. When I came back I found the normally lively room unnaturally subdued. People were moving about much more slowly than usual and a few were sitting alone, quietly weeping.
I was puzzled until I realised that the tape was still playing and that they had been overcome by the old man's singing. This convinced me of the emotional power of the music and of the possibilities offered by adding a simple, though gradually evolving, orchestral accompaniment that respected the tramp's nobility and simple faith. Although he died before he could hear what I had done with his singing, the piece remains as an eloquent, but understated testimony to his spirit and optimism."

Make yourself at home... - 19th September 2011

The other night at our Grow group, I left the room for a while with the phrase, "Make yourself at home." I am sure you have said it yourself.

When we say that, we are asking the person to feel comfortable, to do what they would do in their own house; to put their feet up and treat the place as if it was theirs.

Last Friday I had the immense privilege of singing with Andy Smith at a prayer day for The Message. I love singing with Andy and we are a good team. A couple of people came to share various words and encouragements and then I started a prophetic song which began with the words,
"Make Your home in me." In other words, I was asking God to make Himself more at home in my life, my heart and my spirit; to do what He would do in heaven.

I was moved by the words that came out of my mouth without any thought from me.

Ephesians 3:17-19 says this
....Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. May you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."

We all need God to be at home in us. We need Him to feel comfortable in every corner of our lives so that our roots will grow down deeply into His love and keep us strong.

When was the last time God was truly made to feel 'at home' in you?

Unexpected encounter - 17th September 2011

Last night a crazy thing happened. I was just coming out of a supermarket at about 8pm when I saw a girl shaking and sobbing.
I stopped her and asked if she was ok.

She looked petrified and couldn't speak properly.

I told her I was a safe person and wasn't going to hurt her. Then I asked if she wanted me to hug her. She just flung her arms round me and cried uncontrollably.

When she had calmed down a little, I pulled away and stroked her hair away from her face. I sensed she had been hit by someone, so said, "Have you argued with someone who hit you?" She looked at me suspiciously, her eyes blackened with cheap, running mascara.
"Yeah," she whispered, clear shame on her face. "A bit."

I asked her to show me where she was hurt. She pulled back her hair to reveal a large red egg-like lump on her head. Her boyfriend had hit her. Again.

She had a cigarette (to calm down) and I went to my car to put my shopping away so that I could take her into the pharmacist. I was worried she wouldn't be there when I got back, but she was.

I led her into the shop in a daze. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next and felt unsure what I was meant to do to help her. So I prayed. The pharmacist was gorgeous. He asked minimal questions and gave her a drink of water and she took some paracetemol. All the time he talked to her, her head was down. I caught his eye a number of times. This was not the first time he had seen this kind of thing. It may not even have been the first time he had seen her. Like this. I wasn't sure. He looked sad and resigned. BUt very kind.

The girl (who we shall call Claire) said she was ok. But there was no way I was going to leave her on her own. She was cold, (she only had a T shirt on and had wet hair) shaking and, although she looked about 30, was only 21.

I decided she needed to come back home with me. I rang Jon to tell him what I was doing and then asked her to come with me to my car. I told her I was a safe person and didn't want to harm her but that she was in shock and needed a cup of tea and a chance to calm down. She seemed to relax a little and trust me. Then she told me the whole story.

Her and her boyfriend had a little baby 9 months ago and he was taken into foster care a month ago. She was totally devastated. Her boyfriend (much older than her) has an anger problem and has hit her a number of times. They were both arrested a couple of weeks ago for being drunk and disorderly. At a friend's...er...christening. She begged me not to tell the police. If she was reported, it would get back to the courts and social services would not give them their baby back.

Life was not going well for this little girl. She had made a series of bad choices. She was in a mess. We arrived back home and at first she was very scared of Jon, but she softened when I said how lovely he is. She sat and shook at the kitchen table whilst he made her a cup of tea. She then started to talk more freely as she stopped shivering and warmed up a little.

I told her why I had invited her back - not just to be kind but because I wanted to tell her that God has a plan for her life. I told her that whatever mistakes she has made, there is hope for her if she reaches out to Him.

I then asked if I could pray for her. She said yes. When I had finished a simple and short prayer, during which she cried fast-flowing tears, she smiled. For the first time. She suddenly looked young. She looked 21. She looked her age. All the years of worry and debt and doubt and abuse melted away just for an instant. I held her hand. It felt good to sit with her and let her hear some truth.

I asked her what she wanted to do and if she felt safe to go back to her house. She told me that her boyfriend's parents would be there, so he would behave himself. I explained that I would not take her home if I felt she would not be safe and gave her my number to text me later. I also made sure I took hers. Just in case I needed to contact the police. There is no way I take that kind of abuse lightly. Baby or no baby.

I took her back to Sainsburys as she said she wanted some more fags.

As we said goodbye she looked so little and lost and small that I burst into tears as I drove away. NO-ONE should have to live like that!! No-one should be with such a dangerous person that their baby is taken away. At 21. What kind of reputation has she got? What hope does she have of release?

I'll tell you. Every hope! Every possible hope is hers. Christ came for the Claires as well as the Ems' of this world. His love for her is not diminished by her lack of social standing or her criminal record. She has never had the kind of parenting modelled to her that she so wants to be for her son. But she IS getting help.

Last night I waited two hours to get a text from her and ended up texting her. She said she was at her Mum's, to avoid another row. She was very grateful in the text for our help.

I pray for Claire that she would be intrigued by the stranger in the carpark who took her in for an hour or two and just let her talk. I pray too that the situation with her baby is resolved and that she can be the mother she always dreamt of. I hope she stays in touch and that I can let you know how she is. Do pray for her and her situation.

Thanks

Ems

Remembering - 16th September 2011

What do you find hardest about being a Christian? What do you struggle with most? For many of us, it is knowing scripture, I mean REALLY knowing it.

I spent a number of years helping out with some of the children's work at a conference and heard countless people say, " It says in the Bible somewhere..." and then go on to misquote or misrepresent something Paul or some other Bible-writer once wrote.

I can do the same thing. I can take hold of a verse and make it my own without closely examining its contents and context, or I can completely forget where it is from and link it to another verse in my head. Come on admit it! You have too!

What does the word of God do for us? Why is it a good idea to get to know it better?
I once listened to a talk where a woman, who was a counsellor, explained that she had memorised the whole of Proverbs. She said that in any and every counselling situation God used something from that book to be the key into that person's life. WOW!

I found this incredibly challenging. For one thing, its not like memorising Jude!! Proverbs is a mighty book with some hefty stuff in that doesn't relate to the next sentence in any way. To memorise that? Surely that is too hard??

But what about you and me? What might God be wanting of us in terms of our memory and scripture? I think God wants to use scripture to challenge, comfort, teach, rebuke and train us in righteousness. How do I know? Because that is what the word of God says about itself!!

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”

Learn this verse. Put it on your fridge. Put it on your mirror. Put it somewhere you will see it today.

“Nothing pays greater spiritual dividends than memorising Scripture.
Your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be more effective. Your counselling will be in demand. Your outlook will change. Your mind will become more alert. Your confidence will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified.” (UCB Notes)

LEARN IT. USE IT AND WATCH IT CHANGE YOU AND THOSE AROUND YOU. The truth shall set you free. Now, where does it say that?!

Prayer - 15th September 2011

Just now my son Tom came to talk to me, "Mummy, I've been banging my wobbly tooth on Esther's cot so it will come out faster!"

"Don't do that darling!" I said, rather alarmed. "Let it come out in its own time."
God spoke to me through that little incident.

I have been wrestling with an issue in my life for the last week or so... whether I accept an offer I have been given for the album or wait on God for a new one.

I sometimes find it hard just to wait. I like to DO. I like to be busy and feel a sense of achievement at the end of the day; to tick a box; to write a mental 'done' on my 'to do' list.

It is hard to write "waited on God" as part of that. But I sense that is what I have to do.


Father, sometimes I get it wrong. I try my hardest to make things happen. I pursue dreams, people and situations and am frustrated when nothing seems to come of it. Help me in my impatience. Teach me the difference between what I must pursue and what I must wait on You for.

Help me today to let go again of my dreams and trust that You will show me ALL THINGS in your good time. Amen

Silent promotion - 14th September 2011

The other night I had a friend over for a catch up. As we were chatting, she shared a word with me. She said that in the army, people get promoted when they begin to demonstrate the characteristics of the rank above.

I liked that. I think that is so true of God and the way He does things with me.

Then today I read this in my UCB notes written by Bob Gass.


"Before God gives you more, He observes you with what you already have. Furthermore, when He speaks a word over your life it's like a seed; it needs time to take root and sprout. If God has planned it for you, don't be impatient; '...wait for it; because it will surely come...' (Habakkuk 2:3).

That really spoke to me. I can be really very impatient at times. I want the next stage NOW, thank you very much! It was quite hard to sit this morning and ask God what I am still getting ready for. In some ways, I don't feel I have even started!!

But if God has planned it for me, it WILL happen. If I have planned it for me, then it won't.
What has God given you already and how are you handling that?
What would you like Him to give you and how are you proving to Him that you will handle that well?

I read on, "Patience develops in us the ability to stand up to the pressures that accompany blessing. Look back; aren't some of the things you've been through the very things that have equipped you to handle what you have now? Had God given them to you sooner you couldn't have handled them, and He loves you too much to let that happen."

Anyone else out there slightly wincing at the truth of that one?! Pressure does accompany blessing. When we are given more to handle, we have more to handle! (apologies for the incredible obviousness of the last point!)

The Bible says this: 'Don't be impatient for the Lord to act! Keep travelling steadily along his pathway and in due season he will honour you with every blessing' (Psalm 37:34 TLB).

Rejoice my friend; God is getting you ready. He may have even silently promoted you. But He won't have done if you are whining about what you have; that its not enough. He is watching your attitude as well as your aptitude.

Prayer changes everything - 12th September 2011

I read this sentence in my UCB notes today and it really stopped me in my tracks.

"You can do great things after you've prayed, but you can do nothing of eternal value until you've prayed."

Sometimes we can think that what we are doing is of value... we can esteem it and hold onto it and even believe it to be of God. But guess what? It might not be. It just might seem it.
Plenty of things look like the real thing but are in fact elaborate fakes. Take the art world or antique trade as an example; some people go to HUGE trouble, not to mention expense, to make a forgery. It looks like the real thing but is in fact new, 'aged' and worthless.

Everything that God has planned for us to do is the real deal. It is priceless and of much worth to Him.

Don't waste your time working on a fake. Learn to know the difference between what has value and what is cheap and gone with the wind. Next time someone asks you to do something, pray it through; assess whether it smells like it has the sense of the eternal about it. If it doesn't, it ain't worth the paper its written on.

(The picture above shows Mr Henry Sandon MBE of the Antiques Roadshow - surely the nicest man ever to have touched a hideous figurine rabbit.)

Never say never - 8th September 2011

I have been very inspired by the recent story of Newcastle student Elsie Richardson, who, at 85, has just started her PhD.

This woman is no ordinary student. In the last 15 years she has obtained a degree AND a masters.
The mother of three missed out on the chance of further education when she was younger because of World War II.

At the age of 58, she retired from her job in insurance and turned her hand to volunteering for local groups and worked "very hard every day".

Elsie Richardson, who is Northumbria University's oldest student, is a real symbol of tenacity and hard work for those around her.

The grandmother, from High Heaton, battled against eight other students to win a bursary to study a PhD at Northumbria University. She said, "I thought 'they're sure to pick the youngsters, they're bright young things instead of an old fogey like me', however, I got it and I couldn't believe it, and I've never stopped working since."


Elsie enjoyed her degree saying, "Whenever (the other students) had spent all their money, I fed them and they used to come and have their dinner with me. Everywhere they took me, I went, and I've been to some funny places... I've been to parties where they've danced on tables! I had a wonderful three years doing my bachelors, I laughed the whole time."

After graduating with a bachelor's degree in human organisation at 73, she then became a qualified psychotherapist at 75 after completing a masters in post natal depression.

Studying has become more difficult over recent years as Mrs Richardson suffers from diabetes, arthritis and macular degenerative disease - which means she is losing her sight.

In May Mrs Richardson was about to go on a cruise with her daughter when she was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

However, after an operation in July, she has since got the all-clear.

She said: "I'm very lucky to have got over this cancer because they've told me it's completely cleared and they have no reason to believe it will come back."


Mrs Richardson is writing her thesis about older people's rights and their influence on policy making in the 21st Century.

"I say to anybody, it's never too late. Go and try it, you don't know what you can do until you try and nobody was more surprised than I was."

Dr Mick Hill, from Northumbria University, who has worked with Mrs Richardson, said: "Elsie is a remarkable student - but not only because of her age. [She is] a person with tremendous passion and enthusiasm for her subject matter. I know this is driven by her strong personal sense of advocacy for older people. She is a highly effective spokesperson for her generation."

Well, I read this article (on the BBC website) with real joy! Good on you Elsie!! What a greatly inspiring woman you are! If you can take on that kind of pressure at your age and fight off the opposition, you have really got something special!

It is never too late for us to achieve great things for God and the world we live in. Whether we have been asked to run a cake sale or a marathon, anything is possible when our strength is in Christ.

So if you are feeling burnt out, beaten down and washed up today, know this: God hasn't finished with you yet! There is a plan and it is a good one!

There are tables out there that have not been danced on yet.

The end of the sentence - 6th September 2011

This morning was the boys' first day back at school. On the way home I got so wet I had to remove all my clothes as soon as I got in the back door! I hoped that the builders in the house opposite were otherwise engaged as I peeled myself and Esther from our wet clothing.

The rain had come down so suddenly and then stopped again, just as quickly. We were dressed well in our rain coats, but the shower was just too powerful. We got soaked through.

It reminded me of an incident the other day when I was telling the children a story from the Bible. You will be familiar with the time that Jesus calmed the storm?

I explained that the disciples were afraid to die and thought that Jesus wasn't going to do anything to save them.
They woke Him up shouting, "Don't you care if we drown?!"

The children listened, wide-eyed and expectant as I told them that Jesus woke up, stood in the boat and, having berated his friends for their lack of faith, simply said two words; "BE STILL."

With that, the wind and the waves, (and the hearts of His friends) were calmed. Instantly.

One of the children suddenly asked me an amazing question.
"Mummy do you think that the disciples finished the sentence in their heads?"

I didn't know what he meant at first, so he explained.

".... You know, the bit from the old testament that says "Be still and know that I am God." Do you think that's what they were thinking?"

(How amazing are kids by the way?!!)

"Well, they may have remembered that Psalm," I said. "They had a lot of evidence that Jesus WAS God and I think they probably didn't have much choice but to marvel at the sudden stillness in the sea and the sky."

Jesus' friends were fisherman, not scholars. They may have known certain psalms and passages off by heart if they were good at going to the Synagogue...we won't ever know...
What we DO know is that WE know the rest of the sentence.

That makes a great deal of difference.

When you are in debt and someone tells you not to worry about it without having the power to cancel the debt, you will still worry.
If however, you are in debt and someone tells you not to worry because they have settled up with your creditors, at no cost to yourself, then you need worry no further.

Jesus does not say simply BE STILL... that is not the end of the sentence. He says BE STILL AND KNOW WHO I AM.... there is more to knowing Him than just peace and calm.

There is an awareness of the source... the knowing HE IS GOD bit.

Today, whatever you are facing, whatever storm you may be in, know that stillness and calm are a prayer away. I pray for you, as I pray for myself, that we will know the voice of Jesus saying over us...
BE STILL.... oh and by the way.... KNOW THAT I AM GOD.
That "I AM" part really matters.
Full stop.

Crouching Tiger - 5th September 2011

It may surprise you to learn that one of my favourite films was 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" a martial arts film made by Ang Lee a number of years ago. I loved the epic nature of the cinematography and the music. The plot-line was hilarious and far-fetched. But it was beauty itself on screen.

"Crouching Tiger, hidden dragon" is a literal translation of a chinese proverb that means the true character of a person is sometimes hidden and implicit.

I think the same can be said of sin.

When God speaks to Adam's son Cain in Genesis 4, He says this:


“Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

The word "crouching" here does not mean what we mean by that visual image. It means lying down prostrate. In other words, sin is not ready to pounce at you; it is ready to trip you up. It does nothing but lie in wait for you.

This is much more subtle isn't it?
It is harder to be on our guard against tripping up than it is to be ready for someone to pounce on us.

Today, be aware of the crouching tiger in your life. What is about to trip you up? Arrogance? Anger? Self pity? Judgement? Bitterness? Malice? Gluttony?

Be aware that the tiger is patient and is waiting just outside your door. As God says, "It desires to have you, but you must (and can) rule over it."
May you and I be tiger tamers today.

Well done you! - 31st August 2011

I like my comments from God to be like I have my steak: well done.

Recently, I have worked very hard on the children's ministry at church; setting up new systems, getting teams together, sorting teaching themes... I won't bore you with the detail!

Yesterday a friend came over and as we were chatting, she asked me a question.
"Do you feel thanked enough for what you have done?"
That is a funny one isn't it?

How often do we embark on things, projects and dreams and feel flat because people aren't clapping us on the back and throwing praises our way?

I responded that I do feel thanked and appreciated, yes. But when I was dwelling on this later, I realised something important. I don't think I mind that much who says thank you to me.

Don't get me wrong. It is always nice to have verbal praise and encouragement, but I don't actually NEED it. Reason being, I don't expect it will make all that much difference to me. I need to hear my 'well done's' from God. I can go for a whole month on one word of approval from Him.
If He says, "Ems you did that well!" I thrive on that and that is all I need.

I get so excited when I hear Him speak to me. I know He notices the little things I do that no-one else will ever see or know about. He sees the sacrifices and the longings. He knows it all.

I know that so many people are searching for approval, belonging and significance and never find it. It is because they are looking for it from people.
My friend, if you are looking for approval from your church or your friends or even your family, you will be sorely disappointed. People are just so unpredictable. God, however, well He is not at all. What He says, He means. Forever.
Seek His approval today in how you are running your family, what you are spending your money on, who you speak to and how you fill your diary. His approval is worth 100 of anyone else's.

Prayer changes destinies - 27th August 2011

I read this in my UCB notes today and have copied it here wholesale...

...Pour out your heart... for... your... children... Lamentations 2:19
When George McCluskey started a family, he decided to invest one hour every day in prayer because he wanted his children to follow Christ. Then he expanded his prayers to include his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Every day between 11am and noon he prayed for the next three generations. As the years went by his two daughters committed their lives to Christ and married men who went into the ministry. These two couples produced four girls and one boy. Each of the girls married a minister and the boy became a pastor. The first two children born to this generation were both boys. After leaving secondary school, the two cousins chose the same college and became roommates. During their second year one boy decided to go into the ministry. The other didn't. He undoubtedly felt lots of pressure to continue the family legacy, but he chose instead to go his own way and pursue his interest in psychology. He earned his doctorate and eventually wrote books for parents that became bestsellers. Eventually he started a radio programme that was heard around the world each day. The man's name? James Dobson. So now you know the story of George McCluskey! He was just an ordinary man, but his prayers had an extraordinary effect on much of the world. If you are a parent or a grandparent, the Word for you today is, 'Arise, cry out in the night... pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your ... children.'

What an incredible testimony!
I urge you, as I urge myself, to pray for our children!

For health and strength... - 25th August 2011

When we were children my mother taught us to sing a song which we used as a grace before our meals. It had a six part harmony and it was my job to start it off:

"For health and strength
and daily food
we praise Your name
O Lord"

My confident little soprano voice rang out without ever really stopping to think about the words. Those words came back to me today.

Today I do not have health or strength. I am exhausted and I feel very sorry for myself. Yesterday I was running upstairs carrying my screaming daughter - trying to find one of the dummies that hide themselves in various places around our house. Tom was on his way down the stairs. Awkwardly I turned to avoid him and felt something pop in my calf. I was suddenly in deep pain. (I won't say "agony" because I have given birth a couple of times.) But it was very sore indeed.
Fortunately I had a friend there and her husband was coming for tea so at least I wasn't on my own.

I rang my Doctor brother who informed me after a couple of questions and over-the-phone-tests, that it was likely that I have torn some of the fibres in my calf. Youch.

I got to the shower this morning with the aid of a cricket bat. I cannot stand for long and have to walk very flat-footedly to avoid searing pain.

I think this may well be God's way of getting me to rest and slow down.

I hear you God.

Psalm 116 - 24th August 2011

I have just spent a very precious time on the phone to my lovely friend Tom who, as I mentioned last week, has been so ill recently and battling with his addiction to alcohol.

We sobbed our way through the conversation as we talked about what God was doing in him. I told him that God has a perfect plan for his life and that He is a rescuing and freeing God. Through his tears, he agreed.

"Ems," he said slowly, the Diazepam coursing through his veins and slowing his reactions and voice, "Can I read you something?"
" Of course!" I said. "What is it?"

"The other day I came across my Bible. I haven't read it for a month and it just opened at this Psalm. I could not believe how relevant it was for me. Can I read it to you please?"

With that, Tom falteringly read the following verses of Psalm 116


1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“LORD, save me!”

We were both crying hard as the phone went dead. (His signal is very poor.) I called him back straightaway and read him these verses...


8 For you, LORD, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

I made a deal with Tom. It is this: when he is better (there is no IF in my heart) we will seek God together and write a song based on this psalm. Surely there could be no more powerful testimony of God's love and faithfulness than this??

I also asked Tom to think about becoming my piano player when I tour the album. He was delighted and quick to accept.

I have no money, no plans and nothing concrete... except a desire to serve God. But Tom is cool with that. He has just been on the brink of death. Anything that says thank you to God is cool with him!

His final words before we prayed together were really wonderful. "Ems, I have really learnt from this. It is so freeing to know how much I need others and God." (This was the gist of his words any way...)

God, you are faithful to heal and restore. Please heal Tom and help him never again to return to a life of addiction, desperation and anguish. Show him how to rely on You and please turn all that has happened to him into a story for Your glory.

Amen

Communion - 23rd August 2011

Each Sunday during August Jon and I have been helping to lead our family services at church.

Whilst I have enjoyed doing this immensely, it has not been easy to pull off with the children all off school and so much else to prepare and do. I felt very tired going into last week - for obvious reasons!
But God really ministered to me through the time of family communion.
I was leading.
(Isn't it often the case that the one who gets most out of a talk is the preacher?!)
Well, I don't know what most of the others got out of the communion time... but I was really blessed by it.

I simply explained (primarily for the children's benefit) that Jesus' friends did not know what was coming, but He did. I explained that Jesus' friends did not understand what was about to happen, but He did.

To help them understand, He acted out his death with a loaf of unleavened bread and some wine.

It was the phrase "acted out" that got me (and a few others who were kind enough to come and share with me later)

It is hard to have communion and for it to be totally fresh. The words and the story can become all too common-place can't they?
But I was IN that room with Jesus as I was speaking. I could see His face and hear His voice.
I could sense the disciples disbelief, sadness and fear.

As I lifted up the bread and tore it apart I said that Jesus showed them with the bread what was about to happen to Him. It brought a lump to my throat and a gratefulness to my spirit.

Thank you Jesus for dying for me. Even though You know that I am so often a Judas. I so often betray You and leave You out of my life. I so often hand your rule and reign in my life to something or someone else that feels more "urgent" and pressing. I let my work or my children, my projects or my dreams push You away. I am so sorry Lord.

Forgive me Jesus and teach me how to be in communion with You more deeply than ever today.

Thank you that You didn't just act it out with bread and wine, but with Your real body and your real blood. I love You for that... and for all You are.

Podcast - 20th August 2011

Hi there,
Sorry for the delay in getting this up here.
Some of you have asked about my recent preach. So here it is.
If you go to Ivy Church website on


http://www.ivymanchester.org/

and click on the itunes icon at the top right of the screen you can find the latest teaching from church in podcast form. They are all free to download.

My sermon is 31st July and is on the subject of Gehazi.
You will notice my lovely husband's recent talk up there too:)

Producing - 19th August 2011

Well, I have had a crazy last few days down in London, recording some overdubs for Open Heaven. The first evening I was very saddened to hear that one of my band had had a terrible last couple of weeks and got himself into a very bad way.

The next few days we had emotional phone calls with him, texts from people trying to help him and messages from his mother. God answered our prayers for him really dramatically. Members of his church arrived to visit him in hospital, got him discharged and have ended up looking after him in the crypt of the church for the last few days, on a round-the-clock basis. The body of Christ is truly an amazing thing!!

We sent his mum one of the tracks (the one I wrote for him) and she was very moved by the words... Again, God is so good isn't He?

I have discovered a new passion/skill in the last couple of days which has surprised me. I had no idea that I can produce (as in "come up with good ideas for") music recordings. But as I sat with the other producer, I started to 'hear' other parts, and other instruments to be added. It was really exciting and creative. He was very encouraging and really valued my opinion and nurtured me through the process. A couple of the others also noticed this new thing beginning in me and commented on it.

I'm nearly 39. I know myself well. And yet, I had NO idea I had this in me - mainly because I don't read music and so didn't think I was capable.. but actually if you have people around you who trust you and can interpret your noises, poor vocabulary and gestures (!) you are all set! I was genuinely amazed at what God did with the songs.

We were massively blessed when one of our pals, Raul, who played on the last album too, agreed to come for a couple of hours and lay down some horn tracks. He totally stormed every song and it was beautiful to hear him play again. (It blows me away that people were willing to play on Open Heaven for free and then texted me afterwards to THANK me for the privilege. Again, the body of Christ is an amazing thing!!)


So I am back in Manchester. I feel as flat as a pancake. Not to mention tired. But I got this text from the producer today:

"You have had two days of creative work, that sometimes makes you feel good, but also tired. Maybe a bit nostalgic that you have left one of your babies here (ur album) But we will look after it very well."

I praise God that He is looking after that 'baby' for me and that He gave me such amazing people to love, value and understand me.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it:)

Unexpected church - 13th August 2011

Yesterday we went to the National Media Museum in Bradford - an epic and excellent building with amazing exhibits for children and adults. One of the galleries that grabbed me had nothing in it but photographs of urban churches.
Taken in London between 2002 and 2006 photographer David Spero has documented some highly unusual christian centres.

I bought a book of these pictures, fascinated with what they symbolise. I quote, "These are buildings that feature none of the usual monumental architecture of the traditional church with its overt symbolism of status and power.

Temporary, semi-permanent and often un-consecrated, the churches are where we would least expect to find them. Located in industrial estates, shopping parades, houses, cinemas, above pubs and commercial properties they reveal a contingent architecture of buildings that were never designed to be places of worship."

I love the whole idea of someone just planting a church above a hairdressers or in a cafe or a school! I also love some of the unlikely and incredibly unfriendly looking sites chosen for churches to be. If Jesus were here, he would want us to plant churches in areas of poverty and degradation.


On the back of his book it says: "Spero's work acknowledges that the divine may exist in the most unlikely places and testifies to our enduring need to seek out a state of grace."

I would argue with one word in that last sentence. The word MAY. Other than that, it had my full endorsement.
David Spero, I salute you for making me think.

Insult to injury - 12th August 2011

Last night I visited my lovely hairdresser, Greg. Half way through cutting my hair, having just asked me a how I was doing, he suddenly said,
"I've just had a deja-vu moment! I feel as though I have been in this conversation with you before!"

I went back over what I had just said to him.

"I need to rest." Is what I had said.
I laughed, "Maybe it's a sign that I really DO need to rest, if you feel you've heard it before!"

"What is that deja-vu thing anyway?" he asked, "Isn't it that a part of your brain just shuts down for a minute and sleeps, or dies, or something, you know, when its had enough?"

I laughed even harder. "So basically, you are telling me that I bore you so much that part of you died in order to cope with talking to me?" I joked.

Now it was his turn to laugh.

Obviously, I twisted his words for comic effect...and I wasn't in any way offended by our hilarious chat. But some of us, some of you reading this, ARE offended. Right now. If I asked you, and you were honest, you would say that something is niggling away at you deep down.

Someone has made you feel annoyed, small, angry or worthless. They have insulted you somehow and injured you. You are carrying it and wearing it like dirty clothes that smell bad, however much perfume you try to spray over them.

It may not have been deliberate. But a person who gets accidentally run over will be as injured as much as person mown down deliberately. Offence still hurts.
So what are you feeling and why? And more importantly, what are you going to do with that offence?

I remember when I was once working for a large organisation and sat in a meeting where it was clear I did not know all that was going on. You could have cut the atmosphere with a blunt saw. Tense tempers were flared. Afterwards, I asked a colleague what was happening. She very wisely commented that a number of the people in the room had been "quick to take offence" at something and left it at that.

I wondered about that phrase, "quick to take offence."
Am I quick, or slow?
Do I look for it, and therefore find it, or do I give people grace and the benefit of the doubt?

There are a number of times in scripture where we are taught that God is slow to anger and abounding in love. In other words, He is slow to take offence. SLOW. He is King of the whole universe and sees all the sin and wrong-doing and pain we cause Him and others, and yet, He chooses to be SLOW to anger. Not because He is not capable of anger, but because He truly understands the consequences of that emotion and action in Himself. God's anger is not to be messed with.

In the third episode of the West Wing series 1, Jed Bartlett the president is faced with an issue. A US military airplane is shot down. His chiefs of staff advise him to act with a proportional response. He is angry and says "I want to blow them out of the sky with the fury of God's own thunder." He asks," What is the virtue of a proportional response? Won't they be expecting that?"

He eventually calms down and decides to go with the advice. "To act like a responsible superpower."

That is what God is like too. He could use proportionate anger in response to everything wrong we do. Instead He uses disproportionate love, grace and forgiveness. The kind we don't deserve.

What insults you more than anything else?
Is it unnecessary swearing?
Is it when people belittle you?

For me it is simple. It is being ignored. I hate it more than anything else.
I used to really get angry and hurt when people did not respond to texts and emails. Not so much any more. I try and think about their world and their feelings and their needs.

The poet AE Housman (1859-1936) reportedly kept a notebook in which he jotted down useful insults and unpleasant remarks that occurred to him.

I don't want to be like that. Do you?
I don't want to keep a mental or emotional list of things that bother me and recite and rehearse them in my spirit.

If I am hurt about something or upset with someone, I tell them. They may not like it. I may not like it. But that is the precedent we are set in scripture.

Let's not be those who are quick to take offence. Let us be slow to be offended today.

I leave you with a bitter-sweet quote from Sammy Davis Junior who died in 1990.

"Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to get insulted."

I am off for a rest.

Anyone got deja-vu?

Clean up - 11th August 2011

Yesterday we went to Altincham and noticed four large security men outside the Asda home store in Hi- VIz jackets. They weren't taking any chances, even though they were miles away from the trouble spots.

The BBC reported that heavy, persistent rain was part of the reason that Manchester was quieter last night. Thank you God for precipitation! People also met yesterday to help clean up the streets.

I also believe that our prayers and fasting have been effective in the heavenlies!! Thank you to everyone who got on their knees for peace here.

The BBC site added that the police statement read, "There has continued to be tremendous support from people across Greater Manchester who are providing us with information and updates about any concerns.

People are continuing to phone through to the freephone hotline 0800 092 0410 and more than a quarter of a million hits on the Flickr site featuring images of wanted people.

A major police investigation is under way to identify and put people before the courts.

They have worked throughout the night to deal with individuals, a number of whom have already been jailed.

Detectives are working through the information but they have hundreds of photographs and footage to work through and more than 200 scenes of crime that are being managed."

Two hundred scenes of crime! What a crazy amount of needless damage and waste! And yet, I think God is at work, even in the midst of it all.

People are starting to question if it is right that messenger devices such as the Blackberry one are a good idea... people are starting to question why young people feel so bored that upturning a red wheelie bin in front of a police van gives them joy... people are going to start asking "What can we do?" and then next question will always be, "Who can help us?"

ENTER: THE CHURCH, that's who.

It is not enough to blame the parents... I have worked in enough schools to have seen my fair share of poor parenting. But it's not always their fault- not exclusively. I shall never forget Kenny - the little boy who broke into my boot (and was trapped inside) and his father. The exchange between them when I righteously deposited Kenny back home was this,

"Son, I didn't know you could do Toyota's too!" (Clear pride on his face)

This guy was not well-parented himself. How could he be a good parent? It was never modelled for him.

As a church we need to model society. We need to model how to love, how to listen and how to give. If we don't, people will have absolutely no reason to learn anything from us or let us be part of their solutions.

God, teach us today how to model your love for your people, for looters and loners, trouble-makers, window breakers, insolent, silent, rude and leud youths. Teach us how to reach those who you always reach out to with your unbreakable, unshakable and unshockable love.

Help us not be an impotent church full of our own self-importance, but a church of loving, active revolutionary life-changers who make a difference where we are, to all we meet.

Amen

Pray for Rioted Manchester - 10th August 2011

Last night we saw the copy-cat riots take place in our city. Children as young as 9 were alleged to be out on the streets with the looters, enjoying stealing goods, destroying both privately and publicly- owned property.

As I have been praying into this today I was reminded that two months ago a couple of us planted scriptures in Piccadilly Gardens... "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it," was one I planted into the ground.

I still think this is true today. Manchester is GOD'S. Good to remember and trust. We have nothing to fear.

But why are young people taking to the streets?

In my opinion, for many reasons:
1. They can. No-one is stopping them.
2. They have nothing better to do.
3. Gang mentality rules... "If he is going, I will go too. Innit."
4. The computer games that are available for young people and children are increasingly violent and celebrate street crime.
5. Access to social media sites and messenger techniques to gather trouble-makers.
6. Poor economic climate and lack of hope for a job.
7. Poor role models and discipline.
8. Labelling by society as "mindless" which is untrue and unhelpful, leading to a "If I am called that, I might as well act like that mentality"

No-one is mindless - we can be thought-less, but NEVER mind-less. God created everyone with a MIND!!! Its what we do with it that matters!


This was NOT people not thinking at all. It was young people thinking very definitely indeed about money, themselves and having a laugh.

So, as Manchester starts the clean up, lots of people will be talking and blaming and pontificating.

Who is to blame? Who should carry the can?
I read something this morning by a guy that said, "I will not help to clean up my city. That is the Government's job. No more cuts."

Sheesh!
Others are, of course, fully intending to travel by tram and bus (now fully restored services) into town to meet at Piccadilly Gardens (FUNNY THAT) to start the clean up operation.

Another person said,
"What I don't get is that people with £100 trainers and £300 smart phones are complaining about poverty."

I want to suggest three things:

1. As the church, we have never been MORE needed. We can and should lead the way in being part of the solution to this problem.

2. We need to help people understand that what they watch has a huge affect on their behaviour. Many of the games available on consoles today (such as Grand Theft Auto) are about the destruction of property; others celebrate street crime.

Animators are given awards for their realism. Police, parents, youth leaders and communities may not be quite so willing to applaud this realism today. I don't blame the makers of such games for riots in Salford, but I am certain with every fibre of my being, that they don't help society care for itself.

3. We need not just to be berating the rioting, but to point to good news stories and charities that genuinely transform lives like The Message, Ngage and ROC. We can't just join others in moaning about bad news, or our dystopian streets, we must show GOOD news in action.

Join with me in praying and fasting urgently for our city. Good will come of this as ordinary people rise up and bring their dust pans, brushes and energy to bear. Let's pray against more crime, and against communities taking action which may escalate the problem.

Pray specifically for:
1. Great conversations to spring up around the city that highlight people's need for God and His ways.
2. Churches across Manchester to stand up together in unity.
3. The birth of a new heart in Manchester to be the solution to the problems for young people across our nation.
4. Prayer and intercession to rise up.
5. God's peace to descend.
6. The emergency services to be well-led and to recover well from the last few days and plan ahead.
7. For the troubles to subside.


Another scripture we planted in Piccadilly Gardens was from Isaiah 61. We planted the part about the Oaks of righteousness, but check this out in context:

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

Praise God for His amazing word!

DO NOT BE AFRAID MANCHESTER. THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU.

Awkward - 9th August 2011

Awkwardness makes other people feel awkward. It's catching, like 'flu. If I am awkward in a situation then it will not allow other people around me to feel at ease. Just try having a panic attack in a lift. You'll see what I mean!

Many people are awkward socially. They just can't help it. They feel ill-at-ease around certain types of people, or in certain situations- large gatherings, small parties, dinner settings, formal occasions... we all have our 'habitat of awkwardness.'

So what is yours?
Where do you feel most uncomfortable and why?
I am not talking about feeling scared - like suddenly being surrounded by a gang of loud-mouthed youths on a train, but awkward - like you don't know how to behave and what to do...

I can remember a number of times at Uni especially when I felt 'out of my depth' socially. I had a collection of friends, some of whom were jolly well-heeled and Daddy DID have a plane, a polo field and a Condo on a beach somewhere...Small etiquettes such as not cutting the nose off the Brie, or not placing your knife in the butter were quickly learnt. I was a vicar's daughter whose idea of a good meal was a hastily prepared Spag Bol. Steak Tartare was not on my mother's repertoire of catering. A fact I am more than pleased about. Raw minced cow is not something I relish. Not without a LOT of relish.

I think the most awkward time for most of us is when we are teenagers; when your body is ambushing you, trying its best to be something it isn't, you are still trying to work out why you are covered in spots and why your hair looks like you've smeared it liberally with the cheapest lard Netto sell...

I was amused to read this today...

The word 'adolescent' comes from one of two Latin verbs spelt adoleo. One means 'to make bigger' and the other means 'to emit a smell'.

That is FUNNY!

Does that mean that putting them both together you get... "making a bigger smell"??

Whatever your social standing or background, it is possible to feel comfortable with everyone. I am learning that it isn't what I say, or what I do that will allow others around me to feel at ease. It is largely who I am and whose presence I carry. Same for you.

If you are indwelt by the spirit of the living God, (He who fashioned the whole of the universe, including those that you are currently with) then you have the right to talk to anyone... be they chic or sheikh, freak or fake, meek or mean, dirty or clean, humble or loud, shy or proud, famous or hermit, you need no other permit...

Just say the name of Jesus in your head, or out loud instead.
He is the reason that I no longer feel I need to feel or make others feel, awkward.

That feels nice.
Thank you God.

It wasn't me Guv! - 8th August 2011

How good are you at taking the blame when you need to? Or do you always try and deflect anything that comes your way? My children (if that's not deflecting the subject rather too quickly myself) are amazing at this skill...
"It's not my fault that I spilt my soup, Ben was making me laugh...!"

" I didn't leave my shoes out in the rain. Tom forgot to tell me they were still in the garden!"

My in-laws were staying this weekend and read me a hilarious clip from their newspaper which was along these lines:

"Horse and trap driver John Mulvenna told police that his horse Fred went through a red light because he was colour blind."

This man was later charged with drink driving. But he had the audacity to blame HIS HORSE for going through a red light.

I can just imagine the conversation...

"No! NO! Occifer... you see Fred's... not got his special glasses on today and he can't tell the difference.... between a green and a red light, can you my boy?"

It is all too easy to blame someone else when we fluff things up. This week I made a decision. I made it knowing it would have some consequences. It turns out that it might not have been the best call. Am I going to own up to God about it or try and find a 'scapehorse" to blame?

I think I'll own up, after all, God knows it anyway.

I went through a bit of a red light. I'm sorry God. It was me.

Thank you - 7th August 2011

As I am not sure who recently sent me an ENORMOUS bunch of Sunflowers, I am just writing here to say Thank you.
They are truly beautiful.
I am not sure if you knew they are my favourite summer flower (hence my website being covered in them...) but whether you did or didn't, I was very grateful to receive them.
THANK YOU whoever you are.

Burnt out? - 4th August 2011

I had the great privilege of preaching at Church on Sunday. It was wonderful to be able to share with those there something of the story of Gehazi - one of the lesser-known characters in the Bible - Elisha's servant.

At the end of the service, I used an illustration that my brother had told me about; that of three matches.
The first match was unlit, signifying those who feel they have yet to fulfil their potential. The second was of a match that was burning, standing for those who felt 'on fire' for God and doing what they were called to do. The third was of a spent match, symbolising those who felt used up, burnt out and struggling with life.

I asked people which one of these images most resonated for them at that time. It was interesting to see an almost equal number of hands go up for each category.
In Exodus 3: 2 we read

'...the bush burned... yet was not consumed.'
In the story of the burning bush, the plant is on fire, but it is not being destroyed. It was burning, but it didn't burn out. This is a key principle in our Christian lives. It is possible to be on fire for God without getting damaged and without hurting other people in turn.

We all know some people who once yearned for the things of God who have since burned out and vanished from our small groups, churches and sometimes, even lives. Herbert J. Freudenberger, a psychologist, describes such burnout as 'fatigue brought about by devotion to a cause that failed to produce the expected reward'. So how can we avoid burning out completely?

I think we need be intentional about seeking out God's input. 'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault...' (James 1:5 NIV). God is an expert; we must consult Him.

I am glad that God gives generously to me, and doesn't choose to find fault in the process. He doesn't count the cost of the exchange. (Even though almost all of it is one-sided!) He gives to me because He loves me, however I am and however I feel.

How do you feel today? Which kind of match do you most relate to?
I shared with people on Sunday that I had often felt like a spent match, but one that God has used in many ways. God has drawn some wonderful images with the charcoal of my life. He continues to amaze me with how He lights me, even when I feel as though I can't be lit again.

Allow God to draw close to your today and relight your fire, so that, as 'Take That and Lulu' once sang "Your love is a burning desire."

Tidy drawers - 3rd August 2011

My house is currently on the verge of driving me insane. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but its so untidy as the children keep playing with stuff and I can't keep up with Esther's emptying drawer habits. She empties clean washing baskets and mixes them with dirty and I am left in a muddle.
Sometimes life can feel like that and it can be hard to separate the wood from the forest.

Many years ago a friend of mine told me about the "Tidy Drawer" policy of life.

We all know that a tidy home helps a tidy mind... but what if your life involves actual people and children and more specifically MY children? What then?

Well, this is the policy. If stressed and feeling wound up by the mess around you go and tidy your worst drawer. Its only a symbol, but its a start. This morning I tackled one in my kitchen. The children are running round with bouncy balls and party blowers, screaming with laughter. They have made mess in EVERY room. But I have a tidy drawer! So I am happy.
However messy your emotions feel or your mind is, take time today to give one tiny aspect of that to God and ask Him to deal with it permanently and swiftly.

I will pray with you that you experience freedom as that part of your life takes on a new sense of order and peace.

From a noisy crazy house, my love to you today, wherever you are and however your'e feeling!

Ems

Zoo - 2nd August 2011

My kids make me laugh. And cry. And feel very tired. And elated. And sometimes with not so much as a breath in between!

School holidays can be challenging when you have little money - very few people who are not on holiday in an exotic location, and four very different personalities to cater for. But I do my best.

This holiday I decided that our project should be THE HANCOCK ZOO. So I went out and bought the children (at inordinate expense) a whole load of plastic animals. We then spent five days creating a huge zoo on a large piece of plasterboard from bits of an old toy farmyard, some bricks and a few other bizarre things. (Memo to you : if ever you want to make a nest for a chimpanzee baby, an egg poaching pod from Lakeland is remarkably good, especially as it comes with ready made holes for hanging purposes!! Florist's raffia makes good 'straw' and a computer mousemat makes a good 'pond'... But you probably won't ever need to know that.)

As we have been making this zoo and doing all sorts of other things connected with it, I have been fascinated to see how the children have their favourite animals. Esther is hugely taken with a large shire horse (I know not strictly 'ZOO-esque but she LOVED it!) She strokes it and pats it and talks to it. She picks up other animals and makes them kiss the horse. She puts it in the stable, and takes it out again. All the time saying "Ahh! Cute" in an approving way.

Ben is in love with the baby chimps. He puts them in very funny places and has great fun pretending they are being naughty. (I wonder where he gets his ideas from?!)

Sam loves the male Lion with its huge mane and Tom is rather keen on the female African Bush elephant whom we have called 'Zuberi' which means 'Strong" in an African language. I can't recall which.

I think what has really given me joy is watching how they have learnt to like one another's favourites. This is surely one of the most important lessons to learn in life; that some things not precious to you, are incredibly precious to someone else.

Sam loves watching Esther cooing over the shire horse and she in turn has learnt to love the elephant who she was terrified of on day one due to the large aggressive-looking tusks. How lovely that the kids are learning to see what matters to others.

Certain things really matter to me. Other things I can let go. I am still learning that some of the things I don't care about a jot, are things that others need and hold very dear. To belittle that thing is to belittle them.

So today, let us ask God for empathy that shows you what matters to those you love. Then ask God to help you to value that for them and to bless them in your care for them.

It might be something simple like having a cuppa made for them without them asking, or choosing not to check a text when they speak to you. It might be treating them to a bunch of flowers or just a little smile across a room. God knows what our favourite things are and what we need. Lets be on the look out to listen to Him and bless others.

Lots of sky - 29th July 2011

Last night, Jon took one look at me and suggested i sit down...
He found a cooking programme for me in which Rick Stein was travelling through Spain. He came across a flat, unremarkable stretch of country with some remarkable people in it.

One such man was a vineyard owner who spoke passionately about the grapes he grows and the wine he makes.

As part of the conversation he declared,

"We are miles away from the sea. We are miles away from the mountains, but we are very near the sky."

I thought about this as a spiritual principle.

It is certainly how I feel at the moment!
We can sometimes sense that we are a long way from visible clues on the horizon and it can feel as though we may not be making much progress towards certain goals we have set ourselves.

Have we
Written that book yet?
Moved from that city?
Changed that attitude?
Moved away from that mindset?
Worked through that issue?


Even if we haven't, the truth is, that you and I have "lots of sky" and spiritual hope and blessing above us and that should bring us great comfort and peace.

Sparks fly - 27th July 2011

A couple of our friends, Zeb and Theo, who are twins, have an amazing band called "Always Awake." The other night they were over singing us one of their new songs "All the world lights up." I wish I had it recorded for you to download. It is quite beautiful.

I felt it lift the atmosphere in the house.
The other worship leaders who were here for a meal were listening too and we all joined in and sung the chorus over each other a few times.

This morning I gave the children pancakes for a special start-of-the-holidays- breakfast. As I was cooking, they started to sing the song - which to my knowledge, they had never heard. They sang the tune accurately and the words nearly correctly...


"I can see sparks fly
I can see sparks fly
I can see sparks fly
with your love..."


I was stunned.

"How do you know that song guys?" I asked them.

"I don't know," said Sam. "I think I heard it the other night when the guys came over."

The fact that they all remembered this song two days later, having only heard it whilst half asleep made me smile.

Sometimes our spirits are at work when we are unaware of it.

Lets give God some time today to break in and minister to our souls.

When sparks of the spirit fly, who knows what they will light up and catch on fire?

Influence - 26th July 2011

Today I met a rather sweet couple. I had taken the children to a cafe after school to celebrate the end of the term. Yay for us! The second we arrived I apologised that their quiet cuppa was now going to be interrupted.

"How lovely!" she said, beaming.
"I had three boys and then I adopted a girl. I love little ones!"

Good. Thought I.

She looked approvingly at my noisy rabble. "Aren't they fabulous?" she said, addressing the owner of the cafe.

"Oh yes!" she remarked, "I love having them here. They are always so lovely and well-behaved."

My children, of course, sat up straight, ate their cake beautifully (with forks) and spoke sweetly to one another, as if butter wouldn't melt for a full four minutes. Then it wore off.

Half way through another conversation about the importance of discipline, Esther (who was knee deep in a piece of chocolate cake bigger than her head) wiped her face with her brown-stained hands. She looked as though she had fallen into a muddy puddle, head first.

She turned around and got the attention of our near neighbours at the adjoining table, squealing with pleasure at her chocolately-ness. She then wiped her hands on the highchair and herself, making pleasing spirals.

The couple, in turn, enjoyed the scene and rather than berating me for allowing a one year that much sugar, or minding the three boys addressing them in loud voices about various matters, they told me a wonderful story.

The man, now retired, was a teacher of Special needs children for many years. This weekend, he received a wedding invitation from a boy he had last seen and heard of 26 years ago.

This boy (now man) had searched and searched until he had found this beloved teacher... the man who had taught him 26 years ago that he was worth something and would one day be loved. Openly weeping as she told me this tale, and with me listening with tears in my eyes too, I thought how amazingly we can influence people for good. We can be the difference between someone rubbishing themselves or writing themselves off and seeing value and worth within.

As I heard this lovely story and how this dear couple had sobbed their way through the letter that came with the invitation, I realised too what this had meant to this retired teacher. He may have thought on occasion that his job meant little more than stopping other children in the school bully his class (something his wife told me took him two solid weeks of name-calling to stop.)

But 26 years on, he knows different. He is remembered in the life of that man who fought against many difficulties as a hero, a champion and a giver of hope.

Oh God! Please make me like that with people I come into contact with too. Help me always to be so positive that people feel and act towards themselves as though they had just heard the very words of Jesus speaking over them.
Amen

The Eve of sin - 22nd July 2011

I read an online article today about Eve and all the 'firsts' associated with her. She was obviously the first woman and the first wife...but, and this is something I have never thought about before, Eve was also the first and only woman born without sin.

Roman Catholics would argue that Mary was born without sin. I am sorry to offend my Catholic readers (and I know I have some!) but I can find no Biblical evidence for a sinless human being - even the mother of Christ - to make a doctrine out of. The Bible is clear that ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Poor Eve! I can remember listening to stories about her in Sunday School and thinking "If I had been her, I would have obeyed God and not eaten the fruit!" Of course this is a lie. You and I would both have rushed to it and greedily taken it, just like we do every time we walk deliberately into something God has asked us not to do.

Eve gets a very bad press. But I would have received the same in her position. I know I would. I would have been responsible, not her. I would have been in every artist's picture- in a land of strategically-placed bushes, reaching for the wrong thing.

This got me thinking and veering away from the article I read...Eve was not born without the ABILITY to sin, but she was born without the LEGACY of sin in her life. She did not know sin, or know what it was to live in separation from God. She did not know what she was trifling with, or what the eternal consequences of her seemingly 'tiny act' of disobedience would be.
Similarly we don't know what the consequences of our own actions are. Our inability to obey may have massive impact on other's lives. We must be aware of our need to keep very short accounts with our Father!

Coming directly from the hand of God, Eve had an advantage no other woman has ever had; she was pure and holy, with the divine image of her Father totally unimpaired. It was not watered-down by genetics. It was not added-to by layers of flawed humanity. No wonder Adam was wowed by her!! She must have been a total stunner, inside and out.

And yet, whilst she was created sinless, she became the world’s first sinner, and introduced sin to her offspring, and thus, all since her are born in sin and shaped by iniquity.

I was thinking what we would LOOK like physically if we had no sin in us spiritually. I think sin affects how we look and feel, it affects how we dress and eat. It affects how we walk and give birth and sing and cook. In other words, sin affects everything. We are just so used to it being there that we don't realise or notice.

The best and holiest people I know are sinful. The kindest and sweetest of loyal friends are full of the stuff. Even the most holy man I have ever known wept at his inability to please God.

Fresh from the hand of God with unmatchable grace and beauty of body and mind, Eve made a choice. It turned out it was a bad one.
Sin and ruin followed, and paradise was surrendered for a world of thorns, thistles and tears.

Aren't you glad that God knew what to do about that?!

Praise God for sending Jesus! Praise God that He loves you in spite of the fact that even if you could relive your life again, you would probably still sin in the same way at the same time! Praise God that as the old chorus puts it:
"There's a way back to God,
from the dark powers of sin.
There's a door that is open
and you may go in
At Calvary's cross
is where you begin
when you come as a sinner to Jesus."

Father, I confess my sinfulness again to You. I tell you today that I am nothing without you. I am nothing without Your mercy and forgiveness. I am nothing without the freedom You bring. Thank you for the realisation again today that in Eve's place, I would have done EXACTLY the same thing. I would have eaten that fruit and lied about it and tried to cover it up. Please show me ways in which I do that in my own life now. Show me how I displease You and where I can be changed by Your presence and Your power. Show me the fruit I am running towards and please may it be on the right tree.

Amen

Outgoing leadership - 21st July 2011

Last night I hung out with Kristian Tucker who is our outgoing (in both senses) Children's pastor at church. We had a ball. And a chocolate lolly. We went to the Trafford centre and I bought him some comfy man slippers and an egg timer.
It was fun.
And before you write to me offering medication (because of the slippers and egg timer) they were for a talk he is giving this week.

Its lovely to just 'get' someone, to be able to see some of their heart and their passions. I feel like that about both Kris and his gorgeously, gorgeous wife, Pippa.

What amazing people there are on the earth! And thank you Jesus that I know some of them!

Like some other people we've connected with strongly, they are moving this week. Down south. Boo!:(

What has been lovely though is to see that we are deeply connected in spite of the change coming. I kind of feel we will know their kids. Well.
I do pray so. (insert nostalgic sigh- wow I am getting old.)

Kris and I were talking about 'family'... the kind of family that church is and should be and was dreamt up by God. And we talked a bit about leadership too.

Family isn't always comfortable, or easy or fun. Likewise leadership. But it is God's way of ensuring that we are cared for and can care for others. It is His first line of defence against the enemy.. " the gates of hell cannot prevail against it." It is His best idea. And yet sometimes churches are dull, boring, and downright unholy. They hold life-sapping meetings, pointless activities and maintain relationships that God finds disgusting. The pastors get sucked into a 'new building' and not a 'new disciples' mentality, the elders spend all their time returning emails from grumpy members who don't like the lighting or the colour of the walls.

And yet church, THE church, is God's. He LOVES her. So must we. That word was MUST.

I remember once criticising the church I was in very heavily to the speaker and Salvationist, Phil Wall. He was very understanding, but came back with a never-to-be-forgotten-retort. It went something like this: "Ems, be kind to your leaders. Running a church is sometimes not fun in any way. It is tough and painful and lonely. You have the power to change that feeling for those in leadership over you."

I have never once since then desired church leadership for myself! I have also tried my hardest to encourage and build up and protect and pray for those in church leadership that I know.

As Kristian and Pippa move on I will be praying for them that God provides all their needs according to His riches; that they will know His heart and trust in His plans for their lives. They will be sorely missed (not least by me) but they will go on to build God's kingdom on a beach, in a home and in a University "daan sarf".

I praise God for who they are, all they have done.

I love you guys. You have, well and truly, won your place in my hero bag.

The 53 year old reminder - 18th July 2011

A year or so ago, we stayed at a friends' house for 10 days. I was heavily pregnant and was grateful each night to fall into bed. Their mattress was one of these memory foam things that 'remembers' your shape (alarmingly in my case) and is meant to aid restful sleep.

I think the shape of my pregnant body, so frightened me that the memory of it became the stuff of nightmares. I did not sleep well!


Sometimes we need things to aid our memory in a positive way; perhaps a photograph or a letter, a memento or a journal entry. It is hard to remember some of the most important things in life without the benefit of such things. The day of my Wedding, one of my friends told me to write down my recollections of the day. I was so grateful to her as I now have a journal account of my emotions, what was said and by whom. It is very precious to me.

I spent the weekend with my family as it was my parent's 45th Wedding Anniversary. It was lovely to see them chatting to people who were at their wedding and sharing the photograph album around, chatting and laughing about old times. Memories of such special things are to be treasured! We built a few new memories too as we took the children (minus Esther who went to her Godmother) out with us all as a celebration for a Teppanyaki meal. Watching their little faces, I knew that they (and we) would never forget the theatre and spectacle of food and knives being so expertly juggled and thrown.

I was fascinated to read this morning that a love letter to a US college student from the girlfriend who was later to become his wife, is finally on its way to him - 53 years after it was written in 1958.

The letter surfaced in a Pennsylvanian university mailroom earlier this month. It was addressed to Clark C Moore, who has since changed his name to Muhammad Siddeeq, making it hard to trace him.

Apparently, a friend saw a TV report about it and contacted the sorting office. Mr Siddeeq, 74, says he is still eager to read it, despite now being divorced from the lady in question.

He said, rather amusingly, that if he didn't get that package within the next 53 years, he would call to complain!

I was wondering about the emotions contained in that love letter and how it would make him feel on reading it. Would it make him grieve again and open up old wounds? Would it cause him to feel bitter at something lost or grateful for someone gained? I have no idea.

Memory plays an important role in the canon of Scripture. There are many instances where God reveals Himself to people as the God of their ancestors... or where He reminds them of His past miracles, faithfulness and goodness.

There are days, months or maybe even years when we need to live off the truths of the past. You may be in one of these periods right now; life may be uncertain and you may be struggling to hear the voice or the reassurances of the God who loves you.

Perhaps what you need to do is to journey back a few years to the 'love letters' of the past; to the old truths you clung to to get you where you are today. We are not called to LIVE in the past of course, but our past triumphs and pains can certainly inform us and help us in the present and the future.

God is the same, yesterday, today and for eternity. What He once was or said, He will say and be again. He never changes, but our memories of Him do. Help yourself today and go back through your life. Find something to praise Him for and DO IT!

God is waiting for your memory to be jogged and for your faith to rise again.

Immediate answered prayer - 13th July 2011

Yesterday was an a amazing day.
In the morning I was scheduled to have an interview with a lady from Premier Radio. We didn't end up recording anything but we had a really lovely chat about her background as a Catholic nun in Rome for 9 years...(!) and agreed to record next week.
Then a friend of mine texted me to say that she was praying about media coverage for me. I hadn't asked her to. She just felt that she should.
I then had two mentoring sessions, one in the afternoon and one in the evening, both of which were very special times of the Lord's presence flowing.

I sensed something happening in the heavenlies, but wasn't sure what:)

On my way home from the school drop-off this morning, my friend came up to me and asked if I had 5 minutes. She asked if I had ever heard of Revelation TV (well of course I have and I sometimes even watch it on the Internet.)
Anyway, this friend told me that she had mentioned me to her parents-in-law (who are Christians) and they had in turn mentioned me to a couple who apparently help to run this TV station down South.

She said that they were possibly interested in doing a piece on me about my new album.
I was incredulous. Only yesterday I had prayer for this very thing.

Later on, I looked up Revelation TV and saw that one of the Trustees became a Christian in the Isle of Man at the scripture Union Beach mission that my family helped with for many years.

You couldn't write it!

How wonderful is God? Watch this space to see how this one unfolds!!

A Classic tale - 12th July 2011

The Classics Department at Durham University had a certain smell. It smelt of clever people. People who didn't always know how to maintain eye contact; or boil an egg; or wash. But boy! They knew a thing or so about an Epicurean poem!

In my memory, it also has a distinctive colour. As a person who thinks in colours, I associate it with a specific tone of grey (or, as the creative people at the illustrious paint and furnishing company 'Farrow and Ball' have nobly suggested, "Elephant's Breath.")

Fitting, I think.

I came to study classics by a highly dubious route. To my utter discredit, the following story is totally true: On the day that we were meant to register our courses for the following year, I overslept. Not only that, but my room-mate and our friend across the corridor in halls, also overslept. Not just a little, but a lot.

As the Cathedral bells began to chime midday, I believe that my room mate and I stirred. Alarmed (but not by the usual alarm clock method) to see the time, we raced to get dressed, shouting for our neighbour across the hall to wake too. Roused and in disarray we ran, laughing naughtily, headlong and headstrong into The Bailey.

"We need to register!" I shouted.
"Where shall we go?" the others giggled.

The classics department is the nearest one to St John's college, where we now stood.

What harm could it do?

We raced towards it, arriving silly and breathless at 12.09. We threw ourselves on the mercy of the secretary who took pity on us and signed us up for a whole year of classical education lectures and tutorials. We tried to sound as though we had all read the prospectus thoroughly. Kate was a fabulous actor (Handily she is Prunella Scales and Timothy West's niece and has inherited their genes) and won the day with a convincing display of half-learnt names and lots of pointing and nodding.

I need you understand something at this point. I got 44% in my mock Latin GSCE so decided WISELY not to take it. I had no interest in Troy, or the derivation of words. I wasn't keen on Homer or Atlas or Athanasius. In fact, I wasn't even sure who they were.

So basically there I was signing up to a whole YEAR of classical education in a musty room with a man with a HUUUUUUGE beard. Why?
Because I had been to a great party the night before.

Epic tales, impossibly mythical creatures and sage words from the lips of dusty old Greeks and Romans awaited me.

It wasn't as bad as I feared. I followed in the footsteps of my eldest brother who was also at the department studying his Latin degree. I actually learnt a few things - one of which is my love of writing.

It is funny the journeys God takes us on isn't it? Sometimes, through our own fault and sometimes on a slightly less woeful path, God allows us to experience what He desires and designs for us. Today, trust Him to lead you and guide you to new places. You may find yourself in strange company in a strange place, but it may well be His plan unfolding!

I leave you with a quote from Homer himself; but Homer of the Simpson variety:

"I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic shopping malls."

That's the spirit!!

Children's minister - again! - 11th July 2011

Well, it is now official. It was announced yesterday that I am taking over the role of Children's leadery person thing at Ivy. (I must get a clearer title sometime.)

Having deliberately NOT done any children's ministry at Ivy when we arrived and deliberately NOT told anyone that I used to be involved in Children's ministry, I confess to being rather surprised at the turn of events that has led me to this point.

Basically, I was 'outed' not by people, but by God. He told some of the elders to seek me out and talk to me regarding the position and there it was. BUSTED!

They needed someone, for a few months between pastors, who roughly had my experience and background. It seemed a bit of heavenly set up, and so I agreed, smiling to myself! God's routes are sometimes surprising. They don't always follow what we would think of as 'sensible paths'. I mean, if God has told me what He has about me being a worship leader and speaker, (and HE HAS!) why would He then want me to do this transitional children's role? Well for three reasons:

1. Because He knows how much I love Him.
2. Because He knows how much I love my church.
3. Because He knows how much I love children.

I have never loved God more than I do today. I adore Him. I will go where He leads me, even if it doesn't seem to make much sense of my long-term goal at the time. It is always right! Therefore this, which is undoubtedly Him, is right for me. So I have my excited clothes on! Yippeeee!

I love Ivy. I have always been passionate for it to be the best that it can be. BUT God has already been speaking to me about the children's work there and how His heart for it is not JUST to be the best it can be, but to be the best in the WORLD. (YIKES!!!) He wants it to be a place where people learn how to become Children's pastors. He wants it to be a place where children grow in their leadership and their anointing. That will not happen if people just expect their children to be looked after for 40 minutes during a service and come out the same afterwards! It will have to be an expectation, a prayer and a desire on the part of the leadership and the community.

Watch out chaps!!

Have you ever stopped to think that there is no such thing as a junior version of the Holy Spirit? It's not like a game of scrabble where there are two versions: one for those who can only spell CVC words (Consonant, vowel, Consonant- like DOG and CAT) and one for those who can spell "onomatopoeia." NOPE!
There is one Holy Spirit, available to ALL who believe. We are all ONE in Christ Jesus; those who have known Him for 50 years, or 5 minutes.


I love children. I always have. I have always led children.
To my shame, my oldest friend Ros (Now a pastor's wife in America) once reminded me of my first Bible study and prayer groups with her and another girl. I was 4 or 5. I charged an entry fee of 5p. I think I also set homework? So it was there even then; the desire to serve and teach...Shame on me!!

Like I said, I love children. I sometimes find having 4 little people very hard work. But anyone who knows me also knows how much I adore them and get so much joy and pleasure from hanging out with them.

I am looking forward to my new role (which I think starts properly in a few weeks) and seeing what God does. I am already hearing Him whispering to me and am excited about what will unfold in these days.

Open Heaven over our children Lord, in Jesus' name!

Helpful ants - 7th July 2011

The other day I was watching an amazing programme about plants. In it, I was fascinated to watch the journey of a certain jungle seed.
It is covered with a protective and attractive tip that is irresistible to ants. Once it falls to the forest floor, they pick it up and move it under the ground.

They nibble the tip of the seed, which does no damage to it, but ensures it is the right place for germination and away from hungry opportunistic birds.

The ants then leave it alone to ripen and grow.

I think this hiding and protecting principle is one that God has woven into many of our lives at this time. He has allowed certain things to come about which look, on the face of it to be destructive. They are in fact, His way of ensuring that the right things die and the right things live.

One of the lovely girls I met as part of my album recording shared a wonderful saying with me about my finances. She said "If it's God's will, then its God's bill!." I am not sure where this originates (although I would put a few dollars on it being a Joyceism!!)

This means that however crazy the idea, if it is born of God, it WILL happen.
This means that all things will work towards that end. All things will work for good and all things will eventually 'ripen' in His timing.

I take great comfort from this picture. I feel as though God has planted some seeds in me just below the surface. No-one else knows where they are except the 'ants' who are spiritually disinterested! But God is hiding and protecting those seeds for a special season.

Perhaps like me, you are sensing something of this in your own life? I pray for you that you will take heart from the work of the 'ants' in your life who have deliberately ignored something you have shown them. Something far sweeter is about to happen my friend. Only God knows what and when. So keep trusting.

Whether it is worship leading, church planting, preaching, singing, book writing, or a PHd in stone age cave painting, God will allow it to ripen in His season. So trust in the dust!

Daria - 5th July 2011

I inadvertently found myself at the site of a witches' coven on Sunday. My husband is filming on location in a beautiful garden and had taken us to visit it and check everything was set up well.

In the middle of the garden is a very old tree surrounded by boards that have been made into a small stage or low seating. This (according to the night watchman) is where the witches meet.

I claimed the blood of Jesus over the site and cleansed it thoroughly. That night I had terrible demonic nightmares and envisaged a murder in my dream. I woke up feeling very attacked and knowing this was linked to the coven in the garden.

Jon and I prayed over it again and my fears left immediately.
Then one of our twins came in (tired after also having a horrid nightmare) he said "Mummy, what does "Daria" mean? It's a speaking-in-tongues-kind-of-word God has put into my head." I looked it up.

It means 'Well-ordered', 'well-maintained', 'possessed' or 'good' in Persian!!!
Ben has never done this before.
I was truly elated as I felt it was such a direct word from God that He was dwelling in that garden and that His presence was now there. Jon had a wonderful first day of filming yesterday which couldn't have gone better.

God has maintained that garden and possesses it for His good. Isn't that amazing?

The key cushion - 4th July 2011

Apologies for the long delay in blogging. (I know its not long by other people's standards...but 8 days is fairly mammoth for me...!)


So much has happened in this past week or so that its tough to keep up with all the blessings!

As you probably gathered, I went down to London last week to do some recording. I travelled down first class as a treat from my husband...! I arrived late due to a train delay and was pleased to hear that rather than getting a tube or a taxi, I was being picked up by Jennifer, my friend and singer who had organised the recording. It was so lovely to see her. We just hugged for ages.

I was taken to a pub to meet up with Juan (her husband and the music producer) and a couple of others involved. I enjoyed the time with them and got to pray with a young guy who I sensed was a highly talented musician on the verge of renown. Ben was nothing to do with the album... but he just happened to be there. It was a real "God appointment".

Then I had a remarkable thing happen. When Ian and Jen had prayed with me the night before, I had been given a picture of a little blue suitcase halfway up a mountain. The case was locked but God has given me the key. I didn't think the picture was for me at the time, but wasn't sure what it meant.

As we chatted, Jennifer shared that she felt she was half way up a mountain but wasn't sure what she needed to get to the top. I told her about the suitcase picture and that I felt she was going to experience some real revelation in the coming days! We got very excited as we talked more about this.

The following day as the guys were setting up the studio, one of them brought in a little blue suitcase. I nearly screamed out loud. It was exactly the one I had seen in my picture. I asked Oyvind, my Norwegian engineer what he kept in the case. It was headphones. I called Jennifer over and told her that we needed to pray that she would tune out to everything else except God's word to her in these next few days... that she needed to wear "spiritual headphones" to see the next part of her story unfolding. It was a promising beginning!

I then called the band together, none of whom I knew. God had told me to take an antique key (from my collection) with me for each of them as a symbol of what He was going to unlock in their lives. As I prayed over them God gave me beautiful words, pictures and prophecies for them. I was blown away, let alone them. The words were deep and specific. It took a long time to share with all of the 8 people gathered. But it was very key (no pun intended) to the atmosphere of the later recording.

Amongst the band were some real issues and hurts that God wanted to speak into and minister His grace and mercy. It was wonderful to begin our time by putting Him and His word at the centre. I was in my element!

The set up that day took until 4pm which God has warned me about. So I spent the day trying to serve people with food, and words of fun and encouragement. We started to build up a really special rapport - my cheeky sense of humour being met, in many cases, by theirs.


A real God-send was a guy called Tom who was one of the keyboard players. He seemed to understand what I played to him incredibly quickly and interpret it for the other musicians. I felt totally confident in his ability and he was a wonderfully perfect middle-man. I played to him a few things on the piano and he wrote them out into short charts for the rest of the guys.

Without any rehearsals we just recorded from the off. I had no idea of the structure of the songs until we started to play them. The band were very good at trusting me to 'hear" and watched me intently as I pointed at them, or gestured for things to start or stop. It was natural and easy to work with them.

By the time we came to record, we managed to do three songs before people needed to leave. In those songs, God gave me fresh words from Him and a wonderful peace.

I thought I would feel insecure or insignificant that I was surrounded by professional session musicians who could play complex music. But instead, God gave me a real sense of significance and calm. I felt in control of the fact that God was in control. People looked to me as I looked to Him.

The following day, God woke me up as usual at 4.45am (something he had done for the previous week) with a picture for the band. He told me to give each of them a white rose. It was a beautiful symbol of how precious we are to Him. I asked people to dwell on the rose in their hand and realise how unique and wonderful God's design had been for that. Then I asked them to consider how much deeper and more intricate His plans were for them. We had some new members of the band arrive, who were not familiar with what has happened the day before. I found it easy to explain and God gave a spirit of favour.

Then as a prophetic act we took the thorns off each of the roses and asked that we would be 'easy for God to hold' in these days. Something was broken in that minute and the sense of enemy attack became palpable to me.

This whole morning was harder. There were some technical issues to overcome and I sensed some real spiritual warfare too. But we broke through and in spite of a knife falling to the floor in the middle of a song for no apparent reason, and a lit candle falling into the Rhodes and spilling wax all over it, we managed to record another 8 songs.

A very precious addition to the album came in the afternoon. One of the drummers, Bernie needed to leave to go and teach in a school. We were without a drummer, but ready to record a couple of heavy gospel tracks. Then Phil (who last week was playing the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury with Jessie J) mentioned a guy he knew who lived nearby. Enter Isaac Iwanga. He brought a beautiful vibe to the music and such an incredible spiritual anointing. After he had gone, we commented on his maturity and playing. Phil said 'Yeah, not bad for 17 eh?!
I was stunned. 17!! Sheesh!

God provided EVERYTHING. At just the right time.

I have only heard three songs back, but I am utterly thrilled with them. The sense of the presence of God is tangible in them. They sound live and there are certainly raw areas and mistakes etc... but nothing that is a barrier.

The final piece of the puzzle was that I didn't have any money for mixing and mastering. I spoke to Juan at length and told him that I wanted him to do it. He was reluctant to give me a 'fee' because he was yet to hear it back... so I asked him for a ballpark figure which he gave me of roughly £1k to mix it and a bit more to master. Immediately I had the figure in my head of £1600 which I knew was from God.

I came home to a peaceful, clean house that Jon had cleaned and friends had tidied. The children were happily playing with their pals and it was an oasis of joy. I shared with Dave and Hannah and Jen (who were babysitting) about the money and sensed their faith for it to be provided too.

On Friday night Ian and Jen and us lit our outdoor fire and talked about how God was going to provide for the next step. I shared that from my human perspective I could see how valuable it would be for it to be quick....

On Saturday I took another friend of mine (another called Jen) to a soaking event to my friend David Hadden's church in Leicester. I met his wife Ruth and God gave me a word for her before the day even began. She is LOVELY! I was a bit unsure why God wanted to take me to Leicester for the day when I was tired and had ministered so much that week already. But it was clear He wanted me there. Jen (who leads worship at Audacious) and I met some very significant people to God. A couple of girls from a church in Hull grabbed our spiritual radar at lunchtime. They shared what they did and who they were a little and I got such a sense in my heart that God was going to download some stuff to them... and BOY! did He?! It was amazing to watch what happened as God broke in and healed them of some insecurities and set them firmly on His path for them.

Of most significance to me personally was the prayer I had for God to provide finances for me. I waited until the very end and then just grabbed a girl and her hubby to pray. Gloria and Neil sang over me and asked heaven to open and the resources to come. I had taken with me a cushion that my Jen had given me the day before with two keys on it.

I lay it on the floor and asked for a number of people to come and lie their head on it and seek God for His next step for them.

There I was with my head on the same cushion.

Afterwards, Gloria gave me a cheque. It was not a large amount of money. But it was so precious to me. She had not sung for 18 months and had not been able to get any gigs. The week before she had earnt a small amount at a charity event. It was this amount that she gave me, as she put it, to 'sow' into my ministry. Gulp!

I dragged myself away from the lovely people I connected with and then stopped at service station to ring Jon. He said "Have you read your emails?" I hadn't.

He told me that my parents had put £1600 in our bank account!! I was incredulous. How could they afford that? I know they don't have any money right now... But when I saw the email (uncharacteristically brief) it simply said that it was what they would have spent taking my Grandma on holiday - something she is too fragile and unstable to do.

I couldn't believe how wonderfully and quickly God had answered Neil and Gloria's, the bands, mine and so many others people's prayers for me! I texted them and said 'You'll never guess what?!!" Then I rang Juan and Jennifer. Juan was blown away, especially when I told him that God had asked me to send the money as soon as I received it.

I gave testimony to God yesterday in church. How does a normal housewife that no-one has ever heard of end up recording an album in London in an amazing studio with world-class musicians for FREE?


The answer is only when heaven opens. Which is has.

As I have been writing this I have just received a text from friends of mine who run the Vineyard Church in Winchester. I had sent them one of the recorded songs as God had asked. She was texting me to say that they were just about to listen to it in their private time of worship. I sensed God at work.

Watch this rather large opened space!!!

Jesus works!! - 27th June 2011

So I go to London later on today on the start of my Open Heaven journey. The extraordinary favour of God on this project so far has staggered me and humbled me. I am not in any way unpeaceful or worried or concerned about what will happen next. It is entirely in His hands. I am trying to expect the unexpected - if that doesn't sound too crazy?!

This morning I decided to go to the Message Prayer Day and was so warmly welcomed by them all. What a bunch of radical believers they are! Andy Hawthorne, who has recently taken me very much into his heart, spoke very passionately about his latest visit to London. He was privileged to be speaking last week at the Houses of Parliament no less. But beforehand, he was hit with nerves and doubts. He explained how he looked at his talk notes and thought he ought to dumb it down a bit and perhaps not talk about Jesus quite so much! (I have had the same feeling on occasion.)

But as he felt this, he was overcome with a wave of new faith rising within him. He chose to address his listeners with two key points.

1. The Bible works. It transforms society.
2. Jesus works. He transforms individuals.

The Christians in the room went mad and started getting really excited. Andy (recently made an OBE, of course) became passionate as the evangelist in him told the gathered MP's and leaders what he experienced every day-first-hand: how drug addicts were being set free to become community leaders, how prisoners were being changed and never re-offending, how those with previous ASBO's were becoming those with compassion for the lost. He spoke powerfully and movingly about the Jesus I know and the Jesus I love.

Afterwards as Andy Smith led the room in worship, I sensed a new dawning in society when real, ordinary, broken, unchurched people will wake up to the truth that the Bible DOES work and more than that, this Jesus that us Christians keep banging on about -the same Jesus that us humans banged into a wooden cross all those years ago- can change us, me and you TODAY.

God give us eyes to see and ears to hear what You are doing!

OPEN HEAVEN PLEASE LORD! This is my prayer

Beauty - 23rd June 2011

I opened a small parcel today. In it was a CD. For a while I didn't click. Then I suddenly remembered.
Integrity made a compilation album of tracks which included one of mine and Tim's from our last album. I rather nervously put the CD into my player and waited to see what I thought of it.

It is the first time I have heard something I have offered God alongside other worshippers. I wondered whether I would like the sound of what else was on the album, and what "our bit" would sound like side-by-side with their tracks.

It is a strange thing to hear yourself sing. I still don't always like the experience. But Tim and Robbie sounded fabulous as always! I concentrated instead on the amazing songs that surround mine. WOW! This is going to be an album I play over and over again in my prayer times.

I suddenly woke up in my spirit and realised that the timing of this arrival was rather interesting for me!!

Last night I had some full-one major prayer ministry with a friend of mine. She helped me to work through some key truths that God was showing us to pray into. I realised afresh today how beautiful this journey is for me!

Thank you God for your beauty. Thank you God for your immensely precious and wonderful timing! Thank you Jesus for your partnership with us and your friendship and safety.

If any one you should want a copy of this album, it is available from Re-Vived.com. (Beauty Volume 2 Iworship24-7)

I hope you enjoy praying along to it.

Camel Test - 22nd June 2011

Today I was dwelling on the story of Rebekah in Genesis 24. (A lovely friend came to babysit last night and was telling me that she preached on this in the Prison on Sunday and 40 women responded!!!)

Anyway I read into this story once more to see what God was saying to me. It is interesting that the "camel test" was used to see what Rebekah's character was like.

It is true that we reveal our true character in many ways - often without meaning to. We show people that we value them when we stop and say hello or ask them for a coffee. We show our children that they aren't as important as other things if we repeatedly fob them off and say "Not now darling. Daddy is busy." Rebekah revealed her true character in a very simple but profound way. She had no knowledge of the ‘test’ she was passing. All she was doing was showing kindness for the sake of showing kindness.

Here is a stranger with 10 laden camels at the well outside her town. It is the time when the women come out and draw water. She arrives with her jar and sees the stranger – who happens to be Eliezer, favourite and trusted servant of Abraham. Eliezer asks her for a drink from her ladel. She then also offers to water his entire camel train.

Did you know that a large and thirsty camel can consume as much as 200 litres a day? This is not a quick or easy job.

Rebekah does not flinch. There she is, a woman who may not accustomed to feeding camels, looking attentively for a way to bless a total stranger.


It was only after her job was completed, during which she had no expectations of him, that was he able to be absolutely convinced that she had truly “passed.” The "Camel Test" was a glimpse of Rebekah's true character.

Later when Eliezer was invited back to her home he said:
“Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.”
He was a prayerful man waiting for God to answer Him. God heard his prayer and answered BEFORE he had finished praying it!
How lovely is that?
There are those of us who make generous offers but give up half way through. There are others who may do a job, but resentment or compensation is somewhere in their thinking.

Am I like this? Are you? Do you look for ways to bless people? Or you do only do what you can when they ask and then mind very much when it is harder than you thought?
Perhaps God has a “camel test” for you right now. Are you up for it?

Open Heaven - 21st June 2011

Ok, so I think it is time to tell you about my latest adventure with God. This really has blown me away. I honestly feel as though I am some kind of princess being treated royally to all the favour of Heaven!

Three weeks ago, my friend Jennifer came to see me. It was not a planned visit, she just happened to be in Manchester. As we sat and talked, she spoke out an idea over me. She told me that she and her husband Juan really believed in me and my ministry and that she wanted to champion me. I started to cry, rather a lot!

Then she told me that she (as an amazing singer-songwriter) and Juan (who is an incredible music producer and arranger) would like to help me produce my next album.

I protested, "But I have no money, no band, no record company, no studio, not even any child-care, nothing...How could I possibly do this?!"

Jennifer smiled and said that she believed none of these things would stop God. Oh.
At that moment her husband rang and she told him what she had just said. Juan agreed with her words completely and offered me his time and their studio In London for FREE. He then said that they could get a band together for me. For FREE.

I was incredulous. And very tearful.

I was also a bit wary.
People have made me a lot of promises before on such lines. I have been asked to minister abroad, been promised album deals, band lineups, gigs...and all sorts of other things that have never actually happened. I have thought people were going to travel alongside me for life, only to see them disappear after a few months.

So I chose to go to my knees and pray, rather than focus on their idea. I weighed it up with Jon, and Ian and Jen, our close friends, and they prayed into it for me.

Jennifer and Juan then asked me to pay for an engineer. I misread the text thinking it said £1000 and worried how I would find the money! I texted my friend Emma and asked her to pray into it. But I looked again and realised that the text said "£100"! I laughed to Emma and said we could pay it after all. In the meantime, God had spoken to her and her husband and asked them to give me, guess what, the £100! It arrived by post the next day!!! So even the engineer was FREE for me.

A week later, Jennifer called me to ask me what band lineup I wanted and to set a real, actual, proper, date. (!) We decided it would need to be soon. (Jon's TV schedule and their studio schedule left us a three- day-window at the end of THIS MONTH. 27th-30th. Yikes!) Then she scurried around, asking the people God laid on her heart. Each day I got calls and texts saying that another person had confirmed. It started to look like it was happening! The band was growing. All of whom agreed to do it FOR FREE even though most of them had never heard of me!

Jon then bought my train tickets and (very uncharacteristically) paid for 'first class' ones. He said he never wanted me to forget this time in my life! Then he told me that he had taken time off to care for the children! Oh my word!

So with studio time, a band, somewhere to stay (Juan and Jen's) and child-care all sorted, I waited on God for what to call the album. I asked Him to confirm that it should be called 'Open Heaven' as I had thought He'd spoken to me over a year ago.

That weekend, my brother's new girlfriend came to stay. Ruthie is an extraordinary woman of God from the Glasgow Prophecy Centre. She gave me a new book "The Reformers Pledge" compiled by Che Ahn. (Destiny Image.com) She gently encouraged me to read it.

It is the craziest book... so much of the heart and language that God is speaking to me at the moment. Anyway, I picked it up and read a random chapter from the middle of the book (I know. I am SUCH a rebel!!) which is about History being made by true Intercession, written by James W Goll. I was speechless when I read this sentence:

"I exhort you to get so saturated by the presence of Jesus that you will carry an open Heaven over your own head"

I could not have asked for clearer confirmation and wept with joy!!

The following day, an old friend confirmed that she would be able to play cello for me. She spoke to me on the phone and shared how 5 years ago I had apparently had a word for her life which had led her through some hard and difficult times. I had prayed for someone to miraculously come alongside her and she had then met her husband! She wanted to be on the album as her way of praising God for how He had spoken to her and drawn near to her.

Again I was speechless. Another musician. FOR FREE! Such favour!

The following day Jennifer rang again. I was at the checkout in Tescos. She was buzzing! She told me she had asked a third pianist - a guy I had prayed for and sought God a lot about during the recording of my last album. He travelled through a very rough time some years ago and has since rediscovered his calling and become healed and whole. She wasn't sure WHY she asked him, when we already had two other keyboard players confirmed. As she invited him to play and he agreed, one of the other keyboard players texted and said she had to pull out. Jennifer just rang me to praise God with me! My Tescos checkout lady and the whole queue heard my end of an incredible conversation. I couldn't stop grinning.

That day I got a text from a prophetic lady in our church called Estar asking if she could come over. She sat with me and shared that God had given her a picture of me on a stage. Above my head was a spotlight, but as she looked up it wasn't a light at all, but a break in the heavens. I cried AGAIN and she prayed over me. Wonderful!

The next weekend, I had an email from my sweet, sweet friend who used to run the record company I did my first album with. (Integrity in the US have now been bought by another company and so Integrity Europe is no more) I had told him about the album Jennifer had offered me and he had been wonderfully encouraging. He offered me full manufacture and distribution with the new company he had set up - which began trading only five days before! More tears ensued!

Then, I spoke to my designer friend, Matt, about whether he could help me with an album cover. I had really liked one he had done last year for another artist. He had already told me that this particular picture had never been used and that I could have it. I told him that I now had distribution and manufacture I needed and asked him to send me through the design. He sent it straightaway and it was just perfect! I made NO changes. (You heard me right... none!!)

The next thing I needed was someone to help me write out the chords properly. As a musician who doesn't read or understand what I play, it is hard for me to explain myself sometimes. I decided to pray and ask a friend who arranges and produces his own music. The next day he rang me with a prophecy for me. It was so clear that God was giving me favour with him, so I asked him to help with the few songs God has already given me. He was delighted to offer me time on his day off.

There was just one other thing. When we first moved here I got close to a lovely couple called Lucy and Andy Smith. When they moved to Wales, I thought we might lose touch, but God has given us a special bond. I had always hoped that Lucy would do my album pictures as she is an incredible photographer. But, living in Wales now, a 5 hour drive seemed a bit much to ask.

Last week she texted me to say that she was coming to Manchester for work and could she come and stay for a couple of nights?!

I shared with her about the album and asked how much she would charge me to take the photos. She blessed me mightily by saying she wanted to do it for free!! She said she wanted to sow into my ministry for all sorts of wonderful reasons. Again I had to gulp back my tears. She then arranged for me to have my hair and makeup done as part of that day by a friend of hers. You guessed it FOR FREE!

Are you picking up the theme here?! "Those who have no money, come and buy!"

I wondered, for half a second what I would do with Esther and who would take care of her, before remembering that my parents-in-law were due to be here... ! I texted them to check they were happy. They were delighted to be of assistance. God had planned it perfectly.

So "Open heaven" has begun! I record next week - a week from today with a group of people I don't know in a place I have never been. As much of it is a spontaneous album, there is no actual preparation I need do except get myself right with my Father and make sure I am as clean and holy as I can be before Him. The rest is up to Him!!

A close friend just texted to say he was fasting for me today.
Boy! I need those prayers right now.

Please join me in what is already an amazing God adventure.
Much love
Ems

Yellow - 17th June 2011

At tea time last night, I asked Sam to say grace. His first sentence was "Thank you God for all the colours on my plate.." I looked at mine too. Indeed lots of bright colours. Beautiful!

I can't remember the last time I thanked God for colour. But I am today.

Last night, as I was bathing Esther, I looked at my hand. It was totally covered in a rainbow of wet merging colour. At first I couldn't think why. Then I realised. My eldest brother bought me an amazing bracelet last week. It is made out of old coloured pencils which have been captured inside acrylic. But the top part of it is not covered at all. The pencils must be watercolour ones! Once the bracelet got wet as it did doing Esther's bath, the colours dripped down my hand. It looked amazing, like some crazy art installation!

Then later on, Esther learnt how to say the word "Yellow!" She proudly pointed to a large plastic sweetcorn and said it. "Yellow!" "Clever girl!!" I said, beaming at her. Then she picked up her red shoe and said, "Yellow!"

Oh.

She has got the word but not the concept. (She is only 17 months old, so fair play.)

These three little things all connected to colour just made me imagine a world without it. Imagine grass that isn't green; imagine sky that isn't blue; imagine robins without red; and sun without yellow... imagine sea without aquamarine and goldfish without gold.

Colour defines and explains so much of the world to us. How we see things in itself is a mind-boggling and incredible thing...My little head and poor scientific understanding cannot begin to fathom it!

Today I am thanking God for cobalt and crimson. I am praising Him for violet and vermillion... and emerald.
His amazing creation demanded an incredible pallette of colour. Isn't it wonderful that we all have our favourites?

Thank you God for the incredible paintbox You used to paint the world. I for one am a big, big fan. Thank you especially for hot pink and for the very, very clever person at Loreal who made it into a shiny lipstick just for me.

Amen

The yes of heaven - 16th June 2011

When I was a little girl I used to watch a programme with my Mum called "Yes Minister." I hardly understood it but she used to roar with laughter at the very clever word-play and subtle scripting.

Every episode ended with the phrase 'Yes minister!" given by one of the characters to the politician he served.

I believe that God says that over us today.
"Yes! Minister! Go out and serve people in my name!"

I believe that God answers every prayer of my heart.
Every single one!
Every sigh!
Every cry!
Every tear and longing.
Every laugh!
He knows what I am trying to say and interprets for me. He hears and He responds every single time.

Does He always say 'yes'? Of course not.
He didn't even always say 'yes' to Jesus! Jesus once asked if there was another way... although he ended up by saying " I will do whatever you ask."

'No' is still an answer. It is just not the answer we hoped for.
I asked someone to mentor me earlier this year. I love her and really believe in her ministry. I prayed about it and it seemed as though she would be right for me. So I asked her.

She did not respond for a month. She said she just hadn't seen my text as it had arrived at the same time as someone else's (a common iphone issue!)
When she did answer, she said a flat 'no'. She said she felt it was not right for many reasons, but mainly because we are friends and she learns stuff from me...

NO is still an answer.

In Jesus' last speech in John He links His name with answered prayer. Six times. John 14:14 Jesus says, “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”

Let's read that again. Note well that the verse does not say, “Ask me anything in my name, and you might well get some sort of response, eventually ” it says, “I will do it!”

And yet we sometimes get a 'no.' So what is wrong? Why do we not get a constant stream of 'yes and Amen' from heaven? We end our prayers with 'in Jesus' name' don't we? We ask from what we believe are pure motives, don't we? We try and get it right, don't we?

So why would God choose to sometimes say 'no?'
Well it is because His ways are higher. He can see further. He gets the whole picture. He knows the ending. He sees how things will pan out next.

You see, God knew the day I asked my friend to mentor me that He had someone much better for me in His mind. He just hadn't yet revealed it to me. So the day she said 'no', I chose to believe that this was the case. I chose to hold on to the truth that God would bring it about. And I choose to believe that He will do this for you too.

The key to answered prayer is more than just speaking out the name of Jesus Christ as verbal graffiti to the territory of our voiced prayers. Christianity is not akin to 'magic' in any way.

When we ask for things that are on God's heart, they are guaranteed to be fulfilled. So perhaps each of us need to spend time checking with Him what is on His heart for our lives?

Father, what should I pray today for my wife?
What should I pray for my business contact?
What should I pray for my relationship with You?
What is on your heart for my future?
What do you want me to spend my money on?

Then comes the waiting.

In John 15:7-13 Jesus says “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (v. 7).

Doing something in Jesus' name is not about using the right phrase, but having the right heart. Its about being able to abide in Him and not in anyone else.

Are you good at abiding? Or are you better at chiding?
Are you good at resting with Him, or are you rushing around trying to prove you are working and 'doing' things all the time?

Are your prayers not being answered the way you hoped?

Is it because you are simply not abiding in Jesus as you once did?

My friend, sit with Jesus a while today and ask Him what you need. Then pray those revealed words like mad. Over and over and over.
The 'yes' of heaven will undoubtedly follow.

In praise of team - 14th June 2011

I was (and, Praise God, still am) one of four children. My parents were both only children, and not happily so. They each craved the company of other children whilst they were growing up. Thus, when they were married, they asked God to give them a 'big family'.

My idea of family is the same. Big, noisy, messy, fun, a little chaos thrown in. Full fridges followed by empty fridges in one mealtime. Hangers on. Waifs and strays. Changes of beds. Mattresses on floors. Miracles in corridors. That's my idea of family.

I am very blessed on a daily basis by my children. I love who they are and what they do. They may me proud. They make me laugh. They sometimes make me cry. But they make me... well more me, I guess.

I was praying the other day over Esther as I was putting her to bed. Her little eyes were going drowsy as she sucked her milk and her tiny fingers started to curl into the waves of her fine baby hair. She was totally safe, happy and snuggly. She smiled up at me sleepily and stroked my face saying 'Argggg' as she did so. I melted.

I asked God that whatever I do with the rest of my life, whether I serve Him in this house, or in my church or in my nation or other nations, that I will always be the type of mummy who loves her children first.

I am grateful for my four. I never want them to be sidelined or pushed aside whilst I "serve" God. Whatever I do, or Jon does I pray they will be part of the picture. Doing it with us. Adding to the craziness. I also pray that we will be part of their ministry.

We are Team Hancock in every sense.
I pray the Ruth prayer over them:
"Where they go, I will go, their people shall be our people and their God our God."

I am looking forward to the first time Sam leads worship, Ben preaches and Tom saves lives. I can't wait until Esther writes her first song. I think I may burst with pride as I watch all the prophecies over their lives unfold.

I am part of a TEAM.
When the children were born we knew they were God's best for us.
B for Ben
E for Esther
S for Sam
T for Tom

Thank you God for our Team. Help us lead it well.

Opportunity - 13th June 2011

We do not fight against flesh and blood. The war we are in goes far deeper than that.

Yesterday, I was listening to Debra Green preaching and she mentioned one of the most enlightening things that had occurred in her week. She was trying to type the word 'Opposition' into her iphone. But the word it kept offering her was 'opportunity.' How great is that?!

There was much talk in Christian circles, a few years ago now, about the word in Chinese for "danger," being the same as the one for "opportunity."
Chinese philologist Victor H. Mair of the University of Pennsylvania, calls this popular interpretation a "widespread public misperception." Whilst he argues that while wēi (危) does roughly mean "danger, perilous; precipitous, precarious; high; fear, afraid" his argument is that the other part of the word, the polysemous jī (机) does not necessarily mean "opportunity."

It is much more accurate to say that this is only one of its many possible meanings. These apparently include "machine, airplane; suitable occasion; crucial point; pivot; incipient moment; opportune, opportunity; chance; key link; secret; cunning." Mair suggests that jī in wēijī is closer to "crucial point" than to "opportunity."

I don't mind what it means! But I love this principle that God gives us: that happens to us as a chance to find Him at work.

What are you facing today that could be seen as opposition to what you would like to happen? How could you see that differently? How could it be an opportunity?

My brother Joel was told two days ago that he may have suffered a small heart attack. He is 30. He is in America. He is in hospital with severe pains. I prayed about this and just got a massive sense that this diagnosis was total guff!

I don't believe for a second that he has had a heart attack. I believe God has broken into the "machine" of his life to offer him a crucial point, an opportunity of change and a repositioning of his priorities.

On my music stand right now as I am typing is the song "You're the God of this city"....

"Greater things have yet to come
and greater things are still to be done..."

Raise your eyes above the natural! Raise your faith above your experience! Raise your game above your expertise! None of that can stop God doing impossible, improbable, marvellous and wonderful things in your life. FACT.

There is NO-ONE like our God! His plans for us are AMAZING!!
Hold on tighter and see.

Join with me and pray this prayer over yourself today:

God of tiny ladybirds and enormous mountain ranges, of humming bird wings and the smell of fresh cut grass, thank You for Your plans for little me! Thank you that You love who I am and what I am. Thank You that Your plan for me is to prosper my soul and give me hope and a future, assured of Your comforting, challenging presence. Whatever doubts creep into my mind today, chase them away with Your ever-persuing love and mercy. Teach me to stand firm and hold on to the truth that Your love never gives up on me. May every opposition that seeks to stop me in my tracks be turned around into Your opportunity to show Yourself in these days. May today be a crucial day for me.

Amen.

My ideal church - 9th June 2011

I wonder what you would say you ideal church would be? It is dangerous in our consumer society perhaps, to even ask the question at all? Should we go to church for our own benefit or others?!

Just now I was writing an email to some old friends from our last church, who, like us, have moved on somewhere new. It was great to hear how they have settled in and what they are enjoying.

There is of course no such thing as the perfect church, because there is no such thing as the perfect person... but I do believe that God puts in in the perfect church at the perfect time in the perfect place for a perfect reason.

We have been at Ivy just shy of a year now. (We moved on July 15th 2010) In that time I have made more friends than I had in ten years in Kent. It is a friendly place, but I am a friendlier person.

I think it is the perfect church for me and for us as a family. Why?

Well three simple words:

I am led
I am fed
I am sped (up) in my spiritual metabolism.


Frankly, for me, there is nothing finer!

i love the cleverness of God.
I love my church.
It's not perfect, but then, if it was, I wouldn't fit in.

Willpower - 8th June 2011

I have joined a gym. I (quite literally) took the plunge yesterday and decided enough was enough. Thanks to the kind lunacy of my friend Fie, (THANKS GIRL!!) I am now a member with my own combination padlock and everything!

After having a fairly terrifying induction with a lovely personal trainer/instructor type blokey, I then tried out the equipment. (I might add that it was terrifying because there is a scale of unhealthiness and I was well and truly past that scale every time....!)

I haven't set either of my feet in a place of 'leisure' (Ha!) or 'health' (Ha again!) for many years. I think it is about 12?? So my body has no idea what has happened. But let's just say, for arguments sake, that today, it HATES me. It doesn't want to perform simple tasks like walking and moving gently. It aches. Even in places I didn't know I had places.

It is nice to know that even small amounts of exercise begin to train and teach your muscles what they are actually there for. I am a dormant woman breaking free! Ouch! (It hurts to type. Must be more gentle....Ah! That's better.)

I am hoping that I don't get bored after a week and stay at home. My training person is aptly called WILL. He shall from this day, be re-named as WILL POWER, in my head any way!

That's what I need more than anything right now! Will has a similar chest measurement to myself, arms like thighs and drinks "powershakes" in mysterious colours. OOOHH. (I have no idea what they do, perhaps just give you a sleek, but heavily-purpled colon?) At any rate, I am game. Will and the gym are up for the challenge of turning me into a less flabulous girlie... Woe betide me if I don't do it! I don't want the wrath of people with real muscles after me!!

Anyway, there I was in the pool last night, trying to work off the ache from the gym and wondering what on earth I was doing amongst the sleek and the slender. I decided to reward myself with a short time in the sauna for being a very good girl.

Enter hilarious northern man.
Now, I am not being funny, but I don't really like sitting in a boiling hot airing cupboard with a sweaty, hairy male with whom I am not in any way aquainted - nothing between us but a bit of ill-fitting lycra (on my part) and tesco's swim shorts on his...well parts...

But, that aside, we had a great chat. He started telling me all about his son, now a marine in Afghanistan. When this son was little, his father (my open-pored-lobster-red friend) dared him to play a game called "Garden Patrol." The rules were simple. He had to sneak into everyone's back garden on his road without being seen. Before his tea.


He shared this proudly with me.
Thats right! Proudly!
I think he honestly believes that because of that game his son got the taste for danger and is where he is today. He may be right!

Much entertainment was had as we talked further. What a funny guy!

My children are very encouraging about 'Mummy going to the Gym." They were brushing their teeth last night and telling me how much weight I had lost. IN ONE DAY. I felt like I'd walked into a Peter Kay monologue.

"I think you've lost hundreds" said Tom "Must be all that swimming!" he continued, with a winning smile and a powerful "thumbs up."

"Thanks Tom," I said. "But I haven't actually been yet."
Tom, missing the importance of what I had just said, continued in the same vein for some minutes... It was hilarious. Bless them.

But it got me thinking. Unwittingly, we teach our children many things about life, themselves and God by what we dare them to do and what we dare ourselves to do. Like my crimson pal last night who dared his son to peg it through people's gardens (to the sad end of his neighbour's newly-built greenhouse, I might add) to the simple act of me saying I need to get fit, we teach our little ones priorities.

What priorities do those around you know you have right now? You may not have spelt it out but it will be clear by what you watch, why you get out of bed and what is on your calendar.

Check with God what your goals should be and what He has asked you to do. If He is not in what you are attempting, no amount of will power (not even my friend WILL himself) will get you to your desired goal. But with God all things are possible.

Blog updates over the coming days will hint at my progress!

Dangerous Liaisons - 7th June 2011

I read an interesting article today that made me think. It was by Dr Russell Moore, Dean of a Theological School in the US and an author to boot. It was about the dangers of reading Romance novels!! Now one might be forgiven for thinking there was little harm in the odd bit of spicy literature. After all, the good old Snog of Snogs (Song of Songs) is fairly risque in tone is it not, my brethren?!

But listen to this - the author of the article I read, suggested that "whilst pornography and romance novels aren’t (or at least aren’t always) morally equivalent, they can often “work” the same way."

Sheeesh!

He went on to explain that both are based on a totally fake premise. 'Pornography is based on the illusion of a perfectly willing, always aroused partner without the “work” of relational intimacy' and domestic challenge. (How often do you see the hero putting the bins out or having a nose bleed in a rom-com?! Or the female on her period or working her way through her knicker drawer to find them all grey and full of holes?!) Often romance novels (or their chick-flick film equivalents) do the same thing for the emotional needs of women that pornography offers for the erotic urges of men.

In both cases, what the “market” wants is to be the SAME. Men want the illusion of women who look just like (perfect) women but are, in terms of sexual response, just like MEN. Women want the illusion of men who are “real” (perfect) men, but, in terms of a concept of romance, have the understanding of WOMEN.

This is revelatory to me! If we really grasped this fact, a lot of our Christian marriage preparation would be different. So would our Alpha courses!! The world is so messed up isn't it?

'In both artificial eros and artificial romance, there is at heart the love of the self, not the mystery of the other.' Its all about ME, ME, ME...

There is even, of course, the market of “Christian” romance novels. They may not have the heroine sleeping with her partner, but praying instead... but that's just the point. Oooh. In fact it may even be worse!

How many disappointed middle-aged women do you know? How many wish their husbands were as strong and Biblical as the lead elder or the worship pastor? If we are reading these kinds of things isn't it inevitable that a little comparison and dissatisfaction kicks in? You look at the man drinking beer and watching the football in your lounge. He is having a cabinet reshuffle (an uneccesary crotch scratch) You are reading about a strong spiritual giant going out early in the morning with his prayer staff and his Hebrew Bible...! The man comes home a couple of hours later, (armed with flowers from an obliging field) and explains in four pithy sentences all that the woman needs to hear from the Lord at that time. Then he makes her a nutritious breakfast...

Ha!

He goes on, 'Of course I am not morally equating “romance novels” with the soul-destroying addiction of pornography. But it is worth asking, “Is what I’m reading and dwelling on good for me? Is it leading me toward greater contentment with my spouse (or future spouse) or away from it? Is it pointing me towards my partner in one-flesh union or to an eroticised, self-referencial embodiment of my own desires?'

Are we looking for sameness in an unhealthy way, or celebrating the wonderful differences between ourselves and our partner in the way God intended?"

Is your relationship a consistently heavenly mystery or a constantly hellish mirage?
Makes you think, huh?
Perhaps some of us need to rethink what's on the bedside table?

Team work - 6th June 2011

Fernando stopped his F10 in the pit lane, millimetre perfect on the specified mark. The whole team of men worked in silence for just over three seconds.

+0.35: car lifted up by the two jack men

+0.70: wheels with the soft tyres come off

+1.40: wheels with the hard tyres in position

+2.30: first wheel locked on and arm up to confirm

+2.60: second wheel locked on

+2.70: third wheel locked on

+2.90: fourth wheel locked on

+3.40: car on the ground and green light

3.40 seconds later Fernando was off. The wheels were changed and the car was refuelled - things that take most garages about a week and a half to do! So what makes this sort of performance possible? How does this kind of team work and what can we learn from it?

Three things:
1. Awareness of the win
Each of the team is totally focussed on the goal. In this case: speed. It is crucial that the driver always stops at the exact same preordained spot, otherwise valuable tenths of seconds are lost. That must be fairly hard to do when you've been travelling at such high speed! But it is important to slow down and assess what you need in order to carry on.
In order to gain tenths of a second, much thought goes into the equipment used in this delicate operation. During the car’s design phase, the team work in conjunction with the engineers to look at the details that could make the job of carrying out a pit stop easier, thus gaining crucial tenths in the context of the race as a whole. Fine tuning means constant evaluation.

2. Awareness of the need to practice being a team
"There are two secrets, if we can call them that: training and constant practice," said one of the Ferrari team. "From the start of this year, we have done over 1300 pit stop practices, at the track and at the factory."

Over 1300 rehearsals!
That is a lot of wheel changes! The team is described as a "machine" in how they work. I checked out a video on youtube and it is incredible to see them in action. There is no room for glory seekers or lone rangers here!

3. Awareness of the role we play
Apart from the sixteen personnel involved in a standard pit stop, there are eight other people ready for action when the car comes into the pits: one man on a side jack, in case the nose needs to be changed, two ready to change the angle of the flap on the front wing, one on the starter, in case the engine stalls and four on another set of wheels, in case of a "double" stop, when the two drivers pit one after the other. The crew is chosen from a pool of around thirty, who all have other duties both at the factory and when they are at the track: it is a whole squad of professionals.

Each role within the team requires its own physical and mental characteristics. For example, the guys on the jacks must be pretty strong, given that every time, they have to lift a car that weighs around seven hundred kilos. Agility, staying cool and quick reflexes are the key requirements for those doing the wheel changing, especially the wheel gun men, as their job requires technical skills that are far from simple.

Who is on your team?
Who is your pit stop crew?
If you are struggling with the race ahead it may be because you don't have the right people along side you who are focussed on the win with you.
It may also be because you have tried to do something and it didn't go well, so you gave up. Learn from Ferrari and practice it another 1299 times and see if its still wrong!
Be aware of the role you play. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Don't try and operate out of your skill zone. Ask God what you are good at and hone those skills and talents.
Don't focus so much on what you don't have that you forget what you do have! Look at those God has put around you and celebrate their differences and ask how you can be an encouragement to them and vice versa. Don't wish your life away wishing you were thinner, faster, cleverer, talented in another area or more beautiful than you are.
You are a child of the living God, the God that rose Jesus from the dead!
There is nothing that you can't achieve if you are in the right team at the right time.

Even if you face a seemingly impossible thing (like changing four tyres and filling a car with petrol in just over three seconds,) it can be done!

Cues and queues - 2nd June 2011

Yesterday we had a completely idyllic day in Wales with friends. To celebrate one of their birthdays we decided to go Toboganning down the Great Orme. Aside from the hour-and-a-half wait, it was wonderful.
Someone had to stay with Esther, who at 17 months, is apparently too young to tobaggan. I sat with her whilst the others waited in the queue.

As I sat on a rock, lulling Esther to sleep in her buggy, a man and his son came and sat down heavily on the grass, clearly exhausted from walking up the enormous hill. The boy went to join the queue and the man went to sleep on the grass in the sunshine next to me.

I thought it strange that he sat so close to us, when there were many other places he could have chosen. I started to wonder if there was a reason.

I waited a full forty minutes before striking up a conversation. (He appeared to need his rest!) During that time I was praying for things in my own life and then asked God for a word for this man.

God pointed out a cleft in the cliff face above me and spoke to me about this man and how He wanted to hide him in a protective place from the wind of what was coming. So I waited until it felt right to speak.

Just as I was about to open my mouth the man sat bolt upright to see where his son was in the queue. He was very disappointed to see that the queue had not moved an inch and that his son was still last.

"Men have died like this!" he laughed.

That was my cue.
We started to talk and he asked me where we were from. I said 'Sale, Manchester" and he corrected me.

"You mean Cheshire, don't you?"
"Yes of course," I smiled. "How do you know Sale?"

He went on to name four of the churches in the area. I was intrigued.
"Are you a vicar?" I asked.

He turned and smiled, 'Yup! Dead giveaway, huh?"

We had a lovely chat and I shared my picture with him. He was thrilled as earlier that day he and his son had been talking about just that picture of Moses in the Bible - being hidden in the cleft of the rock. He was very encouraged and strengthened by the picture.
It was a really special and beautiful conversation, half way up a mountain, with a total stranger who also loved Jesus.

How wonderful God is, that he even gives us cues because of queues!

Loving Children - 31st May 2011

I have wonderful memories of my Grandpa. He wasn't perfect, but he was very precious to me. I liked his character a lot. Although he was apparently quite prone to temper as a younger man, he mellowed in old age. He was in his eighties when I was born. He was friendly, fun and wonderfully Irish!

He used to let me climb up on a stool behind him and pretend to cut his hair. He was totally bald on top, but had dark hair under his ears and round the back of his head. He uses to like me combing it and asking him daft questions, pretending to be a hairdresser.

He would giggle in his twinkling Irish way and through his beautiful Dublin accent say 'Hush child!" whenever I got too noisy. Grandpa always had time for children and he would bend down to welcome them and hug them.

'I love Jesus' words in Mark 10:14. It feels as though I have always known them and stood by them. "Let the little children come to Me..."
To put them in context, here is part of the story Mark shares:

'They brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me."...And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them' (vv. 13-16 NKJV).

What a picture of favour and blessing this is! I love it!
As a child we were annual visitors at a Beach Mission in the Isle of Man. In the headquarters of the Team, a wonderful place of whispered grace and shouted praise, Dublin House, there was a huge painting of this scene. In it, Jesus was depicted inundated with children of every size and colour and every background. I remember gazing at it during Bible studies and thinking how wonderful my Jesus was!

Jesus was never too busy for a child. Lots of grown-ups are, especially ones who have sermons to preach and sick people to heal. They can forget the little people.

I have heard it stated that by the time a child is five they've learned 75 per cent of everything they'll know in life. And by the time they're 18 their mind is set like a mould. I don't believe this wholeheartedly, because it denies that God can change anyone and anything!

But I do know that how children are treated has huge impact on who they become as adults. Whenever I pray with someone, I regularly find God leading me to ask questions about their childhood, parents and schooling. Often there are clues here as to why people behave the way they do and why they believe certain things about themselves. Whenever people pray for me about deep things, the questions inevitably delve into childhood too.

Even if we don't have any children of our own, we can influence the children around us and show them how important they are. We can endeavour to be a role model to every child who crosses our path. We can literally and spiritually lift them as Jesus did!

Jesus also admired children for their capacity to trust. We adults know so much, but believe so little don't we? We can be so cynical and untrusting! We so complicate faith. We filter it through our intellect or our life's experiences. We rationalise our faith away by saying things like, 'Yes, I know God promised that, BUT...'

Hear these words again that Jesus said, 'Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it' (v. 15 NKJV). Jesus loved and encouraged children. 'He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.'

Whenever Jesus takes me in His arms I never forget it! I am sure those children felt the same. Imagine looking back to a moment in your life when the Lord picked you up, held you in His arms, laid His hands on you and blessed you. What a wonderful sense of mercy and grace this gives! In this busy world, if you're serious about becoming more like Jesus, I honestly believe you must learn to love children. And go out of your way to show it.

Friends - 27th May 2011

The Lord wants to be your protector, but He can't if you are busy trying to protect yourself.

He also wants to be your healer. But He can't heal you if you are trying to heal yourself.

God didn't promise that you would never get hurt, but He promised to heal you if you come to Him rather than trying to take care of everything on your own.

So much holds us back from being honest with ourselves, God and others. Sometimes it is pride, sometimes fear. A friend of mine (very outwardly confident and beautiful) admitted to both of those very things today.

There is a lot that seeks to hold us back; a lot that tries to weigh us down. We are not meant to shoulder it alone but with the help of God (and our friends).

Sometimes we make the mistake of saying, 'No one can hurt me if I don't let anyone get close to me.' But my experience is that this simply doesn't work. The wall we've built up to keep others out has ended up locking us in!

There is real freedom in vulnerability.

I have known our friends Ian and Jen for 20 years. There is nothing hidden from them. They know pretty much all there is to know - even things I would have preferred to keep hidden! Deep trust built up over years and years has meant I can be myself (flaws and fears and all) with them. I am confident they love me anyway.

This kind of friendship is the basis of much true healing in my life. I pray that it is similarly so for you and that you have the miracle of loving Christian friends walking next to you.

Encounter - 24th May 2011

I don't really know how to describe Saturday. It was certainly not anything I had imagined or designed myself!!

I was hoping that we could meet as a small team beforehand. But one guy was stuck in a meeting, one was stuck in traffic and another stuck with a diary engagement he couldn't get out of. I felt fine though, but knew it was down to me to 'create' the atmosphere!!

I spent the first half an hour praying favour from God over the place and going as near as I dared to the surprisingly huge numbers of Police in the square, to pray that they would not stop us or move us on. (We had no license to perform) Then the team of Canadians gathered to do their street drama. I gave them all some salt and sent them off all over the gardens. They sprinkled it all over the ground as a symbol of purity and of God preserving and marking out the city for His plans and purposes.

One of the people who said he wasn't coming, then arrived (YAY!) and we planted some scriptures in the ground.

The earth is the Lord's and everything in it...

They shall be a planting for the Lord's splendour...

We also prayed that we would be heard about the deafening group of native American Indians who were playing nearby!

As we were talking and getting ready, a young girl of about 15 came up to me and asked what we were doing. She wanted to know if we were part of the 'christian camp' that believed that the end of the world was going to happen that day. I said I did not believe that and ended up sharing part of my testimony with her and her best friend. ( I was amazed that God gave me that opportunity before we had said or done ANYTHING!)

The drama began. As soon as they did so, the Indian band appeared to get hungry and went off for lunch. Perfect! The drama gathered a small crowd, some of whom filmed the entire thing on their phones or camcorders. It was simple and worked well in the open air. The costumes were clear and as there were no words, it was universally understood. The team had brought a speaker with them so that the accompanying music could be heard.


About 60 people gathered, most staying for five minutes or so, but some staying the full 25 minutes of the presentation. Two policeman watched the entire performance without commenting or complaint! The team chatted and prayed with a couple of people afterwards.

Then we sang 'Amazing Grace' as passers-by looked on.
Another couple arrived from church to pray and I gave them some salt to pray with too. At the end, God gave me some specific words for people on the team, which was encouraging for me and, I hope, for them.

It was certainly a very odd beginning to Encounter, but powerful none-the-less. I am excited by what God is doing and by how He worked in this situation to bring His light and hope to the streets of Manchester.

I wondered how long it would take me to bring 60 guests to our church. I worked out that it would be about half a year. How lovely that that many people got to see at least part of a powerful gospel presentation.

We will see what Encounter leads to over the next few months!

Promises Promises... - 23rd May 2011

Good morning.
I don't know how you are feeling today.
I was going to share with you about Encounter, but then I was praying and reading my Bible notes for the day, and they felt... well, more important to share with you somehow. The following is based on what I have read from UCB -although I am adding my own thoughts in with it too! (Let's face it, I wouldn't be me if i didn't!!)

I know that I have written many times on the subject of God's promises and how they will ALWAYS come to pass. But somehow I needed to remind myself of this today.

Many of us spend almost all of our time caring for others, building up other people's ministries, working for others, or facilitating other people's dreams. This can, in and of itself be our calling.

But there are some seasons where we are called to build things ourselves; things that we have been dreaming about and called to do.

Whether you are in a time of building your own 'thing' or helping build someone else's, God speaks a word over you today. It is this:
'I will remember my covenant...' (Genesis 9:15)

God has a great memory! If He has sown a seed, He will always remember where He has planted it and how often it needs watering in order for it to flourish and grow.

The rain of the flood was a symbol of God's sadness about His world and His judgement upon it. But after the flood God spoke out, '...Never again...' (Genesis 9:15 NKJV). He told Noah, '...the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you... the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy...' (Genesis 9:14-15 NKJV).

From that point on in Scripture, rain became not a symbol of judgement or God's sadness, but of huge and abundant blessing! '
..."I will... open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it"' (Malachi 3:10 NKJV).

Are you afraid that the heartache and confusion of your past is going to return? Don't be! Just keep walking with the God who promised, 'Never again!' When God uses the thing that should have destroyed you to develop you, you'll look back and say, 'It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes' (Psalm 119:71 NKJV).

Without hard times you wouldn't have discovered certain things; for example, that stress can create in you a passion to seek God more and other things less; the power of your own prayers; what God can accomplish in spite of adversity; that when He heard you crying, your tears were so precious that He collected them in his bottle (Psalm 56:8);that the angel of the Lord protected you when the enemy wanted to take you out (Psalm 34:7); that God didn't need your friends to support you in order to bless you and that He brought you through, because He saw the rainbow and remembered His promise.

Today remember that God remembers you and what He has said over you. This is the most important fact you will read today!

May God bless you in all your endeavours for Him.

Encounter - 20th May 2011

When we first came here last July, God began to speak to me about setting up a prayer and worship thing called 'Encounter' in the city.

I have waited and waited until I got the 'go of God' and am pleased to tell you that tomorrow is the first one!!!

We are meeting at Piccadilly Gardens from 12pm - 2pm where we will be praying for people, praying for the city and joining in with a team of people over from Canada on mission.

I can't wait, as I feel miracles will happen!

I will blog and let you know:)

Life ain't fair - 19th May 2011

This week, my analytics site that keep track of where these blogs are read and how many people access them, has gone horribly wrong. It is telling me that only one person has read this site in the entire last 12 months. And that this reader is in Brazil!

I know this isn't true, but it has still bothered me a bit. Mainly because it annoys me when things go wrong.

How we react when life isn't fair, or doesn't go smoothly tells people a great deal about us. If we care more about our reputation than the issues, or about how we feel than others feel, it will show.

This week one of our best friends came over to share what is going on in his life at the moment. We sat and chatted for an hour or two. There are some big, big things happening over him right now, things he cannot control. But instead of getting annoyed or stressed, he is filling his life with praise. It is a very beautiful thing to watch. And very humbling.

How do you react when things go badly for you? Do you spend your energy blaming God or yourself? Do you shout and wail? Do you curl up in a corner and go silent?

We all have our ways of coping with crisis.

I am learning that there are going to be people who don't like what I do, don't care for what I think and don't appreciate what I say. And that's fine. I am also learning that life will not always be simple, straightforward and a bed of roses. That's fine too.

My job is to carry on anyway. I am not meant to listen to those who pull me down or belittle what God is doing in me. Yes, it is good to have correction. But it is not good to have rejection. There is a BIG BIG difference.

So we will need to determine which is which.
if you have been rejected by someone and that is still impacting you today, I pray healing and wholeness into that situation right now.
If you sense God's correction over an issue in your life, then I pray for the ripening of the fruit of the spirit that you need to help you in that situation.

May God increase your maturity and mine in this season. Life isn't fair and we must react with godliness and grace.

More guest bloglets - 16th May 2011

if you visit the worship24:7 site today there are a few more little blogs there to read...
Enjoy:)

Bethlehem - 16th May 2011

This weekend, Jon and I went to a very funny Eurovision Party. Each of the guests was given a country and asked to provide food or drink from that place for everyone to enjoy.

People really went to town -( even if that town was Brashov.)

Jon was given Estonia. Not an easy country to find food from, let me tell you. In our research for his course, I came across this fact.

Instead of wishing others "bon appetit", when eating, Estonians are prone to say "jätku leiba" ("may your bread last"). Estonia has never been a land of plenty. If a piece of bread is dropped on the floor, it is considered good form to pick it up, kiss it to show respect, and eat it. Perhaps our family is secretly Estonian? At any rate, we pretty much have the same policy!

This "may your bread last" reminded me of the Lord's prayer, "give us today our daily bread." As I am sure you will know, Jesus referred to himself as the 'bread of life.' He was also born in Bethlehem which means "House of bread." He asked that whenever we eat bread we remember him.

This evening, we will be leading communion for our grow group. I will be encouraging them to speak "May your bread last" to one another as a sign of our desire to grow deeper into the bread of life that is Jesus.

May your spiritual bread last, not just for today, but for eternity.

Heavy - 13th May 2011

I am reliably informed by Stephen Fry that the word "lard" comes from the ancient Greek for 'dainty'.
Hilarious! You couldn't write it! (Although I just did... and of course, so he did he. Darn!)

This morning Tom was in fine voice. At full throttle, whilst putting away some crockery from the dishwasher, he was singing, "Our God is a great big God..."

When he got to the verses, the words seemed to get a bit, well, hazy...
Truth be told, I sensed a bit of poetic license:

"He's higher than a submarine and he's deeper than a kangaroo..."

After which we were treated to the line,
"He's wider than a big strong girl..."

I am not sure that the writer of this song penned those actual lines?!
I am heartily sure that God is ALL of these things. (It would be hard not to be higher than a submarine and deeper than a kangaroo, especially if you were God. So fair play.)

I LOVED the implication that God is wider than a big strong girl though. That made Jon and I roar with laughter. I have blogged before that we don't allow the children to call anyone *fat.* We use the word 'strong' instead. Remember? So what Tom was singing made total sense to him.
Not only is God higher than submarines and has more girth than a kangaroo (even a strong one) He is also wider than the most rotund girl Tom could ever imagine. Surely that is impressive to a small boy?!

We can very easily forget the size and the majesty of God. We can look at our lives and the issues we face; the crumbling relationship, the church politics, the health issue, the business failure, the car breakdown or whatever is facing us... we can make that bigger than God in our minds.

Remind yourself today that God is deeper than a kangaroo and wider than a big strong girl!
Whatever you face, He is heavy enough to displace it. He is able! He is willing! He is with you! He is on your side!

An aside... - 11th May 2011

A lovely friend sent me this the other day. It was the prophetic word of the day that she received a few days ago... It rather tied into the blogs of the last few days. Thanks Ruthie!

"Wake up, My beloved, and be renewed. Arise to a place of life and energy both spiritually and naturally. I will come to you like the rain that refreshes and softens the ground of your heart to allow My expression of life and growth. It is indeed time to break up the fallow ground of your heart, those places that have become hardened and unproductive as a result of difficult challenges. Allow Me to remove the darkness of the past and flood you with the light of My love and hope, says the Lord."

Hosea 10:12 Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD, till He comes and rains righteousness on you.

Jealous - 11th May 2011

The last few days I have had a song in my head. It has literally followed me around and been there every time I have had a break in activity or conversation. I am sure I have driven my family (not to mention neighbours!) bonkers by singing it every five minutes at the top of my voice!

It's not a new song; "How He loves" by Kim Walker-Smith is some years old now. Some of the lyrics are, frankly, a tad odd. They don't sit with me and I certainly would not have penned them. But there is something SO powerful about the song, and these strange poetic words, none-the-less.

See what you think...

"He is jealous for me
loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
and how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us, how He loves us so

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves


We are his portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So, heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how he loves."

If you don't know the song, check it out on Youtube.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps

It takes a while to crank up... and she sings the first few verses almost too low in her voice range...but you see why later:)

We think of jealousy as a negative, destructive emotion much of the time. But the opening line of this song is about God's jealousy for us.
What does this mean?

His jealousy is His love, His undying protection, favour, blessing, inheritance, legacy, promises and grace. It is His covering, His overshadowing, His mercy and freedom. It is His character and His heart.

God is jealous for us - not in response to some threat, but all the time. He will brook no rival. He will countenance no-one else sharing His rightful place on the throne of our lives.

I praise God today for His jealous care for me. Where would I be without His love? Where would I be without His care and protection?!

He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh How He loves!

Father, thank you that we are safe in your care. Thank you that You mind very much who we talk with and how we relate to others. Thank you for your covering and protection at this time. Thank you for saving us from cul-de-sacs and wasted years. Thank you for hiding us from time-wasting and ineffective projects. Thank you for saving the best 'til last. Thank you for your holy, beautiful, white-hot jealousy that saves us from being loved by those who can hurt us. Teach us to guard our hearts today and keep us grounded and strong in You. If we are waiting, teach us to wait well. If we are working, teach us to work well. If we are longing, teach us to long without frustration and to know that You are jealous for us.

Amen

What kind of ground are you? Blog 3 of 3 - 10th May 2011

This is the last in my series on this....

Today I am looking at busy or cluttered soil. This may not just be ground that is overgrown with weeds; it may also be ground that has TOO MANY GOOD THINGS trying to grow at once.

In my life, clutter happens very easily. Unless you know me very well, you will not know that I am naturally extremely untidy. When I am cooking, I forget to put things away as I go. My kitchen ends up looking like the inside of a skip and then I have a mammoth task in undoing it all and making right. Jon despairs through a hearty laugh and a 'whisk it all into the bin' policy...

A close friend and I joke that we are 'transformational tidiers!' We let things get really rather terrible, before applying the elbow grease needed to make everything clean again.

But clutter comes into our lives in other ways.
1. Things we have borrowed but are not ours and have yet to be returned.
2. Things people have left by mistake.
3. Things we need to throw out but haven't yet had time to.
4. Things we can't bear to throw out because they remind us of something precious.
5. Things other people bring to our homes, that they like, but we don't.

My house is crammed with such things!
Our lives can be too.
Perhaps you have 'borrowed' someone else's ministry and forgotten to give it back? Maybe someone once suggested you for the prayer team, or the creche and you keep doing it but really feel God leading you somewhere else... Imagine who you are stopping from serving because of your cluttered life?

Cluttered soil is dangerous because it's so subtle. Perhaps, like me, you need to do some soil analysis and weed out anything that's hindering your spiritual growth. It could be that even your greatest successes at the moment are overshadowing the new things God is raising up.

Weeding can be tedious, but only then can you see what is growing and what needs to be cut back or rooted out.

Father, as we seek to serve You in these days, make us wise to the things we need in our soil. Help us to be on the look-out for the things which distract us and clutter up the surfaces of our lives. Teach us the difference between things we are growing and things YOU are growing in us. Help us to be totally ruthless if we find something that is the enemy of your good purposes in us.

Guest Blog - 9th May 2011

If you visit the Integrity site worship24-7 today, there are a couple of blogs from me there too. Click on

http://www.worship24-7.com/


But much more importantly, check out some of the amazing resources they have.

Jesus Culture's Album 'Come Away' is superb. I recommend two copies. One for you and.... another one for you.
The new book, "The God Lab" is a stunning piece of new, innovative and deliciously clever but simple writing.

Again two copies works well. I have one upstairs and one downstairs. ha ha!

What kind of ground are you? Blog 2 of 3 - 9th May 2011

Last week I started a series of three blogs on the subject of what kind of soil we are. Today I am focussing on superficial soil.

In Jesus' day much of the farmland was just a few inches of topsoil over rock, with nothing much to sustain the roots.

Many of us can be like this. We can look the part, wear the christian smile and know the right songs. We can teach our children bible stories, turn up for prayer meetings and make cakes for charity events. We can love our vicar and order things from Cath Kidston catalogues and know how to make Jam. Deep down however there can be great big gaps in our belief systems and very little going on in our faith.

If storms come and wash away the top soil and the veneer is gone, there is nothing much left.

Superficiality is one of the curses of our age. We live in a world of shallow relationships, superficial conversations, and hurried moments of prayer. We bounce from one spiritual activity to another without any real root system. We can totally miss Jesus in all the activity of doing things for Him.

Let me give you an example: last week's Royal Wedding. Thousands of people worldwide wasted decent minutes of their lives bothering to be part of a group on facebook ridiculing Eugenie's brave hat choice, rather than dwell on the real substance of the day.

I have some thoughts on this:
1. I loved her hat. I thought it was a brilliant piece of creative lunacy designed to be fun and provoking. Good on you Eug!
2. If the owner of the hat had been a model, everyone would have loved it.
3. I cared more about what William and Kate do with their lives and the promises they made to each other than whether or not his cousin's millenary attire resembled a pretzel.

But it is easy to get sucked in to such trivia.

Lord forgive us for spending time on things that do not matter.
Help us to trust you with the big and little things of our lives and to be aware of which are which.
Help us not to be superficial soil, but to be deep enough for You to plant Your secret and amazing dreams within us. Amen

Strange dream! - 5th May 2011

Ok, so the weirdest conversation just happened.
I was walking to school to pick up my boys when a lady walked up to me. I don't know her. I say hello to her every day as she picks up her children from a different school.
Today she came towards me with a strange look on her face.

"I dreamt about you last night!" she said, in a loud, quite aggressive voice. "I am really stressed at the moment because I am moving house and in my dream, you came up to me with your buggy and your kids and shouted at me not to be afraid and then you were really nice to me."

I listened rather incredulously to her and smiled.

"That sounds like me," I said.
"Who ARE you?" she said. "Why would you say that to me?"

Instead of answering her, I said, "What do you need?"
She looked puzzled but answered.
She listed a number of things, mainly kitchen items including a dishwasher.
"Ok. Well you have a dishwasher." I said.
"No. I don't actually!" she replied.
"Yes you do. Because I have two and I am going to give you one of mine," I told her.

She looked thoroughly confused.
"Why would you do that?" she asked.
"Because I can," I said as I walked away.
Twenty minutes later, I prayed that I would run into her again. I did.
She gave me her card and laughed at how strange our meeting was.

She was amazed at what happened.
What I have yet to tell her is that I asked around in the playground. I also now have a microwave and a TV for her.

Imagine her surprise when all that turns up in her new house?!

I sense the fragrance of Jesus!

What kind of ground are you? - 5th May 2011

For the next couple of days, I am going to be asking the question above.

The seed of God's Word is always productive, continually at work.
The only variable is the depth and capacity of our hearts - the state of the "soil." In the parable of the sower Jesus discusses different kinds of ground. Today, I am thinking about compacted hard soil and how we become similarly tough.

In Bible times, as still today, hard footpaths ran alongside a farmer's land. Any seed falling there would just shrivel and die. There was no softness for the seed to take root. It could not penetrate the hardened sun-baked earth.

We need to be careful! If we've been walked on, hurt or disappointed, we can become like this. We can develop a tough, impenetrable shield that makes it easy for the enemy to come along and snatch the seed of God's Word before it even has the chance to grow.

So what if you have been hurt? How do you avoid becoming hard?
One of the most powerful weapons is that of forgiveness.
If you choose not to let what someone has done to you ruin your life, that not only frees them, but also you.
Forgiveness is not cheap. It is hard work and sometimes needs to be revisited if old resentments rise up again.

In my own life with things that hurt me, I have had to choose again and again the path of forgiveness. Each time I feel sadness, self-pity or resentment building I confess it and ask God to remove it. I experience instant spiritual relief!

Secondly, prayer will keep hardness from building up, so '...break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord...' (Hosea 10:12 NIV).
If you know there are weaknesses in you, seek the Lord. You don't always need to do this with others (although that can help) You need to turn your face to Him and seek His ways and wisdom. Like descaling your kettle to prevent the build-up of limescale, prayer softens the water of your heart and takes away your unhelpful, ungodly attitudes and mindsets.

Thirdly, guard your heart. This does not mean stop yourself from being vulnerable but to take care of your emotions. When you guard something, you value it and treasure it. You don't allow it out of your sight. Like I said a few months back, we are meant to love as though we won't get hurt.

Fourthly, do not rehearse the past. Do not allow yourself to dwell on what has happened or ESPECIALLY what might have been. This is not just a waste of time, it is a direct ploy of the enemy to stop you focussing on the saving magnificent grace of God who has a perfect plan for your heart and your life.

Examine your heart today and ask God what kind of soil you are.

Father, today I want to be soft towards You. I want You to be able to plant Your good seed in me and let it flourish and grow. May everything that could block or stop that be removed from my spirit and may I be a safe place for Your ideas to germinate and develop. For Your glory.
Amen

Message from God - 4th May 2011

God appeared to Solomon that very night and said, "I accept your prayer; yes, I have chosen this place as a temple for sacrifice, a house of worship. If I ever shut off the supply of rain from the skies or order the locusts to eat the crops or send a plague on my people, and my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I'll be there ready for you: I'll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health.

From now on I'm alert day and night to the prayers offered at this place. Believe me, I've chosen and sanctified this Temple that you have built: My Name is stamped on it forever; my eyes are on it and my heart in it always. As for you, if you live in my presence as your father David lived, pure in heart and action, living the life I've set out for you, attentively obedient to my guidance and judgments, then I'll back your kingly rule over Israel—make it a sure thing on a sure foundation. The same covenant guarantee I gave to David your father I'm giving to you, namely, 'You can count on always having a descendant on Israel's throne."

I read these words this morning in The Message (2 Chronicles 7:14) and felt encouraged and enlivened. God is at work in our land. Just yesterday I was talking to close friends who were telling me about a conference in London of 45,000 people praying for revival in our nation. They also told me of local churches thriving and bursting at the seams. They told me of other conferences dying through lack of prayer, focus and humility.

If we humble ourselves and seek the Lord, HE WILL HEAR US and HE WILL HEAL OUR LAND.

Fling wide - 3rd May 2011

The door bounced back on its hinges in the strong wind as the boys breathlessly threw it open.
They were running in and out of the garden, keeping a check on the BBQ that Jon was manfully trying to keep lit in the wind, and my progress with the rest of the food in the kitchen.
They must have opened the door like this 20 times in about 5 minutes.
"Shut the door!" I shouted for the 8th time..."You're letting all the wind in."

Misty Edwards sings an amazing song. A friend sent me the lyrics the other day in a very prophetic and wonderful email:

Fling wide the door to my soul
Open up the door to my heart
Have your way, have your way
Have your way yeah

I won’t be afraid
I will face the wind
I won’t be afraid
I'll embrace the flame

Let the winds blow

Fling wide the door to my soul
Open up the door to my heart
Have your way, have your way
Have your way yeah

Take me through the fire
Take me through the rain
Take me through the testing
I’ll do anything
Test me try me prove me refine me
Like to gold, like to gold

Perhaps we are meant to face the wind today and not be afraid of the unknown. We are meant to let the spirit in.

Take some time out today and listen to this song on youtube. Ask God to fling wide the gates to your soul.

Why the Lord sometimes closes doors - 30th April 2011

Have you ever wondered why it is that God closes off certain avenues for us; avenues that we long for, pray for and feel would be good for us? I have been battling with this recently.

It feels as though God has taken some very long-for and precious things from my life. But I am taking heart from the beautiful story of Hannah.
Here was a perfectly sweet Godly woman, desperate for a child and yet we read:
"The Lord... closed her womb." 1 Samuel 1:5
That sounds harsh and cruel of God at first glance, doesn't it?
Sometimes God will only allow a door to open when we understand why it was shut in the first place.

Hannah wanted a son.
God knew that His people needed a prophet!
Poor dejected Hannah was not thinking BIG enough!

When she prayed, 'If you...give me a son, I will give him back to you all his life...' (1 Samuel 1:11 NCV), God not only gave her Samuel, but also six more children! (1 Samuel 2:5). That is the kindness and graciousness of Father!


When we pray for a harvest, God will ask us to sow a seed for Him. That seed may be something or someone you love and want to cling to, but don't! Rather, surrender it to God. He knows what He is doing. If you never get it back, you never needed it in the first instance. If you do get it back it will be in the timing and will of God and you will have learnt what He needed you to learn in the process.


Hannah discovered she couldn't be satisfied with less than God's will. Even though her husband Elkanah had two wives, and loved Hannah the most and granted her 'a double portion' of his possessions (1 Samuel 1:5) that wasn't what she wanted.

I desperately want to serve God in these days and with all I am. I will continue to wait on Him and seek His face. I am not interested in double portions of the favour of people -although that is nice - its not of eternal value.

I am praying that God shows me how to dream HIS dreams and not my own. Sometimes even my really big dreams and just far too small!

The Chase - 29th April 2011

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in a sport dress, a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but a teeny sporty dress, Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge terrifying muscular guy standing there wearing an army outfit and huge running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

The Bible says in Psalm 23 that God chases after us with His goodness and mercy. He pursues you to bless you. Slow down and let Him do it today!

Let Him catch you! You are HIS!

A little goes a long way - 28th April 2011

She sat by herself looking as though she was about to cry. Her son continued to mouth off at her and tell her how much he despised her. I heard him say four times, "I hate you! I wish you weren't my Mum. You are a rubbish mum."

She did not react or retaliate. She waited until he had calmed down and then asked him to apologise and hug her. He told her what to do with her hug and her apology. So she retreated and waited some more. Eventually, he sidled up to her and asked her to hold him.

I watched all of this from the other side of the play area at the farm we were visiting. Later on I took the opportunity to sit down with this lady and tell her what an amazing woman she was.

"Why?" she said, genuinely amazed that I was commenting on her embarrassingly loud misbehaving child.

"Because you are doing everything right. You are not rewarding his bad behaviour or making it worse. You are patiently waiting until it is over before allowing your son to make good choices again. I think you are brilliant!"

I think she was a bit surprised! So was I! It was a bit impertinent of me really. But I sensed something of God in it so said what was on my heart.

Ryan was on the autistic spectrum and also had anger management issues. That much was plain. His mother was on the "I'm on the edge" spectrum and also had self-image issues. That much was plain too. She was teary as I spoke to her but clearly very grateful I had bothered.

I saw her later in the day and she waved at me cheerfully. I honestly felt as though something I said had buried itself into her spirit and secured itself somewhere. I pray so. Little things can mean a lot.


This morning I was writing a list of all the things I need to buy today in preparation for the Royal Wedding event we are helping to organise at church. I asked Jon if we had any blutac. Tom overheard and interrupted. "My teacher has a whole pavement of gluetac Mummy!' he said, enthusiastically. "You could ask her for some."

The thought of a whole pavement full of GLUEtac (surely a much better name?) made me smile. I actually only need a teensy bit.

Whenever I prepare a large event, I always need tiny things to make the finishing touches work. Flowers for the toilets. Bluetac for signs. Confetti for tables. You know the sort of thing? Just little things that make people smile and feel cared for. A little can go a long way.

I want you to think about something recently that was said to encourage you. My guess is that it wasn't a thesis, or even a paragraph. It may have been something little, said in passing; two or three words...
"Job well done, Amazing! Thank you; You're a star! Aren't you lovely?..." but it will have lodged in your brain or your spirit and made you feel loved, appreciated and cared for.

A little goes a long way.

This week as part of a text to us someone said "You guys are inspirational!" It meant heaps to me.

There is an art in both giving and receiving compliments. If someone tells you your hair looks nice, say "Thank you - that's sweet of you." Not "Really?I think it needs a cut!" Don't undermine their opinion. Accept it and enjoy it!

Giving compliments to others is easy. Just look closely! See what they might be thinking or doing that God likes and just speak out what you think is great.
Make it your business to find someone today who needs a little bit of your time and attention and notice them. Be kinder than you need to be. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.

A little goes a long, long way!

To lie or to lay? - 27th April 2011

"There is a big difference between a mattress and an altar."
That won't come as a big shock to you. It did come as a shock to me because of who said it. That phrase is something God spoke to me in the quiet of my heart last week. A kind of 'out of nowhere' word.

I was talking to Him about how I was feeling about my life and He repeated that phrase: "There is a big difference between a mattress and an altar."

I asked Him to spell it out for me, as I wasn't sure exactly what He was driving at.
He showed me a picture of an altar- hard, stone, unyielding and barren. Nothing comfortable, easy, clean or cosy here. Then I saw the thick mattress on my bed. The tall, deep, just the right amount of hardness v softness place to lay my head. It is comforting, comfortable and easy. Not the place of sacrifice.

I looked again into my imagination and saw the stone altar. I remembered the many times Abraham and others built altars to God in the Old Testament as a sign of what He had done, or was about to do. Altars are not comfortable places to lie on. They are empty places. Places where dreams, hopes, fears and trust is laid.


There is a big difference between lying down and giving up, and laying down and giving it UP to God.
Today I sense that I am not meant to lie down in bodily comfort, but lay down in complete faith those things in my spirit that seek to trouble me.

Altars are actually very good for that.
What do you need to place on that Altar today? Your children? Your career? Your mortgage? Your health? Your eating disorder? Your porn addiction? Your deceit? Your fears? Your dream?
Thank you God that You will keep us in perfect peace when our hearts are stayed on You.

Help us lay down and give whatever we need UP to You today. Amen

The Password - 26th April 2011

Last week I arrived in the school playground a little earlier than usual and got chatting to a guy we know. He spent the next ten minutes (although it seemed like 20) telling me how hard he works and how rubbish his life is. Nothing I said made any difference to his mood.
When the children came out of the school doors I couldn't get away fast enough! He totally drained me and I felt exhausted. The thing is, he seemed determined to look at the negative, difficult things about his life and refused to see beyond them.

I don't know what is going on in your world today. I don't know whether you are about to go into hospital for an operation, or whether you are mourning the loss of a child, or struggling because you are being made redundant. I don't know how you feel. Perhaps you are being forced to sell your house and move because of circumstances changing for you. Maybe you are contemplating a new life. Perhaps you are living with a new loss. I don't know. But I do know this: There is something you can do today to change how you feel and change, not necessarily your circumstances, but your attitude to them.

Read with me this amazing Psalm from the Bible (The Message version)

Psalm 100

1-2 On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.

3 Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.

4 Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.

5 For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.

Join me today in standing up to applaud our God. He is infinitely intricate in His plans for you. He knows who you are, what you do, and what you need. He is able to provide ALL things to work together for your good. So bring Him a gift today. Not your money. Not your time. Not your energy. Bring Him your laughter! Show Him that you know He is in control. Smile with Him. Enjoy Him and sing yourself into His presence. Use the password 'THANK YOU!'

The older version of this Psalm declares in verse 2 "Serve the Lord with gladness." There is no higher calling than to serve.
Hudson Taylor, founder of the China Inland Mission, once said, 'I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. Finally I ended up asking Him to do His work through me.'

What a prayer!
God, do Your amazing work through me! Amen

Great Friday - 23rd April 2011

I am not a big fan of communion wafers. If I was on Facebook, I wouldn't have a fanpage dedicated to them. But I do like the fact that some of them have pictures on. I don't want you to think that I am greedy, but yesterday I had communion twice. In my first communion I was given a wafer (YUK) with a cross on it (YAY) But I actually liked it. The simple symbolism hit me in a deep way. Eating the meaning of Easter. Allowing the cross to penetrate the body. Taking in something of the story and the meaning and the purpose...

It was a very good 'Good Friday' for me. During the day we met up with two families of close friends, whom we have adopted as family, for a picnic in the blazing sunshine and the kids had an Easter Egg Hunt. Seriously. What's not to like?!

Then we got home just in time for me to dash over to my parents to share communion with them and their vicar. It was a really beautiful and special time to pray and focus on the meaning of Good Friday and also to dedicate Mum to the Lord before her operation on Tuesday to remove the second cancer in her eye.

As we sat in silence, Gerry anointed each of us with oil and prayed over us. She prayed some very specific and enlightened prayers for us, including ones for my voice and ministry. Gulp.

I then got back in time to help bath the children and share a time of family communion with Jon and the boys. We asked them to serve one another the bread and wine and say something to bless each other. It was an absolutely unforgettable thing to watch them speaking into each other's little lives. "Don't forget Jesus died for you Tombie."
"This is Jesus' blood to help you not forget him Benny..." Gulp again.

As I lay in bed last night and looked back over the day, I was very grateful for my Saviour, my family and my friends. Not in a sentimental, nostalgic way. No. In a tenacious, tender, loving way that I haven't experienced for a long while.

The word says that "By His stripes, we are healed." I think somehow, by focussing on Jesus the way God allowed me to yesterday, some more healing took place.

May you have an Easter where you know who you are, who you are loved by and why Jesus died for you.

Move over! - 21st April 2011

What you see depends on where you stand.
Just 90 degrees changes everything.
Change your perspective!

Radical faith - 20th April 2011

Why is it that some people seem to have more faith than others? Why do some people live on the heights, whilst others struggle in the depths of despair? It is nothing to do with circumstances. It is all about faith. I want to be a woman of faith, a woman who believes that God is a God of the improbable and impossible and ACTS like it! If you want the same, read on!

I believe it is very key to be honest with God about how I am and who I am. I am also incredibly specific with what I ask for. One of the things I am praying at the moment is that someone who dislikes me a lot eventually loves me so much that we become like family. I am believing God for it! I am choosing to speak peace and blessing over that person today. I sing over her. I pray and fast for her. I treat her in my mind as though it is already done. I believe God has already acted on my behalf in her life. I have no proof. Yet! But I will one blog of how God has turned this around. I WILL!

The Lord already knows what we need, but like a child going to their father, He wants us to ask Him. He longs for us to believe and not allow doubt to creep in. Think about who impressed Jesus the most. It was those who trusted most deeply and saw their total need of Him.
Our faith ushers Him closer to us!
So today, believe and don’t doubt! Believe in your heart that it’s already done in Jesus name and praise Him in advance for it.

We must also learn to receive. This is the thing I struggle with the most. I am a great giver. I like to give advice, prayers, cake, curtains, clothes, just about anything. But I sometimes find it tough to take from others.

Let me tell you something I am learning, if you are not a receiver, you won’t get what you ask God for. Simple. He won't force His blessing onto you. You need to make yourself ready and open to have it, His way, His time.

So today, start believing God to do the impossible. Believe Him for your failing business! Believe Him for that ruined relationship! Believe Him for your healing! Believe Him for your deliverance! Believe Him for the supernatural power you need! Believe Him for grace and forgiveness! Believe Him to bring your Prodigal child home! Believe Him to provide for you! Start believing and asking God for things that naturally doesn’t make any sense.

I have known people who prayed for God to give them money and they found the exact amount needed in their coffee jar. I have known people need an answer to a problem and see it on a billboard. I have known people who need a word and a stranger has walked up and said the exact word they needed.

God has done all of these things for me too. (Except my money was in an envelope on my doorstep)

If God can turn water into wine, if God can say, “Let there be light” and there was light…how much more are you (being his child) able to ask God for these things and He does it?

Help us have that kind of faith today Lord Jesus. Help us be radical and believe you for radical things today.
Amen

Welcome! - 19th April 2011

Hello to all new readers of this blog today from:
Guatemala,
Saudi Arabia,
Brazil,
Cyprus,
Turkey
USA
and Canada.
You are all very welcome to join my little site!

Father, may may we know You more clearly, love You more dearly and follow You more nearly, day by day.

Perfecting your swing - 19th April 2011

For reasons I cannot quite fathom, I played golf on my honeymoon. Those of you who know me personally will realise what a foolish thing this is to allow me to do. I have the ball skills of a gnat. Jon has since learnt.

Whilst on the first tee, I dug up rather ample sections of immaculate turf in my attempts to hit the ball. Jon, who shows great natural talent and promise at all ball-sports, was mortified and muttered terse comments under his breath. I infuriated him further by finding my antics hilarious. I became weak with laughter and even less likely to hit the teeny ball with my long pokey stick thing.
When I did finally hit the stupid thing, it went so far into a bushy area that we couldn’t find it. For half an hour.

It reminded me of the British Open Golf Commentator who, having watched a player retreating into thick undergrowth to find his ball said,
"That ball is so lost that even if it were wrapped in bacon, Lassie wouldn’t find it.”

There are some things that it is best not to try. For the sake of the nation, your health or your marriage. For me, golf comes under all of those categories. As does mechanics, and most forms of maths. However, there are certain things we are meant to try and try and try again at.

Think of something you are meant to be tenacious at right now. Is it a friendship you find difficult, or a work project? Perhaps it is a dream God has given you that appears to be going nowhere, or worse, backwards?

My sense is that you may not need to stop and do something else, but hold your club differently.
I have been spiritually ‘taking a swing’ at something for a while now. But nothing has happened. Yesterday, a lovely friend rang me and just gave me a totally different direction to head in. I realised that sometimes golf balls bend in the air with the wind and look like they are heading the wrong direction but end up on the green.

I am praying differently today about the same thing, but with a new direction to head in. I pray today that God ends the season of frustration for you too and allows you to hit that ball, clean, long and in the exact spot you need it to be.

Shame - 18th April 2011

I spent Sunday morning in a women's prison. One of the girls I mentor is a prison worker and had asked me to go in to speak and lead worship in the Chapel.
I had no idea what to expect. I spent hours in preparation for the event and had no revelation AT ALL from God as to what I should say. It was strange, and not to mention a little unsettling to arrive with no talk notes and just armed with my little Bible and my passport for identification.

But I knew God would tell me at just the right time what to say. He chose to wait until the door had shut behind the Chapel as the last person entered, to tell me to speak about shame.

As I looked out into the assembled group of women, their hard faces stared back at me with suspicion and, in some cases, resentment.
Life had not been kind to them and they had not been kind back. Hurt was visible on their faces- worries, fears, doubts and abuses had changed the shape of their countenance and sometimes their whole bodies. They sat awkwardly, unsure of me and what I was going to say.
Snap.
Then a couple started bantering with me.
"What you gonna sing then? Anything we know. We like a bit of kareoke we do!"

I bantered back and stood my ground, leading the first song. My voice was strong and sure and even though I was totally out of my comfort zone, I knew Jesus was with me.

"Love came down and rescued me...
I thank you..."

6 chattering loud girls got up laughing and walked out.

Then I relaxed. They were not the listening type. They would have stopped everyone else listening too.

I spoke about shame. I shared about how sometimes when people hurt us or we hurt others, what we are left with is a sense of deep unending powerful shame. As I spoke about abuse and rape, a couple at the back with hardened faces clung to each other, one of them openly weeping.

I spoke about how God dealt with my shame and showed me how to forgive others, live in the light of what He says about me and not what others say. More ladies started to cry, one rocking backwards and forwards.

I spoke from Psalm 25 about how God released my foot from a snare and asked the women to pray for God to release them from anything that held them back. They raised their hands out to receive from Jesus what He wanted to say to them.

8 ladies responded afterwards in a very moving time of worship and one gave her life to Jesus. She gets out of prison this week and I hope will make a fresh start away from the addictions that previously trapped her.

I hope they saw in me a hope for their future - a way of living that depended not on serving time, getting even, or looking after number one, but of service, devotion, forgiveness and worship.

What a privilege it is to work with those who have no-one else to turn to but the Lord and who trust a person they have never met to guide them to Him!

May I never lose sight of the purpose of my life - helping to seek and save the lost. Amen

Change your thinking - 15th April 2011

'...If anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.' Philippians 4:8

How many of us genuinely think we have more to worry about than others? The truth is, you and I do not have MORE problems than other people - maybe we just think about them more often!

Stop! Hang on a minute! Read that again. If you are feeling overwhelmed today, take a moment and consider why. What I am saying is this: It is what you allow yourself to THINK about that produces how you FEEL.

If you do not believe that, try getting angry without first having angry thoughts, or getting sad without first having sad thoughts. You cannot do it, can you? Similarly you can't be content, unless you think about all that God has given you.

To experience a feeling you must first have the thought that produces it. That is life-changing information my friends! It is knowledge the devil doesn't want you to have. If you change how you think you will change how you feel! Nothing can hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. (YOU) The truth is, it is your thinking that is negative not your life! Once you understand that you can get back on the path to contentment and happiness again.

But as with any change, it takes time. You probably did not become negative overnight and you won't become positive overnight. But you can start. How? By doing two things: First, by treating your negative thoughts in the same way you treat wasps at a picnic! Get them off your sandwich and don't allow them to land in your yoghurt!
Replace them with thoughts that are 'excellent and praiseworthy.' You have that choice!
Second, by thinking about God's goodness. David said, 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies' (Psalm 103:2-4).

My Mum was told yesterday that she has some more treatment needed as there is some more cancer present on her eye. Her attitude was wonderful. It was excellent and praiseworthy. She was full of faith and hope. Faced with bad news you have two choices. Feel bad about the bad news.
Feel good about the One who can handle any bad news.
Its easy. And hard.

My Grandad had a wonderful saying, "There's no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes."
Clothe yourself in truth today.

If you are serious about changing your life, start changing how you think!

Wise words - 14th April 2011

Last night I went to a prayer meeting. I love prayer meetings. You get to hang out with people you would never normally spend time with.

There is a man who goes to the meeting I go to. He looks like a Christian. In fact, like a Theology professor. I don't actually know what he does. He is earnest and wise and I love him.

He shared a beautiful passage of scripture last night that was so timely for us as we prayed. It was from Zechariah 2 about Jerusalem being a "city without walls."
[a]Then I looked up, and there before me was a man with a measuring line in his hand. 2 I asked, “Where are you going?”
He answered me, “To measure Jerusalem, to find out how wide and how long it is.”

3 While the angel who was speaking to me was leaving, another angel came to meet him 4 and said to him: “Run, tell that young man, ‘Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of people and animals in it. 5 And I myself will be a wall of fire around it,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will be its glory within.’

That word feels completely right for us as a church right now. And in a number of ways, it also accurately describes my life. There are few defining boundaries and few defining people. Things are open, interesting, varied and transitional. Not just for me. For a lot of people I know and love too.

The next part of the same scripture describes the Lord as being the boundary around us. He is the one who hems us in, behind and before. He is the one who places the boundary lines in pleasant places. It is He who defines us, not others, not our skills, experiences or circumstances.

I am so grateful to my sandal+sock=beard-wearing friend for this truth. How precious are God's words to us in season?! (Oh and ironically, this new season's must-wear item for men IS..... socks and sandals.)

Greek words and French proverbs - 13th April 2011

The ancient Greek word “tragomaskalos” means 'with armpits smelling like a he-goat'.
Surely that’s almost NEVER good!

Things aren’t always what they seem.
Sometimes, you will meet people who appear to be full of confidence, but they are, in fact, wearing an elaborate mask, hiding huge insecurity.
Sometimes, you will meet a seemingly ugly person outwardly, who has huge inner beauty.
I have also met people who are beautiful on the outside and completely foul inwardly.
Never so with God.
What you see is what you get with God. Every time.
He doesn’t look one way and act another.
He IS love. Therefore He acts with love. He responds lovingly. He initiates love. He pursues us with loving intent.
He doesn’t just look a bit like love one minute and then change when it suits Him.
Love is His culture, His setting, His appearance and His cellular make-up.
There is a delightful French proverb that goes thus:
“By candlelight, a goat looks like a beautiful lady.”
We can get caught out by others.
We can never get caught out by Him.
If we trust with all our hearts, we will find our trust richly, deeply and joyfully rewarded by a loving, tender Father.

True - whether we are as ugly as sin, or as beautiful as Jesus.

The Knowledge of Good - by BOB HAMP - 12th April 2011

I am very fortunate to introduce, for the first time, a guest blogger on my site.
May I commend to you a dear friend of mine, Pastor Bob Hamp. Bob is a counsellor, author, preacher, worship leader, husband and father who lives and works out in the States.
Bob and I have never met but had an amazing God-encounter over email one day. I read one of his blogs and left a comment about it. It tickled Bob because it had one of the funniest mis-spellings in all of history. I posted it before checking it and then kicked myself at how dense I would look. Staring in horror at the screen, it looked like I was suddenly speaking in tongues!
Rather than put Bob off, it made him laugh hard and began a rather lovely correspondence which has benefitted us both. A number of times we have been used by the Lord to speak accurately and prophetically into one another's lives. Bob's book 'Think Differently, Live differently' was by far the best book I read last year... the parable of the acrobat is just superbly superb.

Anyways (as they say in the US of A) over to BAB...


"The knowledge of good has done more to separate people from God than the knowledge of evil. This is what Rick Joyner says in his amazing book, “There were Two Trees in the Garden”. I couldn’t agree more. "The knowledge of evil is easily identifiable and therefore more easily resisted. Ironically it is often the knowledge of good that we use to resist or avoid that other branch."

Perhaps even more seductive is that the knowledge of good “is pleasing to the eyes and appears desirable for gaining wisdom”. The problem is that the knowledge of good appears…well…good. We always have to remember that the distinction between the two trees is their source. By it’s very nature the knowledge of good is initiated and completed solely from a human. The tree of life originates from and returns to God Himself. So even good that originates from man alone is good, but based on it’s root system it cannot create life. You cannot fill an empty gas tank by siphoning it’s contents and returning them to the tank. Emptiness is empty.

The more good we know, the more tempted we are to produce it on our own. Tending to this living conversation with God can be difficult. He is demanding (meaning He will not settle for less than the very best for us). He is unpredictable (meaning His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways). He won’t leave us alone (meaning He is engaged even when we would prefer to disengage). And the list could go on. So think through a day with me.

We know God wants us to commune with Him, and certainly people in our lives expect a certain amount of Godly behaviour from us. So we wake up in the morning and it is tempting to produce a “quiet time”. You know, some kind of structured time where we go through a variety of exercises which may or may not actually include communing with the Living God. At least we can convince others (or perhaps ourselves) that we have done the good that God wants. It started with me (I knew I should do it, and it seemed desirable to produce wisdom) it was empowered by me (Will power wins again). I learned some good knowledge (need I say more?) and it ends with me (I must now apply what I learned and have a better day…). And herein lies the danger; I now begin my day believing I have “met with God” and so I go on as if my tank is full, when it may not be. I’ve missed a chance to be real with God and acknowledge what I need from Him today. The knowledge of good has successfully separated me from partaking of the more sustaining fruit from the tree of life.

Now I have a class to teach, a ministry to perform, a worship set to lead, and I apply all the good that I know. I know that God wants me to do this, so I begin to produce some version of what I think He wants. I call on all my knowledge of good, and organise things just the way God did it last time. He ought to like that don’t you think? He did last week! In fact last week, He initiated it.

In many cases last weeks true experience can be this weeks knowledge of good.

Sometimes when our profession is ministry it practically screams at us to know good and produce a lot of it. It starts with us, and it returns to us (“you did a really great job with that class”…”thanks”). And of course we must help others learn to do the same. So now “discipleship” (another “good” thing that we should do) becomes us passing on to others our strategies for the good that we know to produce. I’ve missed a chance to show others that God is interested in a real dialogue…not a repetition of one we have had before, but a fresh conversation between a Father and a son.

Perhaps one of the most deadly places that our knowledge of good separates us from God is in relationships. We see someone coming our way and evaluate who they are and what they may think of us. Here comes the preacher, so we smile (the Joy of the Lord is our strength you know!) and tell him ” we are blessed”. (because we are supposed to be, so we dare not acknowledge if we are not) We smile and mask our pain with some piece of religious trivia, hoping our knowledge of good can get us through this exchange without our weaknesses being exposed. We finish and walk away, already beginning to drop our knowledge of who we should be and lamenting who we believe we really are. The tragedy is that we missed one more opportunity to really share who we really are with God and another potentially caring human being.

The face, the turn of phrase, the slightly too quick answer, that avoids really revealing my heart, all these are good things we learn to do because it is pleasing to the eye and seems desirable for gaining wisdom…and we miss out on the chance to drop all we know and simply be real...and receive life. I hate that tree, I wish it didn’t taste so good."

Memory sticks - 11th April 2011

Last week whilst on holiday I had an idea. One day I asked the boys to come into the forest area outside our holiday home and build a den with me. They began in earnest and we built an impressive structure. Each day Jon and I helped them add to it and make it stronger and more elaborate. We were all justly proud of our achievements! To top off our Bear Grylls moment, I made Nettle Soup. The boys dutifully drank it - although I think it was more of an endurance test than a pleasure!

A couple of days after we got home, I asked the boys what they had liked the most about the holiday. Was it the yummy food or the swimming pool, the cycling, or going on a pedalo, or playing on the beach? No, it was building the den. It was a totally free made-up-on-the-spur-of-the-moment activity! But it was time where Jon and I were totally theirs.

I thought about this afterwards and reflected on how easy it is to make memories for those around us. Sometimes we will make good memories that are happy and fun to recall. At other times we will be the cause of a painful or hurtful memory.

Perhaps today you and I can reflect on the kind of memories we want to make for others. Do we want to be the reason for someone to wince or do we want people to look back on that time with us as signifiant, spiritually refreshing, fun and nourishing?

Make some memories today. And perhaps don't bother with the nettle soup.

Free Fall - 9th April 2011

We were on holiday this week and had a wonderful time. One day in the swimming pool we discovered a deep slide into the water. I looked at the age restriction (3-15 years) and decided it would be safe for all three of my boys to try.

So I sent the bravest child down first on his own (with his swim jacket on.) It was much steeper and deeper than I thought. He arrived in swirling water totally terrified. I was still at the top.

Once he had surfaced, he started to scream in panic. There was only a small divide between the section he was in and the rapids for strong swimmers. I shouted 'Hold her!' to my Father-in-law, giving him Esther and ran down the steps, jumping into the water to grab my precious Ben.

"I'm so sorry darling!" I shouted as I clung to him. He continued to cry in my arms for a while until he got his breath back. To my total surprise, Tom, who had watched all this, decided that he now wanted a go. He found a small boy nearby who sweetly leant him a pair of goggles and he then launched himself down the slide, totally confident now that I was in the water to catch him.

Not to be outdone, Ben then decided that he too ought to have another, more dignified turn. All went well. Big smiles. Triumph and bravery!
Sam, not to be outshone, had six turns.
That evening we held a family award ceremony to encourage each other about new things we had done. Guess who got the bravery award?!

Challenges look very different when you know someone is going to catch you and has gone before.

There is nothing that you and I will ever face where God is not ahead, waiting for us. You may feel that you are sliding into the unknown at a pace you don't like, in a way you don't understand. Join the club!

But your Father has EVERLASTING arms. They are strong, powerful and ready and waiting for you. So just enjoy the ride. You are safe!

Clean break - 4th April 2011

Father,
Thank you today that you know my heart. Nothing is hidden from you.
Thank you that you know my desires, my fears, my hurts.
Thank you that you understand things I do not have even the tiniest grasp of.
Your love for me is not swayed by my circumstances, my will, my knowledge or my faith. It is not impressed by my desires, my passions or my words. It does not change depending on who I am with, what I am reading or what I sing.
You are constant.
You are faithful.
You are.

Father, today as I assess something precious that I have sacrificed on your altar, I know you know what I am doing. Even though I am not sure of any of the outcomes. I know you have asked me to lay something down.
I trust you that this clean break is the best way to heal and the best way to grow and move on.

Thank you that obedience doesn't always mean understanding. It sometimes means blindly holding on.
Today I feel blind. I feel unsure of my next steps. I don't know who is with me.
Except you.
Thank you that you KNOW all things about me.

I love you.

Mosaic - 31st March 2011

Yesterday I had a beautiful friend round for lunch. I have only known her since we moved here but we are already close pals. A while ago she and her husband shared that they had a real desire to be parents but for all sorts of reasons, this had not happened for them yet. Having been in the position where I was told I could not have children, I always feel very deeply for others in this situation. I took it upon myself to pray for them regularly.

In our conversation yesterday I suddenly got a word in my head. It was the word MOSAIC. I started to speak out what I felt God was saying to us. As you will know, a mosaic is made up of lots of small pieces to create a large picture. I started to get very excited. The very BEST mosaics are made from broken tiles not just small ones. The picture created from broken pieces is much more intricate than one made of small square bland tiles. In order to have broken pieces, something needs to no-longer be whole...

Basically I had a vision of this girl's family as a mosaic of different colours, from different nations. Although I feel they will be biological parents too, I sense that God has a redeeming work for them to do in rescuing children from dangerous and unpleasant backgrounds.

We prayed into this and she confirmed that it was something God had already spoken to them before. Hooray!

The whole picture of the mosaic got me thinking about us as people. Sometimes things are going along smoothly. It is easy to trust in God because actually things are fine. When something goes wrong and things start to break up we can feel as though God must be out of control. We feel insecure and ask 'Where are you? What are you doing?'

Perhaps what He is doing is creating an intricate and wonderful mosaic of all the broken pieces of life to make a unique masterpiece. Each situation is re-used for His glory and to tell His story.

May you and I be mosaics for Him today.

Reminder - 29th March 2011

How do you remember to do things? Do you write lists? Post-its? Store information on your phone?

I have been struck in the last couple of days that God often causes me to remember what He has done for me. However, He graciously chooses not to remind me of what I have done.

Why is this?
Because He never changes. But I do.
Because He is always good. I am not.
Because He is slow to anger. I am fast.
Because He is faithful. I lack faith.
Because He is wise. I'm silly.

God is loving and His post-its notes are as they ever were. When He starts a sentence with "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob..." He is declaring His CV of grace, miracle-working power, love and destiny. So it is with you and I.

He may want to remind you of something today. Perhaps that He is in control of your life; perhaps that He knows what is currently keeping you awake; perhaps that He understands why you feel lonely right now...

Let God remind you of what you have forgotten about Him.
If you hear someone telling you of your failures in the past, it is unlikely to be His voice you are tuning in to.

Love Languages - 28th March 2011

The other night Jon and I were talking about love languages and how we show love to others and like to be given love.

The Holy Roman Emperor Charles V of Germany (1500-58) was said to have spoken French to men, Italian to women, Spanish to God and German to horses.
I know God will have heard it all!

The other night the boys and I were praying. I asked them to join me and pray in tongues for a while. Sam prayed a short prayer and then said, "Mummy I know what God just prayed through me! He told me that Jesus is going to come back to earth soon!"

I confess I was stunned. I have not taught him this theology.
"What an amazing prayer Sam!" I said.

I then told the boys all about the fact that Jesus will one day come back and restore earth to His original intention for it (not just the original condition of it) They all got quite excited as I shared with them about the new heaven and new earth we are promised as believers.

It struck me that we are never told that God will make things 'as they once were...' We are not going to have an 'old' earth and an 'old' heaven as in the days of Eden. God is going to make it all again, fresh, new and not-yet-seen. YAAAAAYYY!

Whatever language you speak to yourself or to God, there seems to be agreement in many circles that Jesus is going to come back soon.
I am certainly praying for His swift return. I can't wait to see a new heaven and a new earth. I don't belong on this earth. It doesn't really suit me. The older I get the more I realise that it is a temporary dwelling place for my eternal being that really belongs in the heavenly realms. Just like yours.

Emergency - 25th March 2011

Yesterday I received a call from my Grandma's nursing home to say she was in an ambulance on the way to A+E after suffering from a bleeding leg. They said she was not responding to questions and appeared to be in some pain.
I raced to the hospital, dropping Esther off at a friend on the way, and spent what seemed like an eternity in a queue waiting to ask where I could find my Gran. I was shown into a resuss room by a House Doctor who looked about 17.
There was Gran, looking small and helpless in a massive bed wired up to the many beeping monitors.

I felt a total sense of calm come over me. The tune and words of an old hymn came immediately into my mind:

"The King of Love my Shepherd is
His goodness faileth never
I nothing lack if I am His
And He is mine forever."

I sang this into my Gran's ear and squeezed her hand. Then I repeated Psalm 23 over her a few times, telling her Jesus was near and there was nothing to fear. I absolutely believed it!

All around us was chaos and noise. A man in the next bed was fighting the staff and kept pulling his tubes out. He had to be sedated or as they put it "made more comfortable." Another man's heart kept stopping. It was a frenetic and far from peaceful environment. But I was in a little bubble with my Gran - just gently singing and speaking words of life and truth over her.

When I eventually saw a doctor - a wonderfully gentle, calm African guy, I felt totally cocooned in the love of Jesus. I did not feel scared or alone. I felt safe and warm, if slightly sickened by the smells emanating from the ward.

He asked me Gran's medical history and I gave it, as best I could. A student nurse came and did an ECG, stripping Gran completely to place the skin patches on her chest. My little Gran remained dignified, even in her restless sleep - unaware of what was happening to her.

I saw the best of humanity in that room and the worst. People who were scared and people who were calm. Staff who were on top of situations and staff who were absolutely not. Attitude makes so much difference in exactly the same situation. I was determined to be a rock for my Gran and my family (Mum and Dad were returning from holiday yesterday evening) and I found I was standing on the rock that is Jesus.

He will not let your foot slip. He who watches over you will not slumber or sleep.

Whatever emergency you find yourself in, you will find He is already there. I blessed the African doctor on my way out and He blessed me back. We smiled at one another. Christ was shared.

Free up your wardrobe - 24th March 2011

A couple of days ago, God told me to go and see a lady who is a friend of a friend. I wasn't sure why.
She is the manager of a charity out in Uganda. (Christian Restoration Ministries International)

She told me some INCREDIBLE stories of what God is doing out there. One of the projects that really touched my heart was called 'Trade the Dress.'

Trade the Dress is a micro finance project set up to create a sustainable living for those involved. It gives UK brides the opportunity to give their wedding dress to the charity for use out in Uganda not only giving an African bride an unforgettable day, but also providing regular financial support for CRMI.

How does it work?
Well most UK brides buy their wedding dress. It then sits in their wardrobe taking up space but is never worn again. That dress not only has the potential to make someone's dreams come true, but also to finance whole families. How?
Well that dress will be hired out, enabling a local family to make a sustainable living, and will bring happiness time and time again. The English bride will also receive a picture of an African bride wearing their dress as a memory of what a blessing that dress has become!

I know what I am going to do with my wedding dress! If you know anyone with a beautiful dress hanging in their wardrobe, please check out the CRMI website for details of how you can change someone's life today!

Thank you

Trespassers W - 22nd March 2011

One of my favourite parts of the Winnie the Pooh books is where Piglet describes his Grandfather’s name.
Piglet, you may recall, had a grandfather called Trespassers W, which was short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. Piglet's grandfather had had two names in case he lost one - Trespassers after an uncle, and William after Trespassers.

Brilliant!

The other night I was at a prayer meeting at church. God drew my eyes to look inside the keyboard player's coat that was lying on stage.

I did it (without causing too much attention!) and saw the words:

"Go further... Trespass."

I shared this with my fellow intecessors. I share it with you too.

God has clothed you with the desire, ability, faith and strength (however tired, weak or low you may feel in the natural) to GO FURTHER and trespass into territory previously belonging to the enemy.

This starts at home with your family, but it continues into where you are and what you do.

So go further today and trespass. You will find that it is actually your territory anyway.

Deuteronomy 12:22-25 says:

"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him and to hold fast to him— 23 then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you. 24 Every place where you set your foot will be yours: Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the Euphrates River to the Mediterranean Sea. 25 No one will be able to stand against you. The LORD your God, as he promised you, will put the terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go."

Where are you going to set your foot today? If you go with God's blessing, you feet will be going where He has already promised you have the right to be.

Deep waters - 18th March 2011

A US shallow diver has broken his own world record by swan-diving 36ft (11m) into a paddling pool containing just 12in (30.5cm) of water.

Darren Taylor, also known as "Professor Splash," dived into a pool of near-freezing water in Trondheim, Norway, making the jump his 13th Guinness certified record.

Mr Taylor, who is from Colorado in the US, has 25 years' professional high-diving experience and works as a stunt diver.

I watched this stunt a number of times this morning. Seeing the tiny paddling pool and the interview with the diver, the whole thing looks ridiculous, not to mention, highly dangerous. Fortunately the man survived, delighting the Norwegian crowd as he did so.

Many men jump headlong into what they think is a safe place. Perhaps it starts with a film or a magazine where there is a bit of mild nudity. Before they know if they are buying top-shelf hard-core porn or hitting internet pornographic sites regularly. They don't have to be single, young or even men who don't have a good sex life. They could be normal 'nice' people, just like you and me.

The porn industry is huge. It is absolutely saturating the internet and gets millions of hits worldwide a day. Estimated use is not limited to those outside of church either folks. It is the number one issue for most guys guys 11-17 in church. Accountability sites like the triple x one are getting more and more use as people in churches are wising up to the need for help.

A close pal of ours is researching this issue right now. The figures are frightening. What is our response? To pretend it is not there? To campaign for its removal? To pray and counsel those who suffer from its effects on their lives?

Yes. All of the above.
But I think more than this, we need to start preaching and teaching about it - bringing it out from the shadows and allowing it to be scrutinised by the light. The darkness cannot put it out.

Affection - 17th March 2011

Today I am going to look at a taboo subject :affection. Now you may wonder why I think this is so taboo.
Well, let me ask you something. How comfortable are you if a single man you don't know that well in church picks up your child and gives them a cuddle?
Not very, is the answer.
Affection is something that as a society we have all but lost because of fear, child protection issues and our new desire/ tendancy to live independently of others.

A very close friend of mine came out of children's ministry because he was terrified that people would think it was weird that he was an older man with grown up children wanting to do creche. He thought that people would think he had a problem. How sad and terrible is that? The fact is, he has a Father heart and a Grandfather heart given to him directly from the Lord.

The man in church who wants to pick up your daughter may well be a really nice guy who likes kids and is great with them. He may have, like my friend, been given a Father's heart, but is not yet a Father, or his children may have grown older and moved away. Affection like this is needed in society.

I am not advocating that you plonk your child on the nearest stranger on the bus, just that you open your eyes to what God may be up to in others.

There are those who are really gifted, loving and safe people of God who happen to be older and male. They need to be given permission to model safe, caring, affectionate relationships with our children as surrogate Grandparents in the Lord. Without such people in my life (I can list about 30 over the years) I would not be who I am.

I actively encourage the role of such people in our children's lives. But I am far from stupid about it. As someone who was abused as a child, I don't live in cloud cuckoo land. I know there are predatory people out there and I can spot them a mile off. But the vast majority of people who are interested in my kids are longing to serve us and be trusted to do so. So I let them. With joy.

Seed case - 16th March 2011

Two weeks ago the boys and I planted some seeds in three mini greenhouses. Tom was very proud of his pumpkins that grew slowly and steadily and then suddenly shot up. As I was watering the seedlings today, I noticed something on one of the leaves. It was a totally translucent part of the inside of the original seed. Paper thin and wonderfully delicate, this was all that was left of the old seed.

I held it in my hand, marvelling at the simple joy of nature and the intricacies of God's amazing plans. As I did so, I heard God speak to me about my own life.

It is no secret that God plants His seeds in us. Much has been written on the subject. I don't think I have ever read anything written on the see-through part of an old pumpkin seed though!

I looked at it carefully and could see the imprint of the seed shape on its surface - completely mimicking the size and structure. But now this little piece of the plant had done its job -whatever that was.

Sometimes, in order for something in our lives to flourish, something else might need to die and be put aside. That 'seed case' is no less beautiful and amazing for this. It is actually what it is meant for. Perhaps there is something in your life that you are holding onto desperately as your 'seed', thinking that this is what God is going to grow.

Actually, what God may have in mind is far bigger and more significant. So, whether you have been wanting to write a book, or start a cell group, or teach singing, or begin a Theology course or take up Salsa... God may have other ideas behind that. That may be the seedcase for something far greater.

Plant your seed and water it well. But don't be surprised if it grows and pushes something else out of the way.

Straight Aim - 15th March 2011

My children can be horrid. They can say very pointed things. But then the Bible describes them as arrows, so I guess its not surprising.
Psalm 127: 4 says:
"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are...children."

Read this verse again. It is strange. What does it mean?
Perhaps it is about how our children are meant to fight to make the world a better place? But it is more than this. As parents, we are like warrior archers.

I feel far from warrior-esque today, but as an archer it's my job to:
1) Protect my arrows in the quiver of our home. After the assassination of her husband, Jacqueline Kennedy was asked if she planned to run for political office. 'No,' she replied, 'my major effort must be devoted to my children. If they turn out badly, nothing I could do in the public eye would have any meaning.' Our children our an advert for us. They show the world what we are really like. Scary thought huh? Perhaps whilst they grow we need to sacrifice what we would like to fill our calendars with in order to give them our best years?

Our children are growing up in a generation where they can get drugs, buy weapons, meet a predator, engage in virtual sex, and do it all without leaving their homes via the internet. We are meant to actively and intentionally protect our arrows. 'A child left to himself brings shame to his [parents]...Correct your son, and...he will give delight to your soul' (Proverbs 29:15-17 NKJV).

But I don't want my children to see me as judgmental and joyless! I want them to have a huge amount of fun with me. Nothing delights me more than when my kids say, "Mummy! You are so silly!" As long we have fun as a family, I think they will listen to me too.

I am trying, with Jon, to build a home in which they can ask questions openly, get answers and form lifelong values. (Mummy why is your tummy still fat when it doesn't have a baby in it? Mummy why did God let a Tsunami kill lots of people?") The word 'warrior' means we must fight FOR them and tackle issues with them, however personal, painful or downright pernicious! We want our arrows to be pointed and sharp so that when they reach the target, they penetrate it.

2) Aim them in the right direction. Arrows are meant to be fired! The Bible says 'Train up a child in the way he should go...' (Proverbs 22:6). That means more than simply pointing them the right way and going off to pursue your own career. Training means helping them when they fail. It means being there to give them grace when they let us down. We must try not to overprotect them or choke their creativity. No Namby pamby kid ever changed the world! I don't come running every time one of my children cries. Sometimes I let them work out their own problems. I also teach them simple things to help them take care of themselves. The boys can all load and unload a dishwasher, run a bath, put the washing machine on, make a simple meal, clean and tidy their bedrooms, fetch things for their sister and for others. They get stars on the chart for thinking of other people.

One of my pals at Uni was an Etonian. A lovely guy but from a very privileged background. He had servants all his life and did not know one end of a washing machine from another. On the early hours of one morning he knocked on my door at University and begged for help. He had emptied an entire packet of soap powder into one of the machines and it had frothed over the whole laundry room. He had tried to clean it up with water, only to discover that more soap suds were made. I vowed that day that if ever I had kids, they would know how to do simple things like that.

3) Release them. All arrows need to be sent away from the quiver - on purpose. It can be difficult letting go, whether that means to a playgroup, or a university. But it's easier when you know you've taught them the truth, they're covered by prayer, and all constantly under God's protection.

You may not have realised that you are a warrior for your children before. So realise it today and seek God's wisdom for how to treat each of the arrows He has given you.

Alan Sugar isn't the only one that gets to fire people. You do too.

Blank - 14th March 2011

I am sitting here with a rare feeling in my heart. The truth is that I have no idea what to write today. Normally, I am bursting with ideas. Normally I have too much in my head to put on the page and battle with what to leave out. But not today.

Today I feel flat, tired and as though the wonderful sunshine outside is for somebody else to enjoy. I feel busy in my spirit and not in a good way... ever had a day like that?

Ever had a day when you are not sure why you have woken up feeling out of sorts and as though you are battling something unseen and unexplained?

Not just me then.

On days like this, there is only one response; however I feel, God has not changed. However tired I am, He is unwearied. However feebly I seek Him, He WILL be found. Its who He is.

So I will praise Him!

God, you are Lord of this day. This is the day that YOU have made. So I WILL rejoice and be glad in it. Not because that's easy, or because I feel like it but because it is true and I need it.
Forgive me for the self-centred nature of my soul; the words that rise up in me that are all about me and my agenda... the feelings of not being 'important' or valued... at the end of the day all of them are shorthand for 'selfish.' Expose me and forgive me.

Teach me today to take my thoughts captive and not to allow self-cursing to wear me down. Give me a willing spirit to sustain me and restore again to me the joy, the unbridled, nonsensical, wonderful, overcoming, overflowing, sweeping joy, of my salvation.

It is well Oh my soul!

I say again to myself and to you, IT IS WELL. We are loved.

The Golden Silence - 11th March 2011

I went to the children's parent's evening at school this week. It is always revelatory! One of the sentences I found most amusing when reading through Sam's creative writing book was about our house.

"Our house is messy. It is too small and there is lots of noise."

Interesting...
He has a point. There is always a lot of noise, but funnily enough, much of it accompanies his presence!

Notably, quiet and silence only happen when he and his brothers are absent or asleep.

Revelation 8:1 begins with an extraordinary verse.
"When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour."

Silence in heaven??
Why would there be silence in heaven? I thought it was the place of eternal praising.

Well the answer is this. Heaven stops to listen to something. Do you know what it is? The following verses show us.
Heaven is only silent for one reason; to listen to our prayers, the prayers of the saints.

Do you feel as though you are praying and praying and seeing no change in your situation? Do you feel as though God is not giving you revelation right now? Are you desperately straining to hear from Him?

Perhaps the reason is this: that He and all of heaven are waiting to hear the sound of YOUR voice in lifted up, intentional, active and believing prayer.

They say silence is golden. Now I get why.

Sparkly eyeshadow - 10th March 2011

Last night I was at a New Wine event as part of the band. My wonderful parents offered to have the children and put them to bed so that I could go. The rehearsal and sound check was just after the school pick up, so I went to the playground to get the boys with full eye make-up on. One of my friends commented on the incongruous nature of my attire. Glamourous makeup and tatty trainers!

She asked why I looked so different. I told her I had a gig at my church. As we got chatting she asked how I ended up at Ivy. I told the whole story in bitesize chunks about how I had been at a worship conference and met Debra Green - a pastor at our church. Debra had given me a very accurate prophecy about my past and my future which had secured in my mind that we needed to come to Manchester and to Ivy.

As I was telling this story to my friend, who I don't know very well yet, she was open-mouthed.

"You mean to say you moved to a totally new place because she said all that to you?"

"Petty much... yeah!" I smiled.

She held my hand for a moment before saying, "Can I come to your church? I'd like to be part of something like that."

"Of course!" I said. "I'm singing on Sunday, a couple of other mums from school are coming. Why don't you come too?"

"Yes, I'd like that."
I went to give her a hug, but she was about to walk away. We had a little bit of a potential awkward moment. Seeing that she had sort of missed out, she turned back and gave me a full on hug for a long time. When we pulled apart I could see that God's spirit was on her.

Watch this space! But I feel as though my dream of having some kind of new "discover who you are" group could be quite close at hand. Amazing what wearing sparkly eyeshadow can lead to isn't it?!

Oh and the gig? It was an amazing time of revelation and answered prayer. God is SO good. At the end I was chatting to the other worship leader about it. He commented that when we were playing a certain song and I was playing celtic whistle he saw a picture of me writing beautiful things in silver pen... It was a very silvery day yesterday. The glitter of God sparkled all over the place! I pray you have a similarly shiny day today.

A Different Hunger - 9th March 2011

Today is Ash wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent. Lent is a word from the Latin meaning '40 days.'

In the late Middle Ages, as sermons began to be given in the vernacular instead of Latin, the English word lent was adopted. This word initially simply meant 'spring' (as in the German language Lenz and Dutch lente) and derives from the Germanic root for 'long' because in the spring the days visibly lengthen.

So what does Lent mean for you?
Some of us seek to use Lent as a time to pray or fast from something. Many churches do Lent courses or pray in special and specific ways.

The period of time many people associate with Lent is Jesus' 40 days in the wilderness. In Luke 4 we read that Jesus, being full of the Spirit is led by the Spirit into the desert. 14 verses later we see that Jesus' status has changed. It says "Jesus returned to Galilee in the POWER of the spirit."

Whatever happened to Jesus in the desert resulted in Him changing from being FULL to be EMPOWERED.

You and I need to be both too. We desperately need God's filling and power if we are going to see His kingdom come in our time.

In this season of giving up and self-discipline, I pray that we will be LENT (leant) the Holy Spirit in greater measure; that we will be cleaner vessels for His dwelling and His purposes.

Father make me pray differently in these next few days. Make me hungrier for more of You and less needy of the appetites of the world. Help those today for whom fasting is not a choice, but a way of life due to lack of food and poverty. As I go without certain things, teach me to realise that I never go without YOU.

Amen

Miracles in the back row - 8th March 2011

On Sunday evening I had decided that I would not go to church. I was tired after a busy weekend decorating and filling a skip with rubbish from our garage.

However, I felt a nagging in my spirit that I should go. I spent the first hour outside church in the vestibule with a girl who needed some prayer. After that I wondered if I should go home, but God prompted me to go in.
I sat at the back three chairs away from a couple I had never seen before. They were not immediately "a pair" to look at. But there was a bond between them. I realised that they were married but had been estranged by something. God soon started speaking to me about them and I was pleased when the lady leant over during a song and struck up a conversation. As she asked me some questions, I realised that she was American. Her husband was from Manchester.

As we began to share, she told me part of their amazing story. Her husband had suffered a massive heart attack last month. At the time, she was living in the States (I didn't ask why) She prayed for her husband's life to be spared and caught the first flight she could to get to him. On the way to the hospital in the ambulance, he called his brother and sister, pleading with them to be saved. Miraculously, he sustained no lasting damage to his heart, lived to tell the tale and is now fit and well. But obviously he has been wondering what God has planned for his 'second' life.

Their journey has been a complex one. They have, I think, 6 children between them and it is her second marriage. One of their children had been pronounced dead at birth and had stayed 'flatlined' for 20 minutes. She had claimed her child's life in the name of Jesus and watched as a nurse tried one last time to get the heart rate going. It started. The baby breathed and cried and life came into its little body.

He had also had a severe parasitic infection in one of his legs a few years ago and was told he would have to undergo amputation. But God challenged him in the middle of the night saying, "Do you trust that I can heal you?" The man replied, "I believe! But help my unbelief!" The following morning, the surgeon came into the ward to speak to him and prepare him for surgery. He lifted back the blanket and said "Praise Jesus!" The leg was completely restored.

This couple had the word 'miracle' all over them! As they spoke I asked if I could kneel in front of them. I felt overcome by God's glory around them and humbled by what He was doing. I began to shake. As I did so, God started to show me some of the things they still needed to overcome. He showed me some of His plans for their marriage, their wider family and for their future ministry.

I had noticed that the lady inclined her left ear towards me when I spoke. Boldly, I said, "You are deaf aren't you?"

"Yes" she replied.

"I believe that God wants to heal you, because I see that you are a worshipper and someone who writes and sings and plays songs. Am I right?" I said.

She stared at me, emphatically nodding. "Yes. I am deaf in one ear and below normal hearing in my other ear. I used to be able to sing and play and lead worship. I am now tone deaf. But if God wants to heal me, I receive His healing."

The three of us joined forces and prayed with passion over her. She raised her hands to heaven, pleading with God to restore her hearing.
As we prayed, her right ear began buzzing. She described a feeling in it as though she was on an aeroplane and needed to swallow or change altitude. I sensed her healing was beginning.

God told me to keep praying and told me a few other more private things about them to pray into.

I was only with this couple half an hour but I felt as though something shifted in the heavenlies over them. I saw them with a powerful ministry of healing and deliverance. I saw books being written and services held. I got ready to take their details so I could stay in touch. Then God whispered to me.

"Don't."
I wasn't sure why. I wanted to know the next part of the story! But God told me that I was just a tiny part of this miracle journey for them. He had much left to say and do over them. I was not to engineer or manufacture anything of my own desire over them. As hard as it was, I hugged them and told them how privileged I had been to meet them, that I would continue to pray for them and then drove home.

"How was church love?" Jon asked as I walked in. "I don't know" I confessed. "I wasn't really there. But I know God was."

Recipe for success - 7th March 2011

On Sunday morning Jon left early as he was involved in leading worship at church. The boys picked up on the atmosphere of praise in the house and started singing at the breakfast table. They were singing the Matt Redman song "Blessed be your name." However, because the younger ones did not know the proper words, what they were actually singing was
"RECIPE YOUR NAME..."

Very sweet, but perhaps not quite as biblically accurate!

I was thinking about those words for a while.
Recipes are big business in our house. Our boys each have their favourite Mummy recipe that they ask for on treat days. Just the sound of certain meals makes them think of home, comforts them and brings a smile to their little faces.

There are names of God that are a similar recipe for me.
When I hear the word "Yahweh" for example, something happens in my spirit. That word alone is enough to unlock some difficult things when I pray. Sometimes I find myself saying it over and over again when I am faced with something particularly challenging.

I tend to call God "Father" or "Daddy". Those words have a comforting impact on my heart - mainly because of my experience of my earthly Daddy, who so reflects my heavenly one.

Whatever recipe God's names conjur up for you today, experiment by finding a new one that you don't regularly use. It could transform your prayers today. I have listed a huge list of ideas for you to use below.

RECIPE HIS NAME!

ABBA.............................Romans 8:15
ADVOCATE.........................I John 2:1 (kjv)
ALMIGHTY.........................Genesis 17:1
ALPHA............................Revelation 22:13
AMEN.............................Revelation 3:14
ANCIENT OF DAYS..................Daniel 7:9
ANOINTED ONE.....................Psalm 2:2
APOSTLE..........................Hebrews 3:1
ARM OF THE LORD..................Isaiah 53:1
AUTHOR OF LIFE...................Acts 3:15
AUTHOR OF OUR FAITH..............Hebrews 12:2

BEGINNING.........................Revelation 21:6
BLESSED & HOLY RULER..............1 Timothy 6:15
BRANCH............................Jeremiah 33:15
BREAD OF GOD......................John 6:33
BREAD OF LIFE.....................John 6:35
BRIDEGROOM........................Isaiah 62:56
BRIGHT MORNING STAR...............Revelation 22:16

CHIEF SHEPHERD.....................1 Peter 5:4
CHOSEN ONE.........................Isaiah 42:1
CHRIST.............................Matthew 22:42
CHRIST OF GOD......................Luke 9:20
CHRIST THE LORD....................Luke 2:11
CHRIST, SON OF LIVING GOD..........Matthew 16:16
COMFORTER..........................John 14:26(kjv)
COMMANDER..........................Isaiah 55:4
CONSOLATION OF ISRAEL...............Luke 2:25
CONSUMING FIRE......................Deut. 4:24, Heb. 12:29
CORNERSTONE.........................Isaiah 28:16
COUNSELOR...........................Isaiah 9:6
CREATOR.............................1 Peter 4:19

DELIVERER..............................Romans 11:26
DESIRED OF ALL NATIONS.................Haggai 2:7
DOOR...................................John 10:7(kjv)

END....................................Revelation 21:6
ETERNAL GOD............................Deut. 33:27
EVERLASTING FATHER.....................Isaiah 9:6

FAITHFUL & TRUE........................Revelation 19:11
FAITHFUL WITNESS.......................Revelation 1:5
FATHER.................................Matthew 6:9
FIRSTBORN (3)........................................Rom.8:29,Rev.1:5,Col.1:15
FIRSTFRUITS............................1 Cor.15:20-23
FOUNDATION.............................1 Cor. 3:11
FRIEND OF TAX COLLECTORS & SINNERS.....Matthew 11:19

GENTLE WHISPER.........................1 Kings 19:12
GIFT OF GOD............................John 4:10
GLORY OF THE LORD......................Isaiah 40:5
GOD....................................Genesis 1:1
GOD ALMIGHTY...........................Genesis 17:1
GOD OVER ALL...........................Romans 9:5
GOD WHO SEES ME........................Genesis 16:13
GOOD SHEPHERD..........................John 10:11
GREAT HIGH PRIEST......................Hebrews 4:14
GREAT SHEPHERD.........................Hebrews 13:20
GUIDE..................................Psalm 48:14

HEAD OF THE BODY.......................Colossians 1:18
HEAD OF THE CHURCH.....................Ephesians 5:23
HEIR OF ALL THINGS.....................Hebrews 1:2
HIGH PRIEST............................Hebrews 3:1
HIGH PRIEST FOREVER....................Hebrews 6:20
HOLY ONE...............................Acts 2:27
HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL.....................Isaiah 49:7
HOLY SPIRIT............................John 15:26
HOPE...................................Titus 2:13
HORN OF SALVATION......................Luke 1:69

I AM....................................Exodus 3:14, John 8:58
IMAGE OF GOD............................2 Cor. 4:4
IMAGE OF HIS PERSON.....................Hebrews 1:3 (kjv)
IMMANUEL................................Isaiah 7:14

JEALOUS..............................Exodus 34:14 (kjv)
JEHOVAH..............................Psalm 83:18 (kjv)
JESUS................................Matthew 1:21
JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD................Romans 6:23
JUDGE................................Isaiah 33:22, Acts 10:42

KING.................................Zechariah 9:9
KING ETERNAL.........................1 Timothy 1:17
KING OF KINGS........................1 Timothy 6:15
KING OF THE AGES.....................Revelation 15:3

LAMB OF GOD...........................John 1:29
LAST ADAM.............................1 Cor. 15:45
LAWGIVER..............................Isaiah 33:22
LEADER................................Isaiah 55:4
LIFE..................................John 14:6
LIGHT OF THE WORLD....................John 8:12
LIKE AN EAGLE.........................Deut. 32:11
LILY OF THE VALLEYS...................Song 2:1
LION OF THE TRIBE OF JUDAH............Revelation 5:5
LIVING STONE..........................1 Peter 2:4
LIVING WATER..........................John 4:10
LORD..................................John 13:13
LORD GOD ALMIGHTY.....................Revelation 15:3
LORD JESUS CHRIST.....................1 Cor. 15:57
LORD OF ALL...........................Acts 10:36
LORD OF GLORY ........................1 Cor. 2:8
LORD OF HOSTS.........................Haggai 1:5
LORD OF LORDS.........................1 Tim. 6:15
LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS..............Jeremiah 23:6
LOVE.................................1 John 4:8

MAN OF SORROWS.........................Isaiah 53:3
MASTER..................................Luke 5:5
MEDIATOR................................1 Timothy 2:5
MERCIFUL GOD............................Jeremiah 3:12
MESSENGER OF THE COVENANT................Malachi 3:1
MESSIAH................................. John 4:25
MIGHTY GOD...............................Isaiah 9:6
MIGHTY ONE...............................Isaiah 60:16

NAZARENE.................................Matthew 2:23

OFFSPRING OF DAVID.......................Revelation 22:16
OMEGA....................................Revelation 22:13
ONLY BEGOTTEN SON........................John 1:18(kjv)
OUR PASSOVER LAMB........................1 Cor. 5:7
OUR PEACE................................Ephesians 2:14

POTTER...................................Isaiah 64:8
POWER OF GOD.............................1 Cor. 1:24
PRINCE OF PEACE..........................Isaiah 9:6
PROPHET..................................Acts 3:22
PURIFIER.................................Malachi 3:3

RABBONI (TEACHER)........................John 20:16
RADIANCE OF GOD'S GLORY..................Heb.1:3
REDEEMER.................................Job 19:25
REFINER'S FIRE...........................Malachi 3:2
RESURRECTION.............................John 11:25
RIGHTEOUS ONE............................1 John 2:1
ROCK.....................................1 Cor.10:4
ROOT OF DAVID............................Rev. 22:16
ROSE OF SHARON...........................Song 2:1
RULER OF GOD'S CREATION..................Rev. 3:14
RULER OVER KINGS OF EARTH................Rev 1:5
RULER OVER ISRAEL........................Micah 5:2

SAVIOR...................................Luke 2:11
SCEPTER OUT OF ISRAEL....................Numbers 24:17
SEED.....................................Genesis 3:15
SERVANT..................................Isaiah 42:1
SHEPHERD OF OUR SOULS....................1Peter 2:25
SHIELD...................................Genesis 15:1
SON OF DAVID.............................Matthew 1:1
SON OF GOD...............................Matthew 27:54
SON OF MAN...............................Matthew 8:20
SON OF THE MOST HIGH.....................Luke 1:32
SOURCE...................................Hebrews 5:9
SPIRIT OF GOD............................Genesis 1:2
STAR OUT OF JACOB........................Numbers 24:17
STONE....................................1 Peter 2:8
SUN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.....................Malachi 4:2

TEACHER...................................John 13:13
TRUE LIGHT................................John 1:9
TRUE WITNESS..............................Revelation 3:14
TRUTH.....................................John 14:6

VINE......................................John 15:5

WAY........................................John 14:6
WISDOM OF GOD..............................1 Cor. 1:24
WITNESS....................................Isaiah 55:4
WONDERFUL..................................Isaiah 9:6
WORD.......................................John 1:1
WORD OF GOD................................Revelation 19:13

ELOHIM......Genesis 1:1, Psalm 19:1
meaning "God", a reference to God's power and might.
ADONAI......Malachi 1:6
meaning "Lord", a reference to the Lordship of God.
JEHOVAH--YAHWEH.....Genesis 2:4
a reference to God's divine salvation.
JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM.......Exodus 31:13
meaning "The Lord thy sanctifier"
JEHOVAH-ROHI......Psalm 23:1
meaning "The Lord my shepherd"
JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH.......Ezekiel 48:35
meaning "The Lord who is present"
JEHOVAH-RAPHA.........Exodus 15:26
meaning "The Lord our healer"
JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU......Jeremiah 23:6
meaning "The Lord our righteousness"
JEHOVAH-JIREH.........Genesis 22:13-14
meaning "The Lord will provide"
JEHOVAH-NISSI.........Exodus 17:15
meaning "The Lord our banner"
JEHOVAH-SHALOM........Judges 6:24
meaning "The Lord is peace"
JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH......Isaiah 6:1-3
meaning "The Lord of Hosts"
JEHOVAH-GMOLAH........Jeremiah 51:6
meaning "The God of Recompense"
EL-ELYON..............Genesis 14:17-20,Isaiah 14:13-14
meaning "The most high God
EL-ROI................Genesis 16:13
meaning "The strong one who sees"
EL-SHADDAI............Genesis 17:1,Psalm 91:1
meaning "The God of the mountains or God Almighty"
EL-OLAM...............Isaiah 40:28-31
meaning "The everlasting God"

The Mission of Marriage - 4th March 2011

The bride and groom are not usually the only people to take vows on their wedding day. At our wedding, my Dad, who married us, said “Will all of you who witness these promises do all in your power to uphold Emma and Jonathan in their marriage?” (Book of Common Prayer, 425). Everyone said they would, but we have never seen some of those people since! Our fault as much as theirs!

I have been to many weddings and heard myself and Jon respond similarly with a resounding "WE WILL!" but actually the truth is "WE WON'T." Why? Because we don't know them well... they move away... we lose touch...they have different values...

I’ve never actually heard anyone respond "No!" at this point in a marriage service, but have still seen entire congregations stand by at a distance as marriages dissolve quietly into separation and divorce. I think that is happening right now in your church, and in mine too.

What do you think would happen if we took the promise we make at marriage services with equal seriousness as the promises made by the couple themselves? I honestly think that husbands and wives would find it less difficult to fulfil their marriage vows.

Why? Well, marriage is meant to be lived out within the context of a rich and diverse Christian community. Just as an individual’s growth in discipleship depends on the investment, support, and at times even the challenge of other wiser, more experienced members of the community of faith, so it should be with the couple’s growth together.

I believe that my marriage finds its ultimate fulfillment as Jon and I reach out to others both within the Christian community and beyond. I think this is the case for all marriages. We are meant to do more for God together than we could do on our own. But sometimes we need people to "BUTT IN" and challenge and question us. In fact, and hear me out on this: I put it to you that the solution for many marital problems you and I know of is not for the couple to get MORE involved in the church. It is for the church to get more involved in them!

For marriages to flourish, couples need the support of Christian friends both in times of crisis AND in ordinary times. It is, after all in ordinary times that the potential for crisis can seed and grow.

So look out with the eyes of your heart today for those in your community who are struggling. Be a haven for those who need a listening ear. Which couples do you need to come alongside you right now? If you are single, who do you go to for your sense of community and advice? If you are married and living life to the full with your partner,are you doing all you can to build up marriages around you? Don't be one of those people who make the empty promise 'WE WILL" and then walk away. Marriages are breakable. Even yours.

Middle Age Spread - 3rd March 2011

I have decided that I am officially middle-aged.
Not only have I started buying "quality" clothes instead of ones that fall to bits whilst you pay for them, but I have also rejoiced in two of my close pals up here becoming Grandparents this week. Next stop: free bus pass and subscription to Readers Digest...?

Last night I had a grown-up clothes party. (Yet further evidence that my student days are behind me.) Esther's godmother (V GLAM) sells wonderful French designer stuff. Its pricy - but then doesn't revert to its component parts when introduced to a spot of Daz. I like it. (Although, it has to be said that I did have to be physically peeled out of some of the smaller garments by willing, hooting friends. Its not easy having extra bits the size of Jordan. I often feel I am about to fall over - even when sitting down. Ha ha!)

Yet further proof, if proof were needed, that I am ageing is the fact that I like scented candles, hot water bottles, and Marks and Spencers crisps. None of which shout the word 'teenager' very loudly, do they?

But do you know what guys and gals? I like ageing. I see the funny side of it all. Yes, my body seems to think that south is the direction of the season, but hey! There is breath in it and most of it works ok. So all is well.
I think one of the best things about my middle-agedness is that I no longer care about being semi-clad. Don't get me wrong; I don't undress on Sale highstreet...that would not be wise, or indeed, warm, but I don't mind sitting in my knickers, cami and tights having a chat to a small group of pals. Years ago, I would have been terrified. But now, not so. I am comfortable being me. I recognise that I have a far- from -perfect figure, shape, weight and size, but I am quite happy with that.

Why so? I guess a lot of it is about confidence. I am a very confident person. I still have hang ups and insecurities, sure, but I KNOW myself... I know what I can do and what I can't.

Cooking: yes
Maths: no

Simples.

With confidence comes a certain 'seizing of the moment.' I have stopped thinking "Shall I ask that person to church?" and just do it. I have stopped thinking, "Shall I give that person a book?" and just hand it over. Life is too short and I am too middle-aged not to make the most of every opportunity.

There is something rather vulnerable about allowing yourself to be dressed and commented on by people you know from the school playground. ("That makes your waist look great! That makes your legs look short!") It causes hilarity and further sharing. I have been amazed at what one night has done. It has sparked a flurry of texts and further invites. God is very kind.

I can't tell you loudly enough how important it is to be hospitable. Yes its inconvenient, costly and often sacrificial... but it is the fastest, surest and most pleasant way to growing God's kingdom I know of. And that, my friends is the kind of middle aged spread I am after. You?

Protection - 1st March 2011

Last weekend I came outside to see that two cars in our adjoining side road had had their windows bricked in and others had been damaged. We are not in a rough area for car crime so I was quite surprised. Later, on Sunday afternoon I found out what had happened.

We have had some building work done this past few weeks (months!) and had some bricks and rubbish on our driveway awaiting a skip delivery. A group of drunken youths had entered the road and found the driveway had some "interesting" things on it. They had picked up some bricks and smashed two cars then damaged two others. (Adding to the ten cars they had already smashed up in Hope Road using other things they could find.) Unbeknown to them they were being watched by my next-door- neighbour who is a policeman. He called for back up and then went out in his pyjamas and arrested the girl he had seen bricking the cars. His wife (rather anxiously) also watched one of the young people throw a brick at one of our downstairs windows. She heard it make contact but did not hear the sound of anything smashing. They checked that our car was not damaged and so did not wake us up. We did not hear a thing, having had a rough night with Esther teething and sleeping whilst we could...

As we were chatting the following day and my neighbours were telling me their story, I asked them into the garden to see if we could find the brick or any signs of damage.
There were none. We did find half a brick on the path outside the garden.

They were intrigued. I told them that our house has been prayed over and that maybe the brick bounced off our (only remaining) single-glazed window. They looked a little disbelieving. But then they remarked about how their daughter, who I had prayed for last week after a suspected broken finger, had not had a break after all.

We looked again. But there was no evidence of damage anywhere. The youths came on to our driveway but did not attack our car. Why not? They did everyone else's!

I think we were protected from something this weekend. I think Angels were guarding us.

We are told when we become Christians "In this world you WILL have trouble.." We are not immune from it. I am currently nursing a very sick little boy whose immune system has taken a battering after developing an allergic reaction to a virus. Sam is covered in a horrid rash and had nasty hives all day yesterday. Sometimes things like this happen...

BUT we are also told that we are protected by angels and by our Heavenly Father. He is always looking after us and looking out for us.
Nothing that happens to us is a surprise to Him or forces His hand.

Perhaps God knew that having smashed windows and a broken car was one thing I couldn't have handled this week, on top of poorly children, so He graciously stood in the way to prevent it?

I won't know this side of heaven, but I certainly think it has given me an interesting discussion with my lovely neighbours next door. As a thank you present I gave them a copy of my CD and our pastor Anthony's new book " Diamond Geezers" which is a brilliant read. So who knows what will come of a few young people wilfully destroying other people's property? Perhaps another Diamond Geezer?

Heaven knows.

The power of prayer - 26th February 2011

I believe that revival is coming. I actually think it is on its way and can sense things changing.
For those of us who seek revival and pray it in, there is a challenge or two ahead. We need to stay focussed on the goals that God is showing us.

Yesterday I met with some other intecessors for a charity I have some involvement with. As we prayed, God gave us some specific towns in the UK to seek Him for specifically. A number of us had the same town names and His words were confirmed. What He is doing is exciting and provoking. But there is much to do. There are many hours of prayer needed in secret places for God's kingdom to advance.
Private prayer is costly. There are no accolades or encouragement. There is even sometimes ridicule or misunderstanding. But we are called to go into our rooms and, in secret, come before the Lord.

The Bible is clear that if we humble ourselves and pray God WILL heal our land. That is His desire. Is it yours? How much are you prepared to do to see it? What are you going to shift in your life to see it come to pass?

Challenging isn't it?!

Crunch time - 24th February 2011

Last night I spent the evening alongside some of my fellow brothers and sisters at Ivy seeking the Lord about a crisis in our church.
It is a wonderful crisis to have, but still an emergency.

In the last few months we have expanded our services and our congregations but we are absolutely bursting at the seams. Even though we have five services every Sunday, we cannot cope with the amount of people pouring through the doors. This is especially problematic for those running the children's and youth ministries.
The rooms at the church are adequate for half the number we are seeing, but even then, not ideal.

Oliver Brockbank started our church over a hundred years ago. He held a small bible study, primarily at first, for his gardener. A man of means and vision, he was soon meeting with and teaching a small group of men. This grew sufficiently to warrant a Friends' mission House being built next to Ivy Cottage in Didsbury. Some years later, Mr Brockbank put up an undeclared sum of money (thought to be over £3 million) to build the church we still meet in. I thank God for his incredible wisdom to do what he did for us.

As we sat and sought the Lord together last night so many words came to us about journey and unity. It was a privilege to sit in the presence of God alongside so many others, keen to see what He has next for us as a community.

We all need to embrace change. It can be hard for those of us who like things 'as they are.' I am not one for status quo -( the rock band or the saying) I like things to be shaken up a bit, spiritually speaking.

I am excited about the suddenness of this move. It feels like when the Israelites were freed in a hurry from Egypt and had to go without taking much with them.

At the end of our meeting, I had a picture of everyone placing their keys on the stage as a sign that we do not own anything we are given and need to give it back to God. As we stood together and put our keys down, laying down our 'possessions' before the Lord, Anthony used a prayer common in Anglican liturgy:

"Everything comes from you
and of your own do we give you."

I am fully confident that we will journey together in unity towards a new Ivy. Our church strapline is "Knowing Growing Going..." Now I know why!

Whatever change you are going through today, thank God for those He has placed around you to help you on the journey.

Three coats - 22nd February 2011

A few weeks ago I read a wonderful UCB Bible study on two of the coats that Joseph was given. It said that to be used by God, we must be prepared to wear the two coats Joseph wore - namely, those of favour and integrity.

As I read this passage again however, I spotted a third coat. The coat of responsibility. Read on to see what I mean.
Remember the story of Joseph?
First his father Jacob gave him the coat of favour. 'Now [Jacob] loved Joseph... and he made him a coat of many colours' (Genesis 37:3 KJV).

Like Joseph's multicoloured coat, the favour of God will undoubtedly cause us to stand out in the crowd; it will open doors, protect and promote us. This may not always make us very popular with people, but the Bible says, 'For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; with favour You will surround him as with a shield' (Psalm 5:12 NKJV).

I bet there were many times when Joseph felt that his coat was not something that brought him favour at all! It may well have felt like the opposite. It may be similar with what God has given you?

There are certainly times when the things that God gives us are not straightforward or easy to understand. Sometimes it does not feel as though we have His favour or His blessing at all. But, with hindsight, insight or foresight and longsight, we may come to view things differently. Joseph was marked out from an early age as a person who carried the favour and intended purposes of God. I believe you and I walk in the same destiny. Do you?

Secondly, Joseph had a coat of integrity. This is the coat Joseph left in the hands of Potiphar's wife when he refused to sleep with her. 'When Joseph went into the house to do his work... she caught him by his garment, saying, "Lie with me." But he left his garment in her hand, and fled...' (Genesis 39:11-12 NKJV).

Our temptation may not be to sleep with the boss's wife, of course. It may be to cut corners at work, or to lie about a situation, or claim the credit for a success that belonged elsewhere...whatever it is, we will all experience times of real testing. In any test our character is revealed. Passing tests of integrity are what qualifies us to be continually used by God.

A good friend of mine helps to run a youth camp every year. During the camp he takes the young leaders through a difficult assault course to see what happens when they are put under pressure. Every time, character traits rise the surface and he is able to see who has the leadership potential, stamina and integrity he is looking for in the next generation of leaders to train.

What is your stamina like under pressure? Do you fold at the slightest hurdle and give up? Or do you know that whatever comes you have a promise written over your life that you will simply rise above all obstacles to achieve?

The last coat Joseph is recorded to have been given is in Genesis 41:42 where we read:
'Then Pharaoh... clothed him in garments of fine linen...'

Here is Joseph the foreigner, exalted to the highest place in the land. Pharaoh isn't just dressing him up for a posh meal or because he wants to hang out with someone who looks and smells nice. He dresses Joseph as royalty because he is now given huge responsibility and power; the power to save lives.

We may have the favour of God over our lives and the integrity to handle what He gives us well. But what we also need is the knowledge and wisdom to hold in tension the responsibility of what we are called to do in His name.

We all need to get used to wearing these three coats
Favour
Integrity
Responsibility

They flow into one another. The Bible teaches us that a chord of three strands isn't quickly broken. But our job is to realise how vital all three of these 'coats' are to what we are doing today.

If we are living lives surrendered to Jesus, we have God's favour over us. If we choose to walk in uprightness and integrity then we will be given tasks to achieve for His name.

May God bless us as we seek His wisdom to make His word come alive to us and in us today. Amen.

Hi to you - 21st February 2011

Welcome to new readers in the USA, Portugal and Israel. I am delighted you have found this site somehow and I pray it blesses you mightily.
Ems

The greater power - 21st February 2011

Did you know that negative thinking can actually be fatal?

The story is told of a guy called Nick. He was a tough guy who worked on the railways. One night, after all his fellow workers had gone home, he accidentally locked himself in a refrigerated carriage. Worried that the temperature was below freezing, he yelled for help, but to no avail. The more he thought about his situation the colder he felt, until eventually he started shivering uncontrollably. Convinced he was dying, he wrote a letter to his family outlining what had happened.

The next morning they found Nick's body. An autopsy revealed that he had indeed frozen to death. But the investigators discovered something puzzling. The carriage in which Nick was trapped was out of order and had been disconnected. The night he "froze to death" the temperature in the boxcar was 16.1 degrees, just below room temperature. But because he expected to die, he lost the battle in his mind.

What you believe about your life is more important than what anyone else believes.

What is it that consumes you? What do you worry about? Is is that you have cancer? Or that your wife is cheating on you? Or that your church isn't growing? Maybe your child is ill, or your friend is absent or your job is precarious.

Don't believe the worst about the situation you are in! Your mind has huge power over your body and therefore over the whole situation. He that is in you is GREATER than he that is in the world!

Don't say "I will never accomplish this!" over your tomorrow. Say with me today that ALL things are possible for those in Christ Jesus... and that, my friends, means you and I.

Faking it - 11th February 2011

My husband’s new series on Cbeebies got recommissioned yesterday. Whoop Whoop!! This means that in just a few weeks time he will be starting to plan the next 26 episodes. Our life has rather revolved around this show - its characters and the team involved - for the last year or so. Long may that continue☺

One of the things I most enjoy about the format is the way that it uses real children (not actors) and takes time to film them speaking naturally. My issue with the vast majority of kids' TV is that children are told what to say and their lines are delivered in a wooden “I have been told to say this by a nice lady” kind of way.

Being 'real' is a gift. A lot of people out there are fakes. They pretend they are doing well, when actually they are not at all. I think actors and TV presenters are perhaps the worst at this. They are, as a race, such desperately insecure people that it is rare to find a genuinely unspoilt one. Fortunately there are a few about! But I feel for them. They are paid to pretend to be someone else and I think they can sometimes forget who they really are.

We can all do this to a certain extent. We pretend we have a migraine (rather than just a headache) so we get out of the meeting we don’t want to go to. We say we are busy when an unwelcome visitor is in town… we say we are not hungry when we don’t like the food on offer…

And, my friends, God sees it all for what it is.

A number of years ago the Christian world was rocked by a very sad situation as a famous worship leader came clean about the fact that he had lied about having a life-threatening illness to get attention. God used him mightily during this whole time. Even when he was faking it, the songs he wrote and the meetings he spoke at saw amazing signs and wonders. Genuine ones. A close friend of ours was present at one and witnessed it for himself. In the midst of his sin, God used this man and bypassed the fakery to create something genuine and beautiful. I prayed for that guy today. I can't imagine what kind of life he is living now, but I hope he is moving on with God.

God hates lies. He loves it when we are real, but He is so gracious and loving, that He is even able to use us and everything that happens around us when we are lying, disingenuous and far from Him. I find that awe-inspiring - and not a little scary. Lying gets us into more trouble. Faking it means we have to fake it again to cover up the lie.

Jesus wasn’t wrong when he spoke about the truth setting us free. Ask Him to help you to be a person of truth; the whole truth and nothing but the truth today. So help you God.

HMI - 10th February 2011

Whilst I was at university training to be a teacher, one of the schools I did my teaching practice in was under inspection. At the same time, my University department was being Ofsteded too. I can remember one lesson being observed by four people; my Education tutor, the class teacher, the school Ofsted Inspector and the Department Ofsted Inspector. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I think I must have practiced that lesson about 20 times!

We are being watched in life all the time. Our children, neighbours, friends, families and enemies watch us. They watch to see how we react to situations, what we say and how we treat others.
God watches over us, not “from a distance” as the song goes, but from within us. His presence is purposeful, constant, challenging, consistent and comforting.

But the enemy too watches us with a purpose. John 10:10 tells us that he comes to steal, kill and destroy what we do and what we are. He is always looking for ways to come against us. He wants to be the ‘accuser of the brethren’, to find fault with us and bring condemnation, fear, regret and disquiet.

So whose voice are you tuning in to at the moment? Are you hearing voices in your head that rob you of peace, that steal your joy or that threaten to destroy your sense of self?
One of the verses that God seems to be highlighting for me a lot at the moment is the one in Psalm 139:23-24
“Search me, God, and know my heart; 
test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

None of us likes to have our faults pointed out to us. Most of us don’t even really like being appraised and commented on. It can be nerve-wracking to have things about us exposed can’t it? But sometimes it is completely necessary in order for us to grow, develop and mature. And do you know what? I would much prefer letting God get there before the enemy. Whenever He finds something wrong, He has the purpose, power and grace to put it right. In the last few weeks I have been asking God to show me my faults. Its not fun, but it is life-impacting.

How about you? When was the last time you allowed God to expose your de-fault settings?

Option 3 - 9th February 2011

One of my sweet pals here has recently adopted the nickname “Emollient” for me. If you are as unfamiliar as I was with the exact and correct useage of this word, let me please be the very, very first to furnish you with the facts. Emollients are substances that soften and soothe the skin. Fact. (Well...I found it on Wickepedia like a proper secretary-type person.) They are used to correct dryness and scaling of the skin. They are also, a key component in the manufacture of many lipsticks, lotions, and other cosmeticky productalia.

The terms "moisturizer" (something that adds moisture or lubrication) and "emollient" (something that softens) are sometimes used interchangeably, as they describe different effects of these agents on the skin. However, the word emollient is most often used to describe single ingredients, whereas "moisturizer" describes finished products.

Wow. I bet you feel better already, yeah?!
Anyway, I like this nickname. I like what it signifies. I like the fact that I could be used by God to soften and soothe those who are dry and hurting. I also enjoy the fact that I am not a ‘finished product’… God is still at work in me and every day is a school day! YAY!

‘Correcting dryness’ is not a specific calling of the few. I believe it is part of being a Christian. It isn’t always easy as it means we have to not mind getting ‘wet.’ (not in the limp handshake, look like you were dressed by a party of first year fashion students with a vendetta against ‘normal’ clothes kind of way) But wet spiritually. You don’t get wet just by allowing a few drops of water to hit you. You get wet by letting a full wave of water douse and soak you. Being wet like that is uncomfortable. Allowing God that close to you, to inconvenience you and cleanse you to that level is not easy. Its sacrificial and sometimes, downright odd. But take comfort from the many Biblical prophets God requested to do the strangest things. Against their example, our lives appear rather tame and normal at times...

But I don’t know a better way to live than to be closely connected and allied to Father and used by Him to soothe others.
I believe He built us all to have a deep love and concern for people’s healing and wholeness. When we look at people and can’t help but say to them, “What about this…? Have you thought of that…? Or, how would your life look if you didn’t carry that burden?' We are being like Him – the ultimate soothing balm.

You see, there is often another way of looking at things. When asked if you want option a) or option b) maybe there is also a further option c) but you, and the person offering you the choices in the first place, need to look a little harder to find it?

Last night whilst out with friends, I was asked by a waiter if I wanted curly fries or chips with my meal. Just to see what he would say, I asked if my potato treats could be ‘ever so slightly bent.’ Sadly it appeared that this was not in any way possible. You would think that 'curly' was harder than 'bent' to achieve in the potato world. It appears not.

Sometimes we need to go ‘off piste’ in life and allow God to take us into new territory. New wine needs new wineskins otherwise it will spill all over your stilletoes.

God is doing a new thing in you. Your job?
To let Him.

Sugar rush - 8th February 2011

I worked very hard with a patient friend to make Esther’s birthday cake last week. The result of five hours hard graft was really rather splendid. It was just as I’d imagined, but a lot better, because I had had so much able assistance. I carried the cake carefully to the garage and placed a large bucket on top with a sign on saying “DO NOT TOUCH – BIRTHDAY CAKE” - mainly for the benefit of the gardener who has been doing some brick-laying and was a bit free with his sand. Call me old-fashioned, but I didn’t fancy cake with bits of mortar in every mouthful… I’m not into exfoliating my teeth.

The day of the party arrived and I went out the garage an hour early to retrieve the precious object. Imagine my horror when I saw just the edge of the cake poking out from underneath the bucket, with blackened marks all over it. About to get very cross with the gardener, I lifted up the bucket and gasped.

I had placed the cake onto a board that I had then covered in icing and decorated with leaves, flowers and ladybirds - all painstakingly and lovingly made from icing sugar.

Most of the flowers had gone completely, but some were left but just ever-so-slightly chewed. The green icing – that had been perfectly flat and clean and wonderfully flat (grrrrr!!) - was now blackened and covered in tiny deep footprints. The unmistakable work of an opportunistic mouse! (or perhaps an entire crew of micelets?)

I was momentarily frozen to the spot. This was a 1 year old’s birthday party. I knew that Esther would have NO clue that she was going to have a cake, or not. But a lot of other people knew about it. I checked the actual cake for damage. Miraculously there was none. It was intact. Obviously mousey was not a mountain climber. (Although he may have become a kind of "Lot's wife" made of solid sugar?! I can imagine him swaying out of the garage on some kind of major drugged-up-E-number-induced-high.)

I raced into the kitchen and pressed my mother-in-law into speedy service as "Operation Mouse" began in full swing. Baby wipes and sharp knives were hastily found with military precision as we tried to clear the worst of the telltale signs of rodent. I made a few more flowers to cover up the most obvious of the paw prints. It actually looked ok by the time the big moment came. Nothing like it had... but enough to get by.

I didn’t tell anyone at the party about my little ‘fiend’. I figured it was better not to. Esther was delighted with her cake and pointed at all the figures on the top. That was enough for me. The following day I threw the whole thing, uncut and uneaten into the bin. Then I sighed. Because I knew it was my fault.

Do you know something? Sometimes we are so careful about making something, setting something up for God, but we do not then protect and guard it. How many people do you know have built something precious; a company, a ministry, a marriage, only for it to be ruined in days by lack of wisdom, an affair, financial impropriety or lack of accountability? It takes years to build reputation and seconds to lose it.

My experience this weekend has taught me that I need to invest in an industrial strength and size cake box. It also made me dwell on the other things in my life that are valuable... the people, the mission and the plans.

Think about what the enemy may want to attack in your life. What is it that you hold precious? Get out there with some prayer and some spiritual warfare to guard and defend what you love. Oh, and don’t forget the mouse trap.

Hello you! - 7th February 2011

I just wanted to say what an encouragement it is to see so many new readers join me in the past few days. Hello to those in Ecuador, St Petersburg, Burundi, the growing number in France, the Netherlands and Switzerland and of course all those in the UK who are tuning in. You are all so welcome into the thoughts I share in these pages. May God bless us richly as we journey together.

Ems

Seen and heard - 7th February 2011

Years ago the thought about children was that they should be "seen and not heard." Remember that?
Well that's a pile of rot, obviously. It was not how Jesus treated them. He said, "Let the little children come to me!" In other words, permit and allow... do not hinder... don't get in the way... don't stop them.

For the last couple of days, I have written about stress in children. This is the last blog on this subject. Here are three more ways to connect with those little one who you feel may be having a hard time.

1. Give your children the chance to be creative. Creativity connects us all to God, the source of all inspiration and helps us to process some of our feelings. If you don’t believe me, do this:
Empty a large bag of uncooked rice into a big bowl. (Stay with me here!) Make yourself sit there and play with it for five whole minutes. Let it run through your fingers. Try and hold it… simply play. I guarantee that unless you drop the rice all over your carpet near a hungry toddler whilst your hoover is broken, you will find it stress-busting and wonderfully theraputic. Another thing I like to do is break an egg over a bowl and play with that. Kids love to do things like this too. It is messy, sure. But it actually changes your mood too.

The other day I took one of our children to one of those ceramic painting café’s. We have a new one at the top of the road run by a poppet of a girl who is fabulous. He sat for a whole hour painting, with a massive smile on his face. Occasionally he chatted, but most of the time he was just happy to dab paint on the moneybox he had chosen to paint for his sister.

A recent national US poll about stress in children showed that many of them find doing something creative or active a helpful way to combat worry and stress. If children spend less energy dwelling on stressful topics of thought and are able to spend time in a creative process, I believe that they can start to sense God's presence and gain the peace they need.

2. Encourage your children to get outside. My boys are like dogs. A good walk or run twice a day will do them the world of good. I also need outdoor time. Walking gets the heart-rate going and makes you feel alive. Spending a bit of time outdoors surrounded by nature whenever possible will help you and your children connect with the Creator and the peace and wonder of His world. Even on a trip to school across a busy road can be time to spot what God has been up to. The skies, the falling leaves and the people going past are all clues to His majesty.
3. Make them feel special. Yesterday was my daughter’s first birthday. It was a lovely occasion and we went to town by inviting a large number of friends to celebrate with us. Last count 70. Little Esther was a bit overwhelmed at first but soon got into the swing of the party. I had gone to a lot of trouble earlier in the day to help her brothers to choose what they were going to wear and (VERY rarely for me) actually ironed some shirts for them. All of us spent time tidying the house and getting things ready for our friends. It felt like a real family occasion. I know that when she looks back on the DVD footage or photos of that day, she will be reminded of how loved and precious she is. (The boys were also delighted as I had over 200 cakes left over, so they have taken mounds of icing-laden goodies into school for their teachers and pals!)

All of us and especially little ones, need to feel loved and special, especially on days where things are not looking rosy and easy. We all need to know that there is someone in our lives who will love us, pray for us and spend time and energy on us. Anyone can be that for a child. A neighbour, a friend at church, a Grandma… There are so many things you and I can do to ‘tune in’ to the needs of those little people around us.

When I was first out of university, I befriended a new family at church who had a little boy. I 'adopted' the 1 year old Hamish as a person I wanted to invest in. When his Mum was pregnant with her next baby and very sick, I went over every night to bath him and feed him. He became very precious to me. There was no family connection, but I felt he was, in some way, a gift from God to me at that time. May I encourage you today to ask Father who you can befriend and love? There may be a little person who needs a 'you' in their lives in order to really thrive.

You may be the key to a little one being not just seen, but heard.

Children under pressure - 4th February 2011

Following on from yesterday...

I think children are under huge pressure to perform in our society. People expect them (at least in our circle of friends and school acquaintances) to be semi-professional in lacrosse by the age of 5. Not on my watch people!
I want my children to be good with PEOPLE. I am absolutely resolute that this comes first.
Here are some more things Jon and I are realising that help our children to combat pressure and stress from others and from the circumstances of life.

1. Teach them how to take care of themselves. Children will gain strength to deal with stress if their physical bodies and mental fortitude are in good shape. Remind them of the Biblical facts in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies." Help your children take good care of their bodies by establishing healthy habits with and for them. Make sure that they get enough sleep, fresh air and exercise each day, and prepare nutritious meals for them. Help them take pride in their appearance and in the way they handle simple tasks. BUT make sure they know that even when they are snotty, foul-tempered, dirty or smelly, you will lavish them with unconditional love! One of my favourite things to say when things go wrong in our house is "who does Mummy love?' Everyone has learnt to shout," ME!" (even, rather amusingly, the builder!)

2. Worship with them. We are teaching all four of our children how to sing and worship with us. Sam now knows his way round an ipod and chooses his own playlist at deafening volume! All of them can speak in tongues – because they have never questioned that they can’t – and I encourage them to pray for one another regularly in this way. One of them feels ‘shy’ doing this and I have learnt to take things very gently with him. Another of my children asks, when things are ‘really bad’ for me to pray in tongues over him. He knows that something happens in his spirit when I do. One of the boys also sings in tongues without thinking about it and makes up songs for us.

3. Display affection with them and near them. Children are taught how to love by those they live with. They are given a model of relational living by their families. Our family is very far from perfect. We all get grumpy. We shout. We don’t always have hoovered carpets and sparkly teeth. But we are very real with each other and others. Each of my children gets hugged and kissed a ridiculous amount every day. They see me modeling that with them and with their Daddy, so they know it’s a good thing to do. They are very affectionate with one another. If one of them is hurt or upset, the others will wade in to sort it out. They protect and care for one another. (When they are not lamping each other... well.. come on, they ARE boys!)

4. Don't hide emotion from them. I was brought up to face things. This has made me a very strong woman and almost totally unshockable. There isn't anything I can hear that will knock me flat anymore. If I am sad, I don't hide it from my children. I cry with them and tell them why I am sad. They will regularly repeat my 'Bible truths' back to me. "Have you told Jesus? Keep praising Mummy!" They will cuddle me, cry with me, bring tissues, flick the switch on the kettle or find my slippers whilst I blub. I HATE it when men are embarrassed by tears. None of mine are!
If I am happy about something I will explain why. They celebrate with me - even if it is nothing to do with them. Empathy is one of the best gifts you can give a child. So many people grow up not giving a monkeys about others...

I love parenting our children. I am sometimes rather rubbish at it, but I have very forgiving kids and a wonderfully consistent and involved husband.
In my very first teaching post and my inaugural parents evening, a single mum of five children walked into the room.
She said 'I just wanna know one fing. Is my boy nice to have about the place? Is he kind and 'elpful?'
"Yes,'' I said, a little surprised. "He is wonderful to everyone."
"Well, I'm doing my job then," she smiled, getting up.
"You do yours. You teach him maths and science and all that stuff and I'll carry on teachin' him to be nice."

A good point I have never forgotten.

Stressed out Children (Blog 1 of several) - 3rd February 2011

Most adults think that stress is a purely adult phenomenon. I don’t agree. From my experience as a mother of four kids aged six and under, I would say the opposite. Children certainly experience things that stress and concern them.
So what can you do as a parent, Grandparent, God-mother, neighbour, teacher, pastor or friend to help them combat their fears?

I don’t know all the answers. But here are some of the things I am trying that seem to be helping.

1. Pray with and for them. Children dwell on things after school or at bedtime. Being ‘fully present’ in their lives at that time and helping them to handle what is going on in their worlds will help. Offer to pray about things that they are thinking about. If they're feeling anxious about something that they have said or done, help them to openly share their feelings with God and ask His forgiveness. If your children are older and more independent, text them or email them to say that you are praying for them. You might also want to give them verses that you are praying to encourage and bless them. It is great to share your prayer needs for your children with a small number of others you trust. This opens you up to other’s advice, love and support. We have found this really helpful in the last few months.

2. Schedule special time for your children. If, like us you have more than one child, it is important that each of them feel special and loved. Set aside some time to spend with each of them separately, where, within reason, they get to choose the activity. I was very blessed last week when I offered Ben some special time and he asked simply to sit in a café with me. All he wanted to do was talk and eat cake with me. Seriously. How hard is that?!

3. Limit their calendar. This is unpopular in current thinking. But I have not allowed my children to do many activities after school. I think children can try to juggle too many things and become exhausted. They can then easily become overwhelmed by stress, since they rush from one activity to another without enough time to reflect on what's going on in their lives. There is plenty of time for them to horse ride in the summer holidays. Whilst they are at school, they need to focus on learning to play, share and work.

4. Help them to understand the need for and absorb silence. Reading time, doing jigsaws, having a bath alone, having a cuddle are all important. If they have time spent in solitude and silence, they can learn how to listen for God's voice speaking to them and absorb His peace into their spirit.

I am noticing the fruit of these things. I will share more in the coming days of my experiments, mini- triumphs and disasters in this area.

Talitha - 2nd February 2011

I love the story in Mark 5 of Jesus healing the 12 year old daughter of Jairus, the synagogue leader. Verse 41 says:
"He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”).
The significance of those words really touched me the other day. Obviously they are from Aramaic, not Hebrew. A further suggested translation of the word ‘Talitha’ is Damsel or maiden. And of ‘koum’ – rise.

Jon was talking to me about this verse the other day saying that the sense he got was that Jesus was almost saying
‘Come on my princess! Rise up!’
Another meaning of Talitha is, rather amazingly ‘Lamb’.
This would translate as

“Lamb! I say to you rise up!”
Sounds a little Biblical huh?!
In this wonderful raising of the dead, was Jesus giving us a clue and a picture of His own wonderful and awesome resurrection?

There are circumstances around you today that Jesus is calling you to rise above. There are people who annoy you, situations you do not like, finances you do not understand. Rise above!
There are issues in your family, issues with your health, habits you can't seem to break, problems in your mind. Rise up!
There are situations in your church, your workplace and your emotions. Rise above!

Imagine the face of Jesus very near to yours right now. Imagine Him looking at you, seeing the seemingly impossible and hopeless situation you are facing and just smiling.

“Lamb, Rise up! You can do it! I am here. You can make it! You can!"

I say to you today my friend, "Talitha Koum!"
(The picture insert shows a tatoo of this phrase.)

Blocking Porn - 1st February 2011

This week there is a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO INFLUENCE LEGISLATION TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY.

Read on.
It is vitally important that Ed Vaizey MP, Minister for Culture,
urgently receives strong public support for his round table meeting
with British Internet Service Providers on 7 February 2011.

A friend of mine who is a prophetic prayerful lady sent me this email today. I really want to support this. PLEASE join me in doing the same. I don't want Sam, Ben and Tom accessing pictures and DVD footage of adults and children in pornographic situations. This legislation could actually prevent this.

1. On behalf of Claire Perry MP, who suggested the ‘opt in’
initiative in her Adjournment Debate, I would urge you to fill in
your name, address and organisation (if appropriate) on the letter to
Mr Vaizey below, and send this email as soon as possible, and before 7 February, to: vaizeye@parliament.uk
You may also wish to add your own comments.

2. Please also forward the content of this blog as widely as possible to your contacts including churches, clubs or other groups (please put your own name in the address box)

Thank you for your help,


Pippa Smith and Miranda Suit
Co-chairmen, Safermedia
Reg Charity No. 1138360
PO Box 1046, Bromley BR1 9PF
Tel: 020 8467 6452


Dear Mr Vaizey,

Thank you for your efforts in arranging a meeting with internet
service providers to discuss how the industry can better support
parents and help them ensure that their children cannot access
pornography.

Research clearly indicates that viewing pornography leads to an
acceptance of violent and unhealthy notions of sex and relationships,
where the objectification of women and aggressive sexual behaviour are the norm.

That is why I strongly support your initiative, suggested by Claire
Perry MP, to switch the default setting for internet pornography into
our homes to ‘off’, and implement an ‘opt-in’ system. I urge you to
promote it as robustly as possible at your forthcoming roundtable with
the ISPs in February.

Yours sincerely,

Name:

Address:

Organisation (if appropriate):

Ivy experts and nightclubs - 31st January 2011

HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh was a member of the Greek royal family and Danish-German House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg but educated in Britain. This background does, of course, not stop him from being a bit of a liability when it comes to public functions. But, bless his heart, he's an old bloke.. so its not surprising really is it?

At the weekend, an acquaintance of Jon's was describing how he had witnessed the Prince doing a tour of the Chelsea flower show. He was taken in to see an exhibition of Ivy. The Ivy expert had assembled a vast array of different ivies from across the globe. He was excited to meet the royal party and poised for detailed questions.

The Prince arrived and was shown into the hall. He looked around and with warm sympathy said to the Ivy expert, "Yes! We have the same problem at Balmoral!" before walking straight through into another exhibit.

Can you imagine how crushed that poor man must have been? All that work, a life-time's learning and passion and experience simply maligned in a simple phrase...!!

We can be very similar in our words. Often, without even meaning to, we can damage those around us, belittling who they are and what they do. Our conversation can impact how others feel about their calling and their life's work. Building them up or tearing them down.

Yesterday I was privileged to be part of the launch of a new church we have planted in the city. (Churchinaclub.co.uk) It meets in a night club and has attracted a large amount of media interest. Our pastor Anthony has been interviewed on every BBC local radio station over the weekend about it. There were about 60 students there for what was a promising beginning.
I met a guy who told me he was a physicist studying for a Phd. I asked him what he wanted to do with his life. "I'm not sure really. I mean physics is totally pointless isn't it?" he replied.
I looked at him. Hard. This kind of talk makes me displeased in my spirit.
"God NEVER wastes His resources." I said. "So He has made you incredible at physics for a monumental reason. My experience is that whatever I have needed in terms of skills for a job, God has provided. Be sure of that."
The guy smiled. "Thanks mate," he said, before biting further into his burger.

Go out of your way to build someone up around you today. You may not meet the world expert on Ivy or a Phd student, but you may meet a nurse, or a teacher, or a family member who just needs a word of joy, encouragement or blessing. Don't be the guy who says, "we have the same problem at Balmoral!"

Our job as humble people of God is not to think less of ourselves, but to think of ourselves less - to build up those around us and to try with all we are, to make God known.

Cuddly Jesus - 29th January 2011

I am not a big one for health spas and the like. Jon and I once stayed in one posing as journalists. (Long story.) We spent two days surrounded by people who seemed to enjoy wearing second-hand dressing-gowns and eating food that would not have filled an anorexic rodent. But it did look very pretty - on the most massive plates imaginable.

Jon had a complimentary facial whilst there. He described it thus. He (clad in aforementioned dressing gown) arrives in the salon area and is asked to ‘come through.’

There are sickly smelling candles lit, the lights are dimmed and whale music is playing in the background. (You know the kind that is just Blue whales talking to each other with the occasional rush of water and a bit of plinky-plonky stuff on a cheap keyboard stuck on strings setting? That)

A slip of a girl, no older than 6, comes in (well, she is probably 18, but she looks and sounds like she should be in Year 1)

“Hello Mr Hancock. (High pitched Essex voice) I’m Shannelle. I see they’ve given you the complimentary facial?” (Voice goes up at the end to suggest surprise, or just beautician patter?) “It’s a wheat-based product which is left on the skin for some time. Lie here please.”

Jon is then given a mask to protect the ‘delicate area around the eyes.’ Whilst lying down he is asked if he is allergic to anything.

‘Er… Cats,” says Jon.

“There are no cats or cat-based products in this facial Mr Hancock.” (Without a flicker of amusement.) “ Like I said. It’s totally organic and wheat-based.”

“Yes. Good,” says Jon, aware that his attempt at humour is falling on very deaf HND ears. Shanelle may be 12 but she takes her job very seriously.

Jon is then aware of a mixing, gloopy sound and a strong smell of porridge.
Shanelle then places the facial mixture on his face. It is indeed wheat-based and very warm. Perhaps it is, in fact, porridge?

Jon then nearly jumps out of his skin as Shanelle leans very close to him and whispers in his ear that she will leave him to ‘cook for a bit.’

Like my husband, I can find these kinds of treatments rather more than pointless. I have to go to a beautician fairly regularly to have my legs waxed. (I am one of those rather unfortunate women whose body grows hair at an alarming rate. Years of hard-core leg waxing and eyebrow plucking has tamed the worst of it, praise the good Lord. I regularly thank Jesus He didn’t make me a Victorian – other wise I may have had an alternative career in a freak show.)

But, I never go to a beautician for beauty purposes. Massages, facials, pedicures are all very well. But they are very pricy and the effects don’t last very long. Sorry Shanelle.

We live in a western world that teaches us that beauty is tall, hourglass figures, flawless skin, shiny hair and glisteningly white teeth. So what about those of us who are short, top heavy, pock marked, split-ended and sport rather stained canines? Is there hope for us?

Well of course. God does not dwell on what we dwell on. He sees the heart of the matter and your heart, for that matter.
He knows how you feel about yourself. Whether you hide your arms, your bald patch, your tummy or your thighs. He loves you anyway.

I have a theory about Jesus. It is this. Jesus was not blue eyed, with long brown hair and a skinny “here are my ribs” kind of frame.
I think he was strong, manly, possibly even a little tubby? (He went to a lot of parties.) The Bible is clear that He had nothing to recommend him physically. He wasn’t described as handsome like Saul or Absolom. He was NORMAL looking. But He had a supernatural authority and a wonderful divinity. Fully God.

I like thinking of Jesus like this. He is not a supermodel 'facial-every- other-day' exfoliating Jesus. He is a carpenter, rough handed, overweight, strong and 'twinkle-in-his-eye' kind of Jesus.

Much more cuddly. Much more fun. Much less likely to place wheat-based products on his face. Much more GODLY.

Bagsy being like that too.
I think that is much more healthy.

Closer than you know - 28th January 2011

Yesterday I had the privilege to meet up with a young girl who I get together with every few weeks. She totally inspires me!
One of the things she told me was about her situation at work. She has a very tough job ministering to people in massive emotional, mental and spiritual need in prisons.
But every time I see her, without fail, she tells me of the amazing miracles that happen on a daily basis with her girls. Healings, restoration, hope and change. Wonderful, breathtaking truth!
One day, a few weeks ago, she had organised a speaker to come in and share his powerful testimony with those she works with. His life mirrored many that he spoke to. There were lots of nods and shared experiences of pain, hurt and loss.
At the end, my friend suddenly ‘came to’ and realised that she needed to speak and lead the response. She was overwhelmed with a desire to do this well, anxious not to ‘undo’ anything that had been said. The presence of God was in the room and she felt unworthy of getting up to say anything.
"What if I stuff this up God?" she said. "This is a life-changing moment for these people! I don't want to get it wrong!"
Suddenly she felt a presence right next to her. Thinking it was the chaplain, she turned around to see. But there was no-one there. The sensation did not go away though. She had such a sense of the closeness of God.
‘How different do you feel now you know how close I am?’ she heard Him say, in the quiet of her heart.
35 of those listening made commitments that day. Many of the others there did not raise a hand because they have already come to know Jesus.

God is that close to you right now. Whatever you are worrying about. He is there. Whatever you have done wrong. He is there. Whatever you have left undone. He is there. Wherever you have been, He is there. How different would your life be if you really believed that RIGHT THIS MINUTE?

Breathe deeply my friend. God IS with you.

Incontinence - 27th January 2011

I am getting older.
I like this. I may not always like it. But right now I do. I like the fact that each year I get less likely to ‘make that mistake again.’
If an expert is someone who has made every mistake in the book, I am becoming an expert.
I find new mistakes to make all the time.
So does that mean I am immature?
Not necessarily.

What do you think of as maturity?
Is it when you stop getting spots? Or when you are able to let certain things pass that would have once made your blood boil?
Is maturity just a ripening? Is it a harvest of thought and attitude and the senses in harmony with one another?
For many of us maturity is the time of life when, if you had the time, you would have the time of your life. Most of us don’t ever think about it. We just get older.
But that’s not the same thing. Not at all.
I know some very old people who are incredibly immature. They have never learnt to share, think of others, deal with anger, forgive, understand God’s discipline or live in the power of His spirit. Oh they may go to church. They may make jam for the local fete. They may even love the Lord. But there is something very key missing.

It was Nietzsche who said that man matures when he reclaims the seriousness he had as a child at play.

This is very true. Young children do not realise they are playing when they are. They are working VERY hard to understand all sorts of things. Textures, cause and effect, rudimentary maths, science, language, role play, drama, history, music… The list goes on.

So how serious are you about growing up?
How do you measure your own maturity in Christ?
In recent weeks I have been very challenged about this. I have been wondering why in some areas of my life I seem to be static, earthbound and immature… when in others I am soaring and am able to ‘see above the natural.'

My mentor (Goodness me! HE has his work cut out! DO pray for him!) has been asking me tough questions of late.
Talking to me about the fruits of the spirit, he has been checking in with me and asking me how my gentleness, and my self- control is. They are the marks of the really mature person you see.
The extent to which your life and mine reflect those fruits is the extent to which we are mature in God. It sounds simple. But its true.

Galatians 5:22 says this (Amplified Version)
“But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence.)

The work which His presence within accomplishes... See? HE needs to be present to accomplish these things in your life. So, how even is your temper? Are you known for your benevolence? How continent are you? (not in the sense of urine of course… but in the sense of being uncontrolled and unrestrained in your words, actions and attitudes)
In order to check your maturity, you only really need this one verse. It’s the yard stick for measuring it all.

There are no 'tena lady pants' provided. We all need to intentionally grow up - not just grow older.

Steady... - 26th January 2011

Imagine a runner in the race of her life. She has been preparing for this day ever since her first run round the block at the age of 9. She is fit for purpose, poised and tense. Everything her coach has taught her is ringing in her ears. Her muscles are ready, her brain is whirring. She tries to relax her breathing. Throwing her arms up in circles and warming up her shoulders, she tries to block out the noise of the crowd and the sight of the other athletes.

She is called to the starting blocks. She kneels to get her shoes in position. Her fingers hold her weight, supporting her strength. Around her neck is a thin gold chain and a cross. It swings pendulum-like back and forth against her skin. The words 'For You' wing their way into her consciousness.
“READY!”
She is.
“STEADY!”
She is.
Then another athlete false starts.
The gun has not gone.
The crowd are restless and take a while to calm.
The nerves heighten on the track.
The athletes tense up, running around like aggressive, insecure boxers.
She tries again to relax her breathing. Breathe in… slow…. Breathe out…. Slow….
She replaces her feet. Not so certain this time.
Again, she is poised to go.
“READY!”
She is.
“STEADY!”
She isn’t.
Her hands are shaking. Her body feels like it is in spasm.
The time between the shout of "Steady!" and the gun seems like an eternity. Words and images flash before her. Everything she has worked for is about to be tested.

"For You!" flashes into her head again.


This is how I feel today. I feel as though I am poised. Not very steady, but getting myself ready for the next thing. I can’t remember how long I have felt like this, but it is a while.
Being in a state of waiting is nerve-wracking. You can forget why you are in the race. You can forget that you are well-trained to do what you are about to do. You can forget that this is your destiny.
I felt God say to me through a friend yesterday that the most important part of my race is not the end. It is already won or lost at the very start. My stance, my attitude, my preparation, my physical and mental state is so important to how I will run.

Being poised is biblically accurate. We are meant to be in a state of constant readiness for The Bridegroom’s return. I don’t want to be caught napping when He comes back, neither do I want to have buried the talents He has given me. Oh God! Please make me a faithful steward of what You place within me. Help me be ready for the moment when you say "GO!”

It's all for You anyway.

Lessons in humility - 24th January 2011

In recent days, as I have blogged already, I have been going through the rather painful process of being humbled before and by God. I thoroughly recommend it if you want to shed pounds just through your tears alone.

This week my humbling took on new heights - or should I say, for the sake of accuracy, depths? I found myself in a completely uncomfortable and unfamiliar position and felt the littleness of who I am in full force. I questioned all sorts of things from 'Can I really mentor people?' to 'Who would want to read my writing anyway...?' A situation from where we used to live came into my world up here, overtook me for a few days and then bit me. Hard. It hurt.

Then I tried to get out of doing something just because I was struggling but hadn't actually sought God on it. When I did, to check He was happy with my decision, God told me I was wrong so I had to backtrack and apologise... and probably offended somebody into the bargain... JOY.

Then, to top it off, I had (due to the bizarreness of our diary) about 10 v late nights on the trot and felt sick with tiredness and spiritual fatigue. Consider it PURE JOY.

I took all this mixed up emotion to Father and asked a pal at church to pray for me. (Well, actually I just sort of fell on her during worship - there wasn't much asking going on.) She, wisely, pinpointed something that God is doing in me... getting me back to the basics of WHO ARE YOU EMS?

A lot of my current issues have been about not being listened to, not feeling respected or important. Boil it down - using a very high heat - and you have a sauce made almost entirely of the bitter herb: pride. I honestly thought I'd got rid of it all. But I SO had not. (In fact, show me someone who is not proud in one area of their lives... and I will show you Jesus....)

So there you go. I've come clean... or more accurately... dirty. (There is just no point in me writing a blog about truth if I am not going to let that spill into my personal life sometimes, now is there?)

John Barnett says: 'Pride is the sin of competing with God...it makes you self-reliant, self-absorbed, self-deceived, self-confident, self-conscious, self-sufficient, self-satisfied, self-focused, self-centred and self-driven."

I think mine has made me self-pitying too. Not to mention self-ish.
God resists the proud.
I don't want any amount of that resistance coming my way. Do you?
So, in my continuing journey towards proper humility (not the false kind that looks like humility but actually takes pride in LOOKING humble) I offer you this little gem:
I am a sinner. I offend God.

But I am loved, astoundingly, wonderfully and marvellously by Him too.

Perhaps you too need to examine your heart and allow God to help you to see if there is any offensive way in you? Like I said. Its good for cleansing purposes. Great for the soul - if a tad expensive on the Kleenex balsam front!

It's behind you! - 20th January 2011

Some years ago an Australian army vehicle went missing. The industrial military transporter was worth over £70,000. Amusingly it was lost just after it had been camouflaged...
I kid you not.
Sometimes we try to hide things from our friends, families and even ourselves. We get so good at pretending that we actually can't remember how we really feel about certain things.
Recent research by a website for new mothers claimed that most young mums feel they have to lie about the way they are parenting in order to fit in with those around them. Most mums allow their children to watch far more TV than they come clean about. They also give them more ready-made junk food. But in front of their friends, they say "Jocasta and I spent the morning making a volcano out of eggboxes before downing some Tofu and home-made sushi."
(They reality is that little Jocasta watched two hours of Cbeebies and ate half a packet of Orios, followed by a garage-bought chicken sandwich for lunch.)

Why do we lie?
What does lying do for us?

I think we often lie to make ourselves feel better, or to let ourselves off the hook. The thing is God is never duped, even if our friends are. There is a beautiful, if rather frightening verse in the Bible that says:

"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart."

(I Samuel 16:7)

We can't fool God, or hide from Him. Even in the lowest depths of our lives, He knows where we are and is there too.

Earth shake - 19th January 2011

Today another earthquake hit south western Pakistan. Those in Australia struggling with terrible flooding have been warned that more rain is on the way....

I was struck by the many stories of people helping one another and the young 13 year old boy who died with his Mother after insisting that his younger brother be saved first...

The news websites warn of wars and rumours of wars. It all sounds like the end times to me
So what do 'End times' spur us to do?
One of the key assignments of the forces of evil is to isolate believers - to give them false hope which lead to doubt and false teaching which leads to crumbling faith.

I have felt spurred on in recent days to meet with leaders and encourage them, to pray for them and invite them to share their prayer needs. I was aware that I was not praying for their protection enough. I think the enemy is prowling, looking for signs of weakness, dissent, insecurity and pride. It doesn't take much. He doesn't need much room...

But its not just about leaders of course. God has also been encouraging me (and others I know) to practice kindness towards people in secret ways. The anonymous giving of flowers/meals/money... Offering to babysit, cook, clean or befriend someone. Small things in the light of world issues maybe. Big things to those who receive them.

In the midst of personal turmoil buying someone a takeaway may actually be God's love letter that they are not forgotten.
So go on! I dare you to do something outrageously kind and anonymous for someone today. Your Heavenly Father is watching. Shake up someone's world. In a God way.

BIg fat Lies - 18th January 2011

Yesterday I got angry.
As I was shopping In Sale, I met a young homeless couple. Gareth and Ruth were both under 25 and homeless all over Christmas. They slept in Manchester's Piccadilly Station in the snow. Minus 19 some nights. I was tucked up in bed. With a hot water bottle. You?

Gareth told me that no hostels would take them in BECAUSE they were together.
"if we lie and say that my girlfriend is pregnant, we can get help." He said. "We were told by the housing officer we spoke with to just lie. But we didn't want to. So I'm forced to beg £20 to stay in a crumby hotel."

Gareth's girlfriend stood apart from him. Her face was filled with shame. Clearly, she was not a beggar.

This guy did not appear to be on any substances. His breath did not smell of smoke or drink. He looked tired and cold. But that is unsurprising. I gave him some money to buy some food and told him I trusted that he would. I didn't have time to get him some myself as I was late to pick up the boys.
He didn't look like a beggar. He looked like one of my brothers. A normal sweet face, with a mixed-up past and an uncertain future. I texted my pastor for his advice. He told me to encourage them to go to Social Services. I went back, but they had moved on.

What a world we live in; where authority figures ask people to fabricate stories to enable them to get assistance.

Of course, Gareth may have been spinning me an elaborate web of lies and I was duped enough to throw him a few pounds.

But its true that our world is messed up.
Banks will only lend to those who have a 'good credit rating.' In other words they want you to be in debt already and have a good record of paying it off.
In order to qualify for housing benefit you need to have an address.
In order to be registered blind you need to sign some paperwork.
In order to have a disabled badge you need to go through about 15 hoops.
In order to order a bigger council bin you have to endure a 20 minute verbal questionaire about the approximate weight, height and inside shoe measurement of all the members of your family.

Lord I am a sinner. I often do not care enough about this world to actually get off my bottom and do something about those in need. Forgive me and make me more ready to act and serve you.
Help me never to take my warm house, loving family and over-stocked fridge for granted.
Please may Gareth and Ruth find somewhere to sleep tonight. Give them favour with those in authority who can help them, and make those they ask for money stupidly generous.

Amen

Reckless love - 17th January 2011

On Saturday I went to an Art Gallery with Tom in the hope that ‘Special time with Mummy’ would help him deal with his issues about not going to school.

On the way, he decided to have a drink in a local café. We walked in, only to hear ‘Coming Home’ playing over the speaker system… I had given the CD to the shop-owner some months ago, but hadn’t been in to chat to her since. I felt particularly blessed, especially with all the emotions of the last week. I sat down gratefully. It felt like a message from God for me and also for Tom that he would soon feel 'at home' in school.

Suddenly, a sign caught my eye. It said:
“LOVE LIKE YOU’LL NEVER GET HURT.”

God told me to buy it. I protested, telling myself it wasn’t my ‘style.’ But then I said in my heart, “I don’t want to love like that again Father. Look where it got me?” I was surprised at my reaction.
But again the voice came - a gentle, tender voice in my spirit, persuading me otherwise.

I bought the sign. Grumpily. I then wondered where I was going to put it… I thought about a small dusty corner somewhere... before realising it was meant to go somewhere obvious for all to see. "All" mainly meaning ME. Oh good.

Yesterday the boys were playing in the kitchen. They were chasing each other, giggling and running round and round the table. I was in the midst of cooking the Sunday roast and was getting flustered that they were under my feet.

“Guys!” I shouted, “Stop it! One of you will get hurt.”

Ben smiled cheekily at me before running out of the kitchen with a parting comment, “We know!”

I could hear them laughing and playing up the stairs.

The truth is you can’t love people guardedly. That isn’t really love. You can’t love people without giving of yourself. That isn’t really love either. You can’t love people without being vulnerable. That is also not really love.

Love is unguarded. It is giving. It is vulnerable. It hurts. But it is also the very, very, very best way to live. I am learning that. With one eye shut.

Last night I shared this at church. I sensed that other people, like me, had felt they didn’t want to go down the road of truly loving others again. There were a few nods and tears as I shared this little picture. Hurt is part of the equation of love. It goes with the territory. There is no inoculation against it.

But I suspect that life to the full, that abundant, overflowing (‘Zoe’ in the Greek) kind of life is meant to be lived with this kind of love as standard. My boys were embracing this yesterday. They were having fun together and enjoying one another’s company. A bump on the head was worth it, right?

So I am going to try, albeit tentatively, to love others as though I won’t get hurt. Perhaps that is a challenge for you too? Perhaps you have just been so used to the barriers you don't even know they are there. But the Holy Spirit does. And He can very gently, but very deliberately take them down. Do you want Him to? That's the question.

On your head be it - 14th January 2011

One of my favourite characters in the short-lived sitcom 'Faulty Towers' is the astute but hard-of-hearing Alice Richards. She frustrates Basil on a number of occasions throughout the episode by not hearing him properly. Watch the clip below to giggle...:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIVDx-8kWZo

Polly and Basil are shouting at her about her lost glasses 'They are on your head!" But she cannot hear them. She goes off into a short monologue whilst they are pointing and screaming at her. I love it!

Sometimes we spend ages looking for something, some truth, some reason, something profound, not realising it is already on our person, or in our hands.
I have been seeking God - rather grumpily it has to be said - and rather desperately in these past three weeks about what to focus on and He has been asking me to focus on who I am. Nothing new under the sun eh?

But this morning as I stirred and opened my eyes, I realised something fresh. The thing that God has been trying to say (only I hadn't really HEARD) was that I am His friend (see blog of a few days ago re HEBRON)

I had not realised the real significance of that. This is actually not just to cheer me up or make me see I am loved. It is my LABEL. It is WHO I am. It is what HE chooses to say about me. This is irrespective of how I feel, whether or not I succeed or fail at a certain task.

Hilariously, the only song that I have been really playing on the piano for the last year has been Israel Houghton's 'I am a friend of God.' I do a slow version of it. You would think then, that I would have got this message by now. But I think I have been like Mrs Alice Richards. The glasses have been on my head, but I have not known it.

Nothing doing - 13th January 2011

"Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before." - 'Tremendous Trifles'
GK Chesterton

What do you do with your time? Are you always rushing here and there but not feeling as though you ‘get’ anywhere? Do you arrive late and have to leave early because your diary is full and your head is even more so?

As I sit at home today, gently tapping on these keys seeing words unfold before my eyes, I feel that time yawns into the distance. Having lived down south where the pace of life is so much quicker, I am still adjusting to these sleepy Northern ways.

Manchester does not seem to get up early, at weekends especially. On Saturday, Jon gave me some time to go shopping on my own to get myself a few clothes. I arrived when the large department store opened. I was the only person there, except for the bleary-eyed staff, for 40 whole minutes. I like it that no-one thinks ‘I’ll get up whilst its still dark and try and clean my car…’ up here.

One of the hardest things to be asked to do if you are me is this: ‘Please can you do nothing?’ I rail at nothing. I despise the nothingness of nothing. I bark angrily at nothing. I am a doer. I am an achiever. I am not a ‘let the moment go by’ kind of girl.

So I am struggling right now. Why? Because God has brought me low and taken me to a place where I am a woman without portfolio. Forgive my arrogance, but I think I have realised that I was very good at being arrogant. (At least that may be what God is teaching me? Hard to tell when you are in the thick of it isn’t it?) At any rate, I now have no ‘job’, no specified ‘role’ and no certain vision for the future. Ideas have been floated but not anything really concrete… Maybe you know the feeling?

I know I am a mother and I NEVER take that lightly… But somehow I thought this new season would burst onto me with fresh opportunities like the full flurry of Spring. I recognise that it is only January 13th by the way…So there is buckets of time… but I still feel somehow a little odd about this ‘not-knowing’ thing.

I thought it would be different. I thought I would be as busy as an overworked bee, see? But I am learning (the hard and slow way) that sometimes God makes me live in a fallow field. Fallow fields look barren. It looks like nothing is happening. Secretly a lot is going on. They are snacking on nutrients, getting themselves ready for planting. They are developing new soil structures and creating space for new growth. It’s just that they look...well... ugly, bare, dull and lifeless.

So I am waiting in the dark, hoping that secret shoots are coming and that new things are happening. Our pastor has termed 2011, ‘The Year of Surprises.’ I really hope he is right. On my better days I believe it - on my worst days, I hope it. In the mean time I shall care for my family, love my friends, clean my constantly rather dirty home and seek God. I guess that is not totally ‘nothing’ after all?

Oxymorons - 12th January 2011

I love language. I like the cadences of different sentences and words. One of my pet favourite things is the humble oxymoron.
My top ten, in no particular order (see what I did?) are:

1. Act naturally
2. Civil engineer
3. Found missing
4. Seriously funny
5. Microsoft works
6. Original Copy
7. Definite maybe
8. Pretty ugly
9. Genuine imitation
10. Working holiday

Fabulous aren't they?! Genuine opposites slung together as comfortably as Ann Widdecombe and Iggy Pop on a blind date.
The thing is, language is constantly evolving and developing. New words are used and old words come to mean new things. I get that. But what I don't like are these:

Exhibit A

Gangsta
Sick
Bad (or in extreme cases 'Double Bad')
Wicked (sometimes with the prefix 'Well)
Rotten

Cases in point.
In popular terminology all these now mean variations of the word 'good' or 'excellent.'
NOT IN MY MOUTH THEY DON'T!
Call me old fashioned if you will. I'm listening.
But look here, if I was the enemy - which I am not - I would want to turn and twist MY vocabulary, my favourite words, into stuff that Christians say. Wouldn't you?

So next time you hear the word WICKED or the word BAD just think about what it first meant and who it personifies. OK? What is his primary function? To be a liar.

Seeing a link?
Pretty ugly huh?

One giant leap - 10th January 2011

Esther took her first steps yesterday. The pure elation on her face was gorgeous... she literally beamed, making high pitched squeals of delight and clapping her hands. But I think I was as delighted.
I called everyone upstairs to witness the historic occasion. Much cheering and clapping ensued. Yay for Team Hancock!

The ability to rejoice in someone else's achievements is a beautiful thing. I hate it when I find people are mean and jealous of one another. If I think someone has a lovely voice, or made a fabulous cake, or written a great book or led a service well, I will tell them. I try very hard not to covet what they have and to enjoy their success. Of course, annoyingly, I am human, so I won't always feel like this, but I know this is what God asks of me.

People know that if something good happens to them Jon and I will champion it too. We have some good friends who are currently involved in an amazing project with some guys abroad. The reaction of some of their pals has been suspicion and jealousy. But we couldn't be more proud of them and happy that God has exalted them. They are so incredibly gifted, but also know how to stay humble.

I have noticed that this attitude of building others up is catching. The boys are developing the same trait. They are beginning (with encouragement and praise from us) to encourage and praise one another and others. Yesterday, unbeknown to me, Tom took a picture to church he had drawn of a guy we know in a pop band. He marched up to